Jesus was an intruder on Big Brother
As soon as he came on
Two million homes around Australia
Adjusted the brightness on their TV sets
Within a week he’d won the house over
They found him kind genuine passionate artistic
And he made a divine pasta bake
Out of next to nothing
He cracked jokes for all ages and races
He played air banjo
And sang songs about freeing the refugees
He got down on his knees
Within two weeks Mooks had brought out the urban robe
Sandals were back in
And kids were wearing halos to school
The TV ratings broke all the records
More people watched Jesus than The Simpsons and the news and
The CSIs combined
He was on the cover of all the magazines
Priests were constantly being hounded by reporters
Wanting the dirt
Church attendances doubled then tripled
People brought in signs that said
John 3:16 and
Jesus is emo
He was the talk of the school yard
The topic of the offices
Jesus was the debate of all the panel shows
Thousands of homes had flashing Christian crosses in their windows
Bible sales reached biblical proportions
Meanwhile Christians watched the media circus in awe

Just when it seemed that Jesus couldn’t get any more popular
The remaining housemates began to plot against him
For they knew that he would win
Unless they all agreed to nominate him
The biggest complaint made against Jesus was that he was too nice
And a bit preachy
While it appeared that he had the hearts of all Australians on his side
Jesus mysteriously gained the majority of votes
And was evicted
After leaving the Big Brother house
Jesus refused all interviews
Auctioned his possessions for charity
And went into hiding
Viewers were devastated
Some kept their TV sets off for three days
As a sign of respect

But then three weeks later Jesus returned
With his own prime time controversial TV show
Everybody Loves Jesus
And it out-rated Big Brother three to one
He then released a hit single
And my little cousin
Knows all the words

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