I’m selling myself like I am a bottle of milk
I’m milking myself like I’m a cash cow
Forced to self-farm when its owner lost interest
All milk looks the same so I’ve got to think about labelling
Super dupe milk yeah it’s you beaut
It’s got a pretty blue picture of a little girl crying

Don’t cry over skim milk
I spilt a glass of myself
All over the keyboard
And now the I is stuck

I’m shelling myself like I am a hermit crab
I’m painting the shell and selling it to the girl
Who sells the shells on the seashore black market
Now I’m a slug all dry and encrusted with sand
Shelter I seek inside a coke can
Now I’m being paid for unique branded content

Don’t cry over skim milk
The milk of human cowness
Is all over the keyboard
Now the M and the O are stuck

I’m selling myself like I am a used car salesman
More hits than Elvis there’s miles on the Speedo
I’m wearing Speedos oh God someone help me
Interview Miss Universe anxiety dream
I tell all the girls how I’d change the world
Ya de ya hand jobs please buy my album!

Don’t lie over middle class guilt
I write in the third person
And second guess the first one
And write till there’s no one left