Welcome to the 86
Next stop dodge town
Look around gee what a kerfuffle
It’s like god took Melbourne
And just hit shuffle
It’s all Dunlop volleys
10am long necks
No crims
But a long list of suspects
Punks and geeks
Asians greeks
Hipster derelict
Guest Kiwi of the week
T to the RAM to the eight six izzle
Have another grizzle
No one gives a shizzle
If looks could kill then I’ve just been punched
By a bunch that eats credit crunch for brunch
There’s girls in birkas call centre workers
Professional lurkers and welfare shirkers
If all the worlds a stage then I’m watching Cosi
Got a good possie
Aussie! Aussie! Aussie!
Eminem’s on my ipod right on there’s a fight on
Like a nightclub with lights on
Bloke’s goin ape oh great
Apparently the tram braked
Now he’s gone and dropped his milkshake
Eighty six
Personality gambling
You can choose your friends
But you can’t choose your tramily

These are my stops
These are my seats
This is my tram
These are my beats

Situation’s grim but I grin
I fit in like a nun with a hymn
Like a derro with a dimsim
There’s always someone worse off than you
Well here’s a motley crew
With perspective to boot
I sponsor a guy doing the 40 Hour Famine
He’s wearing a shirt that says Tragic Happens
De facto’s scrap bout how much they sold their pram for
The baby’s in a beanbag strapped to a skateboard
There’s a budding Davinci
Living and breathing his art in a bag
Yeah a budding retard
Indigenous land rights spill onto the street
An Aboriginal tells a bloke to get out of his seat
The suit gets booted
Says this route is routed
The pamphlet stand has been totally looted
The smell and the swearing
Sharing is caring
Glum and the glaring
Johnny is blaring yeah
You’re the voice try and understand it
You’re the voice try and understand shit
The great unwashed are in mass transit
Girls turn pink the elderly shrink
As we sit on the brink of Howl’s Moving Centrelink

These are my rails
These are my streets
This is my tram
These are my beats

Everybody in the house c’mon and let me hear you say
Everybody in the house c’mon and let me hear you say
Ding ding ding
(where’s me lunch around here? You took it you dog)

I hope I’m not too cynical
Or hypocritical
My white middle class guilt levels are critical
I remember the words said to me by my mother
Gotta learn to love yourself
Before you can love others
I wish everyone would just rap all the time
Whatever’s on their mind
We’d have a better time
MC Daz and the school girl posse
I can see it all now on Mel and Kochie
Bundoora to Docklands
Check the ghettos
Fish and chips op shops and servos
I’m rolling with my homeless homies refugees
A hot chick her friend
And a mum who’s lonely
To the CBD yeah you know me
Got my hood down
And my feet on the seat
This is my tram
This is my crew
One thing’s for shiz
I wish it had a loo yeah
(It’s not a bad tune)

Now I’m doing my washing
Underpants are moshing
Separating the colours and the whites
Then I realise that’s what causes all the fights
Throw them in together
Let the colours run forever
And we’ll wear the white pink socks of peace
(I lost one of me shoes)


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