Hello my dearest, precious . This is The Bedroom Philosopher here personally saying ‘radishes’. Thankyou for loving me unconditionally. Or, if not, at least, loving yourself unconditionally, or, failing that – just go and have some cordial or something.

My email is: justin@bedroomphilosopher.com. Even though I am a prized multi-national entity – I am always up for obscure digital connections of wonderment. If you would like to book me for a performance or envelope stuffing evening, you can contact my management at: chris@laughingstock.com.au


! – This website will not always be like this.
2 – It will get updated and stuff.
3 – Please come back. I have abandonment issues.
$ – No really, I do.
5 – Details on where to get my album are below! It’s in shops. It has I’m So Postmodern on it. It’s nice.
6 – More info regarding gigs will come soon.
7 – I promise a lot don’t I?
8 – WOuldn’t you if you were me?
9 – Don’t htink about that much.
10 – Nice typo captain rush and the hasty brigade
11 – THanks. Did you like that double capital?
12 – What?
13 – Why was number 4 a dollar sign?
14 – Go away.

NEWS (brought to you by Browny Maelstrom’s Canteen of Green. Now with three caravan’s across Australia offering freshly steamed broccoli in the convenience of a nugget )

• My debut studio album “In Bed With My Doona” has secured national distribution through MGM in conjunction with Nan and Pop Records. This means that, in theory, you can buy the album at any record store in Australia. Due to alphabetical merits it is first on MGM’s extensive list of new releases. It is also on the Sanity website:


You are advised to get on board the capitalist treadmill immediately. It was my birthday on june 12 – there’s an excuse to buy a lazy unit or twenty.

A representative of Nan and Pop records made this statement: ‘That’s very good Justin. Let’s hope you sell a few.’

* Melbourne International Comedy Festival sojourn ‘In Bed With My Doona’ was a success! Better Crowds. Mostly better reviews. Better me. A detailed report will come soon.

• ‘Little cerebral avant-garde folk comedy engine that could’ I’m So Post-modern is still being requested on Triple J’s ‘Request Fest’ six months after it’s induction into the public sphere. On two days in April and one day in June I was in the ‘Top 5 most requested acts’ on super requests. Details as follows:

Top 5 Requested Acts 1.04.05

chemical brothers
bedroom philosopher
white stripes

Top 5 Requested Acts 5.04.05

ben folds
bedroom philosopher

Top 5 most requested acts 14.6.05

nine inch nails
mc lars – mr raven
bedroom philosopher – i’m so postmodern
martha wainwright – bloody mother f’en asshole
greenskeepers – lotion

• The other day, while walking home from Officeworks, I had this EXACT thought in my head – “I’ll get that stuff out of the way then I can start sinking my teeth into my own shit.” This has confused some people when I re-tell it. What I mean is, what I meant to say was ‘Once I get these superflous tasks done, I can concentrate on working on my own art. But it came out funny. I thought.

* Last Saturday, I got the group I was with kicked out of a trashy Melbourne nightclub due to a spontaneous interpretive dance. It involved me flopping over the four Daytona Link-up video game chairs, rolling into the pedal trench, getting stuck, and kicking over a fake pot plant with my foot. I was eventually ‘helped up’ by large, surly bouncers saying ‘you’re a f#%kin idiot.’