Jesus was an intruder on Big Brother
As soon as he came on two million homes around Australia
Adjusted the brightness on their TV sets
Within a week he’d won the house over
They found him genuine passionate artistic kind
And he made a divine pasta bake out of next to nothing

He cracked jokes for all ages and races
He played the banjo and sang songs about freeing the refugees
He got down on his knees
Within two weeks Mooks had brought out the urban robe
Sandals were back in and kids were wearing halos to school

The TV ratings broke all the records
More people watched Jesus than The Simpsons
And Friends and the news combined
He was on the cover of all the magazines
And priests were constantly being hounded by reporters
Wanting the dirt

Church attendances doubled then tripled
People carried signs that said ‘John 3:16’
And ‘Jesus Is Sick!’

He was the talk of the school yard
The topic of the offices
Jesus was the debate of all the panel shows
Thousand of homes had flashing Christian crosses in their windows
Bible sales reached biblical proportions
Meanwhile Christians watched the media circus in awe

Just when it seemed that Jesus couldn’t be any more popular
The remaining housemates began to plot against him
For they knew he would win unless
They all agreed to nominate him
The biggest complaint made against Jesus
Was that he was too nice And a bit preachy

While it appeared that he had the hearts of all Australians on his side
Jesus mysteriously gained the majority of votes and was evicted
After leaving Big Brother Jesus refused all interviews
Auctioned his possessions for charity
And went into hiding
Viewers were devastated
Some kept their TV sets off for three days
As a sign of respect

But then three weeks later Jesus returned
With his own controversial prime time TV show
Everybody Loves Jesus And it outrated Big Brother
Three to one

He then released a hit single
‘God Is In The Heart’ And my little sister
Knows all the words

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