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# The Bedroom Philosopher's e-labyrinth

## Sitemaps

- [XML Sitemap](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/sitemap.xml): Contains all public & indexable URLs for this website.

## Posts

- [Phonze! - Birthmark (1999)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/1999/07/13/phonze-birthmark-1999/) - Digital rerelease with reimagined tracklist available from Bandcamp. Community Scooter (Part 1) Smells Like Hellyer Spirit Vee-Dub Dodge Mo’ Music Gospel Down By The Sea Community Scooter (Part 2) Come On Disco Chicken Environment I Got Rhythm Cliché Pea Honds (Hey Everybody) Written by Justin Heazlewood. Recorded February-March 1999 in Marcus Wynwood’s bedroom, Penguin, TAS.
- [The Harmonica Lewinski's - Songs By The Bushfire (2001)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2000/11/13/the-harmonica-lewinskis-songs-by-the-bushfire-2002/) - Listen to tracks on Soundcloud Spankees Lunch Home Brand Man Rockafella Skank Astroboy The Country Practice Song Rainbow Honey Eater Here’s Johnny Life Won’t Wait Up For You Angree Tree I Got A Girl I’m The One Who Loves You (I’m The One That Needs You) I Hate Electronica (Secret track) Sounds of the Lakehouse
- [The Bedroom Philosopher - Living On The Edge...Of My Bed (2003)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2003/07/13/the-bedroom-philosopher-living-on-the-edge-of-my-bed-2003/) - Theme Kelly The Deli Girl Weird Dream High On Life Generation ABC Anthem For The Year 2002 Good Lookin’ Girls The Coughs Single Handedly Saved Rock N Roll Happy Cow Jesus On Big Brother Disco Chicken Quarter Life Crisis Ballad Of The Wacky Tobaccy Ian Thorpe Was Bored McRock Achy Breaky Big Mistakey My Nan
- [The Bedroom Philosopher - In Bed With My Doona (2005)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2004/07/13/the-bedroom-philosopher-in-bed-with-my-doona-2004/) - Available from Bandcamp & iTunes Love Theme From Centrelink Golden Gaytime Megan The Vegan I'm So Post Modern McRock Megan The Vegan (reprise) Folkstar (Pooglet With Strings Mix) High On Life Kicking The Footy With God You're So Vague Saving Myself For Marriage Everybody’s Got The Same Insecurities As You Happy Cow The Heart Song Folkstar Part
- [The Bedroom Philosopher - I'm So Post Modern / Folkstar Maxi-Single (2006)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2006/10/04/440/) - Available from Bandcamp & iTunes Folkstar (Pooglet With Strings Mix) I’m So Post Modern (Pomomofo’s Detroit Club Mix) I’m So Post Modern (Album Version) Folkstar (Tomas Ford’s Rockstar Facelift) Postmodernism (Man In A Smock Battles The Man In The Felt Coat Rematch) Marjory I’m So Post Modern’s Cute Nerdy Sister Folkstar (Ken’s Karaoke Mix) The
- [The Bedroom Philosopher - Brown & Orange (2009)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2009/02/08/the-bedroom-philosopher-brown-orange-2009/) - Available from Bandcamp & iTunes Strange Piece Of Music Party In My Head What Am I Supposed To Be Doing? The Happiest Boy I'm So Lonely (Brown) Jesus On Big Brother For The Love I Have For You Circus Bear (Orange) Swan Song Deux Cygnes Noirs Wow Wow's Song (La La La) (Social Life In The
- [The Bedroom Philosopher - Songs From The 86 Tram (2010)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2010/04/24/songs-from-the-86-tram-2010/) - Available from Bandcamp & iTunes Middle Aged Mum We Are Tramily Sudanese Trishine (Interlewd) Northcote (So Hungover) Irish Girl Tram Inspector Man On A Tram Song To Nod Off To In My Day (Nan) New Media Old Man At End Written by Justin Heazlewood. Produced by Chris Scallan at The Soft Centre, Melbourne. Mastered by Greg
