Aloha my dear (insert name)

This electronic smugglepot of candid flamebix is in the process of being carved out of lavander solar grits.

The album ‘In Bed With My Doona’ featuring ‘I’m so postmodern’ is now available in all good record emporiums. (You might have to convince the indie maestro behind the counter that it exists – if you’re feeling cheeky, try and pick them up – buying my album creates a window…c’mon…)

Or, you can buy online here:

To contact management:
To contact me:
To sign up to ‘LapTopping’ the official Ezine Thing of The Bedroom Philosopher, go to the bottom of the page.

NOTE: Please come back – this site will be up soon – I have abandonement issues.

Here is an excerpt from the latest issue of LapTopping which you can sign up to at the bottom of this page:


1. Smoking causes random chest pains that you keep writing off as indigestion cos youve got the grandiose arrogance of a typical twenty something and you think you can live forever you big poo basket.
2. Smoking only looks cool if you look cool to start with.
3. Smoking causes you to carry a haze of pungency, causing strangers to resent you.
4. Smoking is fun size suicide.
5. Smoking causes your potential non smoking partner to not enjoy kissing you as much and if its down to you and someone else, your odds are as skanky as that bile stick you cradle to like some self-defeatist thumb sucking replacement.
6. Smoking, that old chestnut.
7. Smoking is so 1996.
8. Youll bung your lungs, cough Whitlam!
9. If vital organs could talk!
10. Look, just cut it out please!

In the meantime – this is some gigs I’z gonna do.

Remember, you are an infinite rainbow spacebag of cosmic yay! yay! Life is precious. Get a wriggle on pooglet!

* Friday 19th August. Playing a 15 minute filler set for The Conglomerate
(featuring Harry from the Cat Empire) Bennetts Lane Jazz Club. 25
Bennett’s Lane, Melbourne Night starts 9ish. Im on 10ish. $12/$8.

* Saturday 20th August. I am not appearing but I thoroughly recommend the Word Wrestling Federation Poetry Slam final. Victoria VS NSW. This is like the poetry ashes. If you have in your head that poetry is boring or whatever I urge you to let these guys blow you away. Some of my favourite spoken word artists will be busting it out at Fad Gallery, 14 Corrs lane, Chinatown, Melbourne. Doors open 7pm. $10/$5.

* Monday 22nd August. Bedroom Philosopher spot at the Local. Cnr Carlisle/Chapel St. Balaclava. $7. Night starts 8:30pm. One of my favourite performers, Sam Simmons is also on, and he is astounding! I usually go on about 10pm.

* Friday 26th August. Supporting The Conglomerate at Bennets Lane. See above.

* Tuesday 30 & Wednesday 31 – Supporting Tripod at FLY BY NIGHT CLUB, Parry St, Fremantle. If you live in regional WA check local guides!

NOTE: All gig information is barely correct at time of printing.