Folkstar by The Bedroom Philosopher

NOTE: The lyrics have been updated since the original pressing of 500 albums. You might find that the version you are used to (the spoken word one) is different. In one of my fits of indecisiveness, I ‘improved’ the lyrics. Sorry in advance, to everyone, for everything.

Hey DJ I’m in my PJ’s so give me some lee way cos this is my D-day mate
All day I’ve been listening to house music, like vacuuming, washing up and a cat who’s sick.
I mixed some decks for a game of uno.
I reversed I skipped I went wild I went yellow
I did some scratchin’ yeah that was fully dope, except now my CD’s skipping on the same bloody note, oh well there’s a beaut loop now I need some beats,
A shave, a shower and something to eat
I’ve got some silverbeet and some beetroot,
I could make a little salad yeah that’d be cute
I’m ready to break into the suburban underground
With a piece of toast and my dressing gown
I ain’t got two turntables and a microphone
But I’ve got a lazy susan and a cassette walkman that records


Rock’n roll What about folk at your leisure?
we don’t wear leathers just whatever’s comfy at the time,
A cardigan is fine, don’t go topless you idiot at least wear a singlet
No need to rock up in big fancy cars
It’s not a long way to the top on a public bus
No room for big egos, when you’re sitting next to chicks on their way to bingo
Bugger your rock stadiums and big cities
I’ve got this café filled to half capacity
Sure there’s no moshing or crowdsurfing
But there’s a lot of bikkie dunking and tea slurping
As for finishing your set and smashing up your gear
If I break one string I’m usually in tears
Cos I got no roadie and I got no crew
and I got no groupies, like, where the hell are you?
My housemate’s have seen me a hundred times
My girlfriend’s yawning and looking at the time
She’s not really my girlfriend she just sort of…hangs…you know…chorus

I need more bling bling
And girls lapdancing
Are sensitive new age bitches such a thing?
I need more street cred
I’ll pop a cap
on my head?
Slip slop slap with a hip hop hat

Hit it D.J. Joni M
Nice set Joni!
Can you return the beat please. Thankyou.

I don’t wanna be obscure I just wanna world tour
Tasmania, Canberra and maybe rotarua
Sell some CD’s in shops and reimburse my nan and pop
Great, great, great, that’s great!

Thanks samples!

Let me introduce my band, man, Kelly the guitar, me and my hand.
I don’t need a drummer I’m a funk soul strummer
Gimme a tambourine, and I’ll stick it between my knees
No joke. We built this city on folk
The philosopher is back tell your auntie tell your uncle
I put the funk in Simon and Garfunkle.