- [The Bedroom Philosopher - A Very Beddy Christmas (2011)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2011/11/20/the-bedroom-philosopher-a-very-beddy-christmas-ep/) - Available from Bandcamp & iTunes 12 Days Of Christmas Presents Deck The Kids Little Drama Boy Jingle Hell Jarred’s Letter Lyrics and ‘Presents’ written by Justin Heazlewood. Produced by Chris Scallan at The Soft Centre, Melbourne. Mastered by Cem Oral @ Jammin Masters, Germany. Choir: The Nymphs & Men In Suits. Vocals and trumpet on ‘Presents:’ Audrey
- [The Bedroom Philosopher Diaries (2012)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2012/06/16/the-bedroom-philosopher-diaries-2012/) - Written by Justin Heazlewood. Illustrations by Leigh Rigozzi. Designed and typeset by Chase & Galley. First published by A Small Press in 2012. Ebook published by Affirm Press in 2012. Second edition published by Affirm in 2013. Summer Festivals (2010/11) Buddy & Me (2010) Brown & Orange National Tour (2009) Big Day Out Report (2007)
- [The Bedroom Philosopher - Funemployed LP (2015)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2015/03/16/the-bedroom-philosopher-funemployed-lp-2015/) - Available from Bandcamp & iTunes Art Hole (Bonus track) I’m Selling Myself Fish Finger I Hate Myself Ian Thorpe Was Bored One In a Million Jenny Star Food Is The New Rock and Roll Written by Justin Heazlewood. Produced by Garry Havrillay & Justin Heazlewood. Additional engineering and mastering by Richard Girvan. Recorded at ABC Studios,
- [The Bedroom Philosopher - Living On The Edge...Of My Bed (2022 Rerelease)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2022/05/18/living-on-the-edge-of-my-bed-rerelease/) - Theme Kelly The Deli Girl Happy Cow (Original) Generation ABC Good Lookin’ Girls Jesus On Big Brother (Original) Everybody's Got The Same Insecurities As You (Original) The Coughs Single Handedly Saved Rock N Roll mearD drieW Dr Karl Ian Thorpe Was Bored (Original) The Ballad Of The Wacky Tobaccy Anthem For The Year 2002 George
- [Hottest 100 twenty year anniversary](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2026/01/14/hottest-100-twenty-year-anniversary/) - 20 years ago a little song called I'm So Post Modern managed to finish #72 in triple j's Hottest 100. I was reunited with Caz Tran on Double J as they replayed the chart last Sunday. Hot off press is this POMO production honouring the Hottest 100, a song formally known as Wingdings and ...
- [Celebrating 20 years of Beddy Phil: "the rock eisteddfod for home school children"](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2022/06/06/celebrating-20-years-of-beddy-phil-satire-with-empathy/) - My first feature interview on Triple J's Morning Show, 2002. (Or, the Guru Josh appreciation society give a tape trove tour). OH, AND... ⚡ My 1st ⚡ Album is ⚡ BACK ⚡ Yep Yep Yep Yep >> out now brown cow Lead
- [One is going to go down to JB-High Fidelity and flick through classical](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2022/09/23/one-is-going-to-go-down-to-jb-high-fidelity-and-flick-through-classical/)
- [I'm So Lonely (no, srsly)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2022/09/27/pre-save-my-career/) - I'm so lonely (my song that is) is released (again) more or less It's a paired back version best described as the musical equivalent of a fixed gear bicycle. Simple. Difficult. Worth it. Now about on bandcamp. The lyrics are featured in the poetry anthology Admissions by Upswell Publishing. Happy mental health week
- [Trishine - Solo Version drops like a pie Nov 4!](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2022/10/27/trishine-solo-version-drops-like-a-pie-nov-4/) - Yeah all good. So to celebrate I've penned a column repurposing the original 'Buddy & Me' chapter from The Bedroom Philosopher Diaries. Meantime, the track is flat out on Nan & Pop Records. Sympathise a scruffy scrapper’s poleaxed syntax. Totes devo! With introduction by Bryan Ferry... ❤️
