The closest I get to taking an E
Is reaching into the Scrabble bag
The closest I get to any heroin
Is watching The Princess Bride
I’m a frequent pot smoker
But only when I overcook
The mashed potatoes

I’m high on life
And Mum’s my dealer
The first eighteen years are free
And then you have to start paying rent

The closest I get to doing a line
Is hanging out my undies
I’ve had some not so magic mushrooms
But they tasted really nice
In the stir-fry
And I have to admit
I really like the smell of petrol at the servo
But only in moderation

Powder is for putting under your armpits
The ice cream wrapper’s
The only paper that I’ll lick
The things in my head are weird enough as it is
And right now I’m tripping out on Wizz Fizz
And I think my Donald Duck might be cut
with some bad Goofy
(NOTE: This was written when Wizz Fizz packets used to have Disney characters on them, they lost the license and now have ambiguous monsters)

Na na na na
Hit it Kerry
I’m high on life
And Mum’s my dealer
The first eighteen years are free
I got a pound of smack
From my Nan
I was naughty
She’s got a heavy hand
I got a pound of smack
From my Nan
I tried some speed
Keanu was quite bland

 

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