My First Wedding (2006)
NOTE: In a nod towards professional integrity, the name of the DJ has been omitted.
I just went to my first wedding. At twenty-six, for a long time I had been the oldest person I knew who had never been to a wedding, this drought due to a tiny extended family and emotionally disorganised friends. (I just sneezed and now there’s a small galaxy of rainbow stars on the screen, I just smeared them into a whirlpool with my t-shirt) Finally one of my best, long-term school friends set a date for her ceremony to be held on a beach – in southern Tasmania – in the middle of winter. Apparently it was easy to book.
The groom said the night before he had prayed to Buddha and emailed email@example.com asking for nice weather, and sure enough his e-prayers were answered by clear skies and a surprisingly mild fourteen degrees. The groom’s father and sister performed ‘Even When I’m Sleeping’ as the bride and her father appeared on the sand. My heart sped. There’s something about seeing your friend in ‘that’ white dress – her face a picture of graceful excitement Their relationship of seven years had graduated. Their love was strong, intelligent and optimistic, and I was warming my hands in the glow, as waves swelled and crashed from behind.
The vows were show-stopping. The pair had penned their own and seemed to ad-lib them from within a force-field of joy. “You are my easter, you are my christmas, you are my chocolate, you are my television. You’re the one I’ve been waiting for, I will love you until the sea runs dry and the world stops turning – ps, you’re hot.” The ceremony was a fitting blend of wackiness (when the bride first walked out, the groom went to give her a kiss, before realising he wasn’t allowed to yet) and inspiringly sure-footed emotional honesty. Yeah, I had tears in my eyes – in a blokey way.
Trouble came late in the evening through the music practitioner aptly titled ‘DJ ****.’ DJ **** had come for free, a gift from the groom’s work. For most of the evening, he had been playing generic, nondescript background techno. Having miraculously slipped in one Bob Evans song, we became aware he at least had an ‘alternative’ section. After strolling behind his speaker fortress I queried him on his tastes, suggesting some Beck, Eels and Belle and Sebastian. He typed away furiously on his laptop, eying me nervously and suggesting he might be stretching his resources. I assumed this meant he only had about six songs that weren’t completely shit.
DJ **** redeemed himself later in the evening with an impassioned if not slightly unsettling ‘puppet display’ featuring him manipulating and voicing Grover and Ernie hand-puppets from behind his booth, much to the wonderment of the kiddies and particularly hammered adults. After the bridal waltz, **** launched into a 70’s/80’s dancefloor assault, complete with indecipherable narration between songs despite strict instructions from the bride and groom ‘never to talk.’ I thought about remonstrating, but by this stage **** was wearing a peaked cap, with ‘DJ ****,’ written on it, so I figured he’d been through enough.
Late in the evening, a wobbly, creamy moon appeared above the sea, so the bride and groom collected a few of us and dashed out to have a quick dance in the moonlight. About fifteen of us held hands as the bride and groom thanked the ‘special ones’ for coming. Watching them waltz, barefoot and freezing, I thought the idea of true love was similar to what I’d been taught in my creative writing degree.
Show don’t tell.
see, God has a sense of humour. he has email.
Call me at Ozzsound – we are the dj company that you have insulted all through your lame story. You obviously dont know the bride and groom very well as DJ **** was playing their requests! As for it being free, the groom business payed us in bartercard! DJ **** was never ‘told’ not to talk – this is your assumption. As for your requests during the evening the action you recall as ‘raising of the eyebrows and nervousness’ he thought your music tastes were completely out of line for this particular wedding… Our company plays whatever our brides and grooms suggest as this is their special day and they should be able to hear what they will listen to in the future and remember being played on the most important day of their lives… sorry if this has disappointed you but the world is not yours! As for the puppets, you tell us which other company will entertain any children at an event AT NO EXTRA CHARGE!!!! This kind of narrowminded assault on someone who is simply doing his job and a bloody good one at that just goes to show that arrogance is alive and well in Australia!!!!!
Hi there just a comment on DJ ****, we had him for our wedding a little while ago and he was the best organised and best presented dj i have ever seen, its great that he accomodates for the kids at these events because as you know they do get bored and restless, We had a very specific list of songs for him to play and you know what??? He played every single song, and WHY did he do that??? Because it was our night and that is what we wanted. Dj **** is the most professional DJ i know and we have since used him many times. So if you didnt enjoy what he is all about, well thats just your sad problem. GO DJ ****YOU ROCK!!!!!!!!!
Well actually – I am the groom – and yes I am aware how we paid. On another note we did request for the DJ not to talk specifically as we had a MC. I also gave permission for Justin to requests songs on our behalf. Justin also knows us far more than your DJ so please refrain from making such derogatary remarks. Also to make it clear Justin did not bag out the puppet display, and we did appreciate this one moment of redemption. I would also like to make it clear that we didn’t complain or publish the name of your company unlike yourself, we also did not attack your dj for his repeated references to specific songs that we chose to play for our bridal waltz etc. as “a strange song”. We will leave it at that!
Oh by the way, did you know “Posted By Merryn is DJ D***s SISTER. What A Bloody Joke
In a way all I did was offer a ‘review’ of the D.J. in the same way that I can expect any newspaper or online publication to review one of my performances. If someone writes a scathing review of my performance, I can hardly expect my manager to contact the journalist, arguing that they obviously don’t know how talented I really am and that I’ve insulted her production company and all the artists she represents. Like D.J. ‘****’, I am not only an artist, but a business as well, but as a musician I am prone to bad reviews, that can in theory effect the amount of ‘customers’ interested in my product. In your defence, I’ll offer that my ‘review’ wasn’t a terribly well crafted, or concentrated one, and was in the end, a few off hand comments – but that is my right as a journalist.
The world doesn’t belong to anyone, or does it belong to each and every one of us? My world is my own and I’ll do what I like with it and write what I like and publish what I like. Legally, you can stop me by suing for defamation – or writing a formal request asking me to take down my post, or hide the identity of the subject – which I have done off my own bat, based on the anger of your posting. If the world isn’t mine, then the world isn’t yours either, and so what gives you the right to call my story lame? All you are doing is responding to what I’ve put out there, and all I was doing was responding to what your D.J. put out there. Technically, he was doing his job, and so is any performer – but that doesn’t make them exempt from critisism.
You are welcome to call mine a ‘narrowminded assault’ – but I do question the notion that by writing my column I’m proving that arrogance is alive and well in Australia. That, among other things, is a massive generalisation that you haven’t backed up. It’s a somewhat narrow minded view from yourself, if you think that anyone offering any critisism of anyone must be arrogant, and what kind of world would we live in if no-one was allowed to express their opinions, even if they are negative? As M.C. of the wedding, I asked D.J. **** several times if I could facilitate the throwing of the bouquet, and each time I was met with the answer, ‘I’ll take care of it, I’ve done it heaps of times, I know exactly what goes on.’ and in the end, I was more or less rail roaded out of doing this part of the M.Cing for my friends. There’s a fine line between arrogance and confidence, wouldn’t you say?
Nicely argued, sir.
we love you smelly chicken
DJ **** from Ozzsound has been known to play his ‘own’ preferences in music rather than listening to the client. This is usually after he has finished getting high on aerosol cans and touching up half the women at the function. A well known sleaze!