- [Nan's on Shuffle!](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2022/11/18/nans-on-shuffle/) - The next track in my ‘stripped back catalogue’ trilogy In My Day (Nan) - Solo Version is out and about on Bandcamp / YouTube & across streaming platforms and what have you. Lollies for all (Art by David Blumenstein)
- [You're The Voice (Try 'n Understand It)! (2023)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2023/03/22/youre-the-voice-try-n-understand-it/) - On March 25, 2003 I set the world record for longest continuous performance of John Farnham’s ‘You’re The Voice.’ It was a stunt to promote my debut show in the Melbourne International Comedy Festival ‘Living on the edge…of my bed.’ How long can we look at each other Down the barrel of a gun? To
- [ceo later](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2023/04/08/ceo-news/) - US comic Sara Schaefer (a person) spoke to The Age about how solitary comedy is: “A lot of people will say comedy is a family, comedians are family and we have each other’s backs. I’ve always found that to be such a ludicrous statement because comedy is one of the most individualistic artforms. You’re literally
- [The Horses World Record Attempt (2023)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2023/11/01/the-horses-world-record-attempt-2003/) - In 2003 I wanted to set the world record for longest continuous performance of Daryl Braithwaite's The Horses while riding on a horse carousel on Melbourne Cup Day. So I did. The record was thirty minutes. I could have gone longer. The plan was to go for two hours. After half an hour
- [VHS poetry doco debrief](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2023/11/21/vhs-poetry-doco-debrief/) - “We’re all insecure!” “I don’t feel like I fit in!” “I could get nude!” Just some of the quotes from my performance debrief with ‘Dark Michael’ for a 2003 poetry documentary.
- [The cat is outta the bag...](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2017/01/04/the-cat-is-outta-the-bag/) - Cat Show is coming to Perth & Adelaide Fringe!
- [News (28/2/17)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2017/01/15/news-15117/) - I walked into my venue in Adelaide to find this. It's as if someone died ignoring a show. Cat Show has added Sydney Comedy Fest to its feline-up. Tix on sale now for Giant Dwarf April 29. Cat Show was nom-nominated for Best Comedy at Perth Fringe. I found a cat in my chop: The
- [Canberra Comedy Festival](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2017/03/15/canberra-comedy-festival/) - I'll be a "Canberra Visitor" this Friday. Cat Show is suitable for everyone - unlike this game for 1-0 players. Cat Show / Canberra Comedy Festival runs March 24/25. Here's a soft-hitting chat about my time at Uni of Canberra. (Moby, Mario Kart & Mature age studs.) They're giving away a double pass on their
- [Melbourne Comedy Festival](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2017/03/27/melbourne-comedy-festival-303-94/) - Cat Show Melbourne closes tonight! Aint no party like a Cat Show party. "Moments that make you howl with laughter arrive through Heazlewood's half-crazed awkwardness and erratic brilliance. If you appreciate offbeat humour, Heazlewood's eccentric, wildly unpredictable stage presence may be your catnip." - Cameron Woodhead, the Age/SMH. Read my latest interviews in Broadsheet & Time
- [Sydney Comedy Festival](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2017/04/22/sydney-comedy-festival/) - Cat Show coming to Giant Dwarf. April 29. Go there! Enjoy the season finale of my trailers. (Same day as U.S.) Special guest Flacco! Poem by Paul Gallico. Big thanks to director / cat wrangler Will Hindmarsh. If you haven't signed up to my scintillating mailing list - READ ALL ABOUT the latest news.
