(Brought to you by Faggy Mathgroin’s New “Calcu-Creams” – A disposable, single use calculator wedged between layers of thick, double mint icecream’)

• I found out that “I’m So Post Modern” officially finished 180 in Triple J’s Hottest 100. As the station producer reminded me, this is a very fine result. I wish to again thank everyone who voted, especially Gemma King, who sent out a lovely group email campaign. If anyone asks, it’s now known as the ‘Hottest 200’ and I made it in easily.

* ‘In Bed With My Doona’ is now available at Red Eye Records in Sydney and the shop beginning with ‘S’ in King street, Newtown. And at the merchandise stand infront of the Town Hall, Melbourne.
• After a reasonably long ‘Centrelink trouble-free’ period, they have once again flared up like a mysterious rash, urging me to provide my last two tax return statements, to validate the hurried sketchings that are my ‘self employed profit and loss statements.’ After recent calculations my fortnightly allowance has been tickled down to $295.

• I came home so drunk and hungry three night’s ago that I ate three slices of raw bacon. While eating the rashers, I was suddenly intruiged to know whether bacon was just thickly cut ham, and whether in fact ham was cooked pig, or raw. Upon dubious yet mirthful reactions from housemates, I am to believe bacon is simply ‘cured differently.’

• Those who are close to Super-poet will be saddened to hear of the loss of his red cape. He left it in a taxi somewhere. Search is currently underway for new cape material, all non-existant gigs are post-poned until further poetry.

• For the record, Beck’s new album ‘Guero’ rocks like a rock-monster on rocking day. After purchasing the latest album (first brand-new album purchase since Manitoba’s ‘Up In Flames’ July 2003) I found that it has 2 new songs from the leaked copy, and no sign of one song which was a bit dodge. It sounds like if Odelay and SeaChange had a kid, then that kid had a kid with Midnite Vultures, and Mutations was Midnite Vultures Dad, who was Mellow Gold’s Uncle, and Mellow Gold was second cousins with Odelay.

* Thankyou to Matt, Tom, Vanessa and Kat (hope I didn’t forget anyone) for responding to the Feryl Beryl workshop. At the moment the song is still in the pipeline, with plans to unleash it after comedy festival.