Support for Melbourne Flacco Tour plus Melbourne Fringe Fundraiser Aug 18! Check gigs!

NEWS (Brought to you by The Big Mermaid. Disney presents this animated action/thriller. After a Russian submarine explodes in the pacific ocean, the toxic fall-out causes our fabled heroine to increase to King Kong proportions! Kids will love this playfully violent musical romp as The Big Mermaid avenges the Russian army for her torturous state.)

• For what is a great honour, I have been asked to support comedic-poet cult-oddity Flacco for his upcoming Melbourne shows. Check the gigs section for dates!

• Last year I somehow appeared in an Australian independent feature film called ‘Rats & Cats.’ I played ‘Funky Young Man’ and had about six lines. I had to approach the main ‘celebrity’ character, ask them why they weren’t on TV anymore, act vague and disappointed and walk off. It’s appearing in the Melbourne International Film Festival. Thursday Aug 3 at ACMI, 9:15pm and Sunday Aug 13 at Greater Union Russel Street at 3pm. I’ll be going along to the latter, for a laugh.

• ABC Queensland recently did a story on novelty songs through the ages. I was chuffed to find ‘I’m So Post Modern’ included. You can check it out at

• I am forevermore historically aligned with my favourite font. The appropriate lyric from I’m So Post Modern is mentioned as a footnote to the ‘wingdings’ page of Wikipedia. The page also reveals that there is a Wingdings club at the University of Michigan, which I’m rather interested about.

• While Pooglet the fish is still dearly missed, I was delighted to find a replacement mysteriously on my bedroom floor soon after. This new goldfish has a similar bug-eyed appearance, but admittedly, isn’t quite as comical as the original Pooglet. Some names have been bandied around such as Newglet, and son of Pooglet, but I’ve decided to go with Pooglet Aswell. Praise to ye for this miracle.

• In what could be, conservatively called a fit of consumer autism, I spent about $90 in a $2 shop in Collingwood recently. What started with a couple of small plastic imitation guitars which I thought could adorn the stage of my next solo show, quickly escalated into a novelty plastic instrument crap bonanza. Items included ‘Modern Player’ imitation electric guitar and keyboard. ‘Xin Anda Try me’ electronic guitar with eight different farm animal heads that activate the clumsily synthesised calls. ‘Little bands’ big trumpet. ‘Musical fun’ guitar. ‘Scuba diving cat and mouse’ tambourine. ‘Super funny music set’ mini guitar and tambourine and a ‘high powered computer’ which is an imitation laptop that has a mock windows screen and a keyboard in alphabetical order that plays hideous jingles when you press the start button. Bedroom Philosopher insiders say these ‘prop binges’ are a worrying sign and that it could spell for a concerning swing back towards the ‘mostly novelty’ nature of my early work. I assure the purists that these ‘super funny items’ are purely a ‘garnish’ to the complex fillets of my material.