- [BEDDY PHIL NEWS (remember me?)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2019/09/22/beddy-phil-news-remember-me/) - I’ll make a cameo at the Mental Health Week Comedy Roadshow Oct 11 at the Hobart Brewing Company. Lyrics to In My Day (Nan) were published in the spoken word anthology Solid Air alongside Courtney Barnett and Quan Yeomans. I would recommend the book but I can't stand poetry. On Spotify, Party In My Head the ‘could have been a
- [Northcote 2020](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2020/02/14/northcote-2020/) - Hot off press - I’ve completed my own negotiated study / home-school project on the sub-cultural / social ramifications of Northcote (So Hungover). Coppa load of these Fun Fax. (#1 with a bullet point.) Good lord, an exclusive interview with the elusive Badroom Philosopher guy. Vote for Northcote in Triple J’s Hottest 100 of the
- [Northcote Fun Fax [or, Ever Wanted To Know What It’s Like To Have Your Artistic Creation Crowd-Surf Its Way Over The Underground Only To Be Strip-Searched, Redressed And Tossed Back With A Cultural Reappropriation You Don’t Quite Recognise Or Relate To?] (2020)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2020/03/06/northcote-fun-fax-2020/) - "Is there anything more hipster than making fun of being a hipster?" youtube user rhonan, 10 years ago. To celebrate the pleather anniversary and long-listing in Triple Js Hottest 100 of the Decade, The Bedroom Philosopher (AKA tram dude) reflects on the cultural flashpoint of his accidentally-on-purpose Khe Sanh for millennials.
- [Underground Sketches (Ronnie Johns Half Hour)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2020/03/24/underground-sketches-ronnie-johns-half-hour/) - The song Northcote (So Hungover) had its origins as a sketch I wrote for Channel 10 comedy show The Ronnie Johns Good Times Campfire Jamboree Half Hour Show (Now on Television) in 2005-2006. I guess it was depicted to be takin' the piss out of the emo / punk scene - about three years
- [2021 what are you on about](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2020/04/20/for-the-love-i-have-for-synths/) - Last year I went to town on the Northcote ten year anniversary. Do peruse the cultural essay of fun fax if you haven't. It's good to see myspace practicing social media distancing. I was on there and could not see anyone around for miles. Bearded and gifted colleague Twinkle Digitz is a whirligig of 80s
- [WOW WOW'S BACK ON THE SMALL SCREEN](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2021/08/06/wow-wows-back-on-the-small-screen/) - >>> This one's for Sydney, featuring your own Richard Cartwright on sitar. Wow Wow has lockdown games for 0-1 players aged 6 to 12. Be sure to write on his wall and include him in "top friends." 🗿📡📯🤎⬆️⬆️⬆️ Backstory: I was trying to find an HD version (as it's always been in SD)
- [LETTER B](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2021/12/15/letter-b/) - Having enjoyed the recent Beatles documentary, I have a newfound appreciation for the work of The Beetles. Does your Mother whisper B words?
- [Who's lonely? You're lonely? I'm lonely. I was lonely before it was popular.](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2022/03/25/whos-lonely-youre-lonely-im-lonely-i-was-lonely-before-it-was-popular/)
- [peace and love to all irish women ☘️](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2022/04/18/peace-and-love-to-all-irish-women-☘️/)
- [I've had someone intrude onto stage while I perform](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2022/05/05/ive-had-someone-intrude-onto-stage-while-i-perform/) - I guess I was asking for it though. Courtesy of The Comedy Store, Sydney. (Hair courtesy of John Safran's Race Relations, 2009).
- [GENERATION ABC (2022)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2022/05/26/generation-abc-2022/) - It's 20 years since my first 'hit' busted out on the airwaves of Triple J. Within my six months songwriting blitz on The Morning Show - the first track to resonate with listeners was my ode to the memories of the amazing cache of programming brilliance we were adorned with as children
- [The Real Trishine (2022)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2022/11/11/the-real-trishine-2022/) - To mark the release of Trishine - Solo Version, we hark back to Buddy & Me from The Bedroom Philosopher Diaries - when a certain someone wandered onto the tram... In November 2010 I was booked by Melbourne Music to perform some shows on the 86 tram (along with a certain Courtney Barnett!). This involved
- [Early Girlfriends (2010 - The Big Issue)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2010/03/24/early-girlfriends-2010-the-big-issue/) - In grade 10, my girlfriend Kristen cheated on me with an older guy. When I say older, I mean he was on his P’s. I’d tried everything I could with her: a four-hour phone conversation when we lived half-an-hour away; some serious leg playing; I even let her boss me around and
- [The Bedroom Philosopher's Hippest 100 (2012)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2012/08/18/the-bedroom-philosophers-hippest-100/) - The hippest 100 was a 2012 competition where I asked peeps to send in their coolest sounding, most obscure, and generally made-up bands. twitter was at the height of its powers. HERE is the Full list below. Congrats to Giles Field (@GilesField), Mat Ward (@MatWard66) & Andy Hazel who all scored five entries
- [Cat Story Continues (Adelaide Fringe - 2017)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2017/07/04/cat-story-continues-adelaide-fringe/) - note: LapTopping evolved into an untitled newsletter from 2014 - 2020... The most 'Bedroom Philosopher' related issues are listed here. Click on link below to read or for the latest issues click HERE. CAT STORY CONTINUED (ADELAIDE FRINGE)
- [Cat Show Tour (2017)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2017/07/04/cat-show-tour-2017/) - note: LapTopping evolved into an untitled newsletter from 2014 - 2020... The most 'Bedroom Philosopher' related issues are listed here. Click on link below to read or for the latest issues click HERE. CAT SHOW TOUR
- [Artist Olympics (2012)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2012/08/14/3259/) - ARTIST OLYMPICS GOLD – 100m Social Butterfly – Bridget Gourley. SILVER – Parallel Universe Bar Routine – Angie Hart. BRONZE – Discus Jockeys – (DJs who fling their records away after use) – Eamon Hanna. 4th – Equalestrian – (The horse does one lap of the jumps
- [Black Cat Super Melbourne (2017)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2017/07/04/black-cat-super-melbourne/) - note: LapTopping evolved into an untitled newsletter from 2014 - 2020... The most 'Bedroom Philosopher' related issues are listed here. Click on link below to read or for the latest issues click HERE. BLACK CAT SUPER MELBOURNE
- [Found Cat (2017)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2017/07/04/found-cat/) - note: LapTopping evolved into an untitled newsletter from 2014 - 2020... The most 'Bedroom Philosopher' related issues are listed here. Click on link below to read or for the latest issues click HERE. FOUND CAT
- [Cat Show Sydney (2017)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2017/07/04/cat-show-sydney/) - note: LapTopping evolved into an untitled newsletter from 2014 - 2020... The most 'Bedroom Philosopher' related issues are listed here. Click on link below to read or for the latest issues click HERE. CAT SHOW SYDNEY
- [Smokestack Comedy Galaga (2019)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2019/07/28/smokestack-comedy-galaga-2019/) - note: LapTopping evolved into an untitled newsletter from 2014 - 2020... The most 'Bedroom Philosopher' related issues are listed here. Click on link below to read or for the latest issues click HERE. SMOKESTACK COMEDY GALAGA
- [Life Flux (2019)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2019/09/22/life-flux/) - note: LapTopping evolved into an untitled newsletter from 2014 - 2020... The most 'Bedroom Philosopher' related issues are listed here. Click on link below to read or for the latest issues click HERE. Life Flux
- [Northcote 2020](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2020/03/25/northcote-2020-2020/) - note: LapTopping evolved into an untitled newsletter from 2014 - 2020... The most 'Bedroom Philosopher' related issues are listed here. Click on link below to read or for the latest issues click HERE. NORTHCOTE 2020 (2020)
- [The Bedroom Philosopher Interview (2020)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2020/02/27/the-bedroom-philosopher-interview-2020/) - BUNYIP.com readers might remember The Bedroom Philosopher from his JJJ favourites I’m So Post Mortem and Northcote (So Hung-Over). Declyn Mash caught up with the intriguing or reclusive comedian about his new web series PUP! What are you hoping to achieve with this series? What are you hoping to achieve with this interview? I
- [In Bed With My Doona (Beat review 2005)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2020/03/24/in-bed-with-my-doona-beat-review-2005/) - In 2005 author pal Liam Pieper (fellow Voiceworks edcommer) was sent my album In Bed With My Doona to review for Beat. No doubt inspired by John Safran's Music Jamboree, he took editorial sensitivity to fabulously dangerous levels by not only running the review by me first, but offering me the chance to write it
- [CeeDeeHeeBeeJeeBees (Kill Your Darlings - 2010)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2010/07/09/ceedeeheebeejeebees-2010/) - So Thom Yorke has come out and declared the album dead. This isn't the first time Thom's been the bearer of bad tidings. In 2004 he cancelled the second Melbourne Radiohead show due to a frail voice. Frail voice? I thought that was the whole point. Not only did I have a ticket but I'd
- [Busker's Of The World Unite! (BMA 2003)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2003/08/06/buskers-of-the-world-unite-2003/) - I had just finished my world record attempt on the civic horse carousel, the humour of which was questioned by ‘elvis’ on the riot-act.com website (are triple j the only people that find justin heazlewood funny...remember, they broke savage garden) I was feeling a little damaged and introverted and wondering why someone with the nerves
- [If There's A Bus In Heaven I Hope Larry's Driving It (BMA - 2002)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2002/08/15/larry-my-favourite-busdriver/) - The ACTION bus driver is being extra cheerful, and I can tell he's from the old school, (if there is an old school of bus drivers, or even an underground urban scene) he has clearly not read sections 3.1.1 through to 3.1.9 of the ACTION guide to being a better bus driver. "It is not
- [Cut the Jelly - Phonzarelli (Voiceworks - 2001)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2001/06/24/cut-the-jelly-phonzarelli-voiceworks-2001/) - The beginning of 1999 was a smash and grab affair. On Valentine’s Day I left Tasmania to study at the University of Canberra. Eight days before I left I met a girl called Jacci at a party. Sometime after dawn we kissed. It was three days after I had unofficially broken up with my girlfriend
- [I'm selling myself](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2022/05/18/im-selling-myself/) - I’m selling myself like I am a bottle of milk I’m milking myself like I’m a cash cow Forced to self-farm when its owner lost interest All milk looks the same so I’ve got to think about labelling Super dupe milk yeah it’s you beaut It’s got a pretty blue picture of a little girl
- [Golden Gaytime (Original)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2022/05/18/golden-gaytime-original/) - I'm not one to make a statement I'm anything but blatant Of life I am but a quiet member But I’ll never forget that day When out in the open it all came Had to be that one day in September We'd lost our footy final So on the school bus we all piled Broken
- [My nan really likes Radiohead](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2022/05/18/my-nan-really-likes-radiohead/) - My Nan really likes Radiohead But my Pop thinks it’s all a lotta noise My Nan’s favourite album is Kid A hey She likes to put it on while she does the housework She appreciates the fact that they weren’t afraid to experiment But my Pop my Pop thinks it’s all a lot of noise
- [Theme (Demo)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2022/05/18/theme-demo/) - Hit the snooze button on life Take five minutes out from the strife This is Justin Heazlewood Living on the edge...of my bed « Back to Living On The Edge... Of My Bed lyrics
- [Quarter life crisis](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2022/05/18/quarter-life-crisis-2/) - I said I wanted to be a fireman when I finally grew Well I’ve blown out the candles on my cake Now my dreams come true I don’t know whether to laugh or cry now I’m twenty two I think I need two little ducks to tell me what to do I thought I had
- [George Bush was the school bully](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2022/05/18/george-bush-was-the-school-bully/) - George bush was the school bully He wasn’t that tough but he knew all the big kids They beat you up for your lunch money And use the money to buy more weaponry Building up his slingshot armery Then he’d sell them back to the other kids He wondered why he got hit in the
- [Anthem for the year 2002](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2022/05/18/anthem-for-the-year-2002/) - So the world’s gone to poo So whatcha gonna do? You gonna live in a bunker Eatin’ cans of tuna chunks? Waitin’ for the news on the radio They’ve blown up your patio! Yeah now it’s personal joe Are you a slave to the newspaper Tabloid bluesmaker Makes you feel like crying Like a Fred
- [The ballad of wacky tobaccy](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2022/05/18/the-ballad-of-wacky-tobaccy/) - The first time I tried pot was with my mate Billy in the Burnie Park We didn't have a light it was getting late I tried to light a joint off a barbecue plate but to no avail We walked to his house and sparked up the joint We went puff for puff till Bill
- [Ian Thorpe was bored (Original)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2022/05/18/ian-thorpe-was-bored-original/) - Ian Thorpe was bored Of all the winning when he was swimming Here I am now He said Entertain me! They tried everything from the underwater TV Following him with Buffy To the specially ordered inflatable version of Lord Of The Rings For him to read while he did the backstroke But nothing could put
- [Dr Karl](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2022/05/18/dr-karl/) - Dr Karl Dr Karl Callin Dr Karl Dr Karl Dr Karl Where are you? Where does all my money go? And why doesn't my goatee grow? And why do my socks all have holes? And what the heck's in this sausage roll? And why did I cry at the start of Titanic? And when I'm
- [Meard Driew](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2022/05/18/meard-driew/) - Weird dream Weird dream I woke up with giant broccoli on my mind Like something I'd watch on SBS late at night No plot no narrative no setting Just my subconscious sweating About obscure people from high school And slightly erotic situations With girls that don't even have faces Let alone names I can remember
- [The Coughs single handedly saved rock 'n roll](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2022/05/18/the-coughs-single-handedly-saved-rock-n-roll/) - It was 2003 rock music was in trouble All the cool 'the' bands had finally burst their bubble The Strokes put out a Christmas album called ‘Santa Cruz’ It was met with hisses and boos The Vines went all experimental Their Gregorian thrash jazz drove everybody mental The UK press were looking for the next
- [Everybody's got the same insecurities as you (Original)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2022/05/18/everybodys-got-the-same-insecurities-as-you-original/) - I had a crush on a girl in grade twelve Thought she was a snob Too good for me Turns out that she was just shy She thought I was too cool Too cool for her Turns out she didn’t like me anyway In that way But that’s not the point I’m trying to make
- [Jesus on Big Brother (Original)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2022/05/18/jesus-on-big-brother-original/) - Jesus was an intruder on Big Brother As soon as he came on two million homes around Australia Adjusted the brightness on their TV sets Within a week he’d won the house over They found him genuine passionate artistic kind And he made a divine pasta bake out of next to nothing He cracked jokes
- [Good Lookin' Girls](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2022/05/18/good-lookin-girls/) - Good lookin’ girls take themselves a bit too seriously I want a girl with a healthy dose of irony A girl who can be one of the boys With a cheeky wink and a farty noise Well good lookin’ girls won’t look you in the eye They swish their hair and strut on by Good
- [Generation ABC](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2022/05/18/generation-abc/) - Yep yep yep yep yep yep yep yep Uh-hoh uh-hoh It doesn’t matter where you are in the big brown land What circles you mix in or who understands There’s always one subject that gets them involved More than sports or politics or even rock ’n’ roll It’s does anyone remember The Mysterious Cities Of
- [Happy Cow (Original)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2022/05/18/happy-cow-original/) - I’m feeling awkward Like a budgie Sitting on Sandra Sully’s head As she reads the news About something Quite devastating Perhaps an earthquake And I don’t know where to look I’m feeling insecure Like an emu Hosting the Oscars For the first time Trying to read The nominations But just pecking The microphone I’m feeling
- [Theme](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2022/05/18/theme/) - Hit the snooze button on life Take five minutes out from the strife This is Justin Heazlewood Living on the edge...of my bed « Back to Living On The Edge... Of My Bed lyrics
- [Kelly the Deli Girl](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2022/05/18/kelly-the-deli-girl/) - I met Kelly in the supermarket deli I wasn’t lookin’ for love I was just after a cheap chook I took a number and waited in turn Then my ears began to burn It was like that movie Sliding Doors I was Gwyneth Paltrow In a pair of parachute pants It was destiny It was
- [✨ Happy  2️⃣ 0️⃣  years of The Bedroom Philosopher!](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2022/05/04/✨-happy-2️⃣-0️⃣-years-of-the-bedroom-philosopher/) - Can you believe it was 2002 that I started my segment on Triple J’s Morning Show? (Are ya sick of me yet?) Well, I’ll be celebrating all this month by posting the original trax, classic pix and a lil' origins doco Friday. Stay tuned on Facebook, Twitter & Youtube. There’ll be competitions, giveaways and infinite Golden
- [](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2021/09/07/5726/) - I have a shop. Perhaps you'd like to shop in it. >
- [Headlining Local Laughs June 10](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2019/06/09/headlining-local-laughs-june-10/) - I will be wearing colourful trousers while performing light to moderate comedy at The Local tomorrow eve June 10. Perhaps I will play Weird Dream or Megan The Vegan, which has no doubt aged really well. (The Local, St Kilda, doors 8:30, $15/$12.) Perhaps you’re sad that Labes didn’t get in or that Ric Ocasek’s
- [Smokestack Comedy Gala](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2019/04/24/smokestack-comedy-gala/) - 🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺 oy oy oy. I'm performing under the theme of ‘progress’ at Smokestack at Monash Uni ELECTION EVE mate. May recreate ‘A.I.’ in ten minutes, summoning the best non-blinking comedy since Elliot Goblet. Or, just bang a tune of this ilk: Meet your new Minister for Nostalgia (courtesy of Fitzroy Writers Festival).
- [Song To Nod Off To / Darby Hudson](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2019/06/17/song-to-nod-off-to-darby-hudson/) - My sleeper hit Song To Nod Off To (#5 on my Spotify with a bullet) has been used as the soundtrack to a lovely lil' meditation on walking by Darby Hudson. He's like Australia's David Shrigley, funny and poignant and well worth sussing out. Meanwhile, I discovered a glowingly harsh review of the instrumental
- [Rock Star! Band Name! Hit Single! (2007)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2007/11/19/rock-star-band-name-hit-single-2007/) - In the tradition of working out your porn star name (your first pet name and first street name), here is a technique I’ve created to find out your self-indulgent rock star name, the name of your globe-trotting, unit shifting band as well as the lazily penned title of your first over-produced, riff pilfering mega-hit. How
- [Songs From The 86 Tram - Track by Track (Mess+Noise 2010)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2020/05/16/songs-from-the-86-tram-track-by-track-messnoise-2010/) - MIDDLE AGED MUM I went down to the cross-roads late one night (corner of Smith and Johnston) and just as I thought he would, the devil appeared. He was wearing a long jacket, big leather hat and twisted sunglasses with a psychedelic reflection. The Devil said ‘whaddaya want?’ I said ‘Look, I’m trying
- [PUP! -- P u n y  L o o n s](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2020/02/11/pup-a-new-web-series/) - I have a new web series - PUP! New eps will appear Tuesdays at 2:22. Subscrube to my channel. SUBSCRUBE! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IpgayB6mJcY&feature=youtu.be
- [For The Love I Have For You](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2011/05/10/for-the-love-i-have-for-you/) - For the love I have for you I would do anything Most things Okay I’ll make a list For the love I have for you I would surely die Wait a minute Dying’s not on the list For the love I have for you I’m the luckiest man in the world Bear in mind this
- [Remembering Tim Brooke-Taylor](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2020/04/13/remembering-tim-brooke-taylor/) - The British flag of my childhood is at half mast. 🇬🇧 I got to see The Goodies perform live in Sydney in 2005. The best bit was when they came out in three wheelchairs linked together. The show would air on ABC primetime around 5:30pm. I found Tim's impassioned monologues praising the monarchy baffling as
- [uptown funk you up](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2020/03/24/uptown-funk-you-up/) - #hottest100 #music
- [You'll Never Make Any Money From Wobbleboarding (Voiceworks - 2003)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2003/06/24/youll-never-make-any-money-from-wobbleboarding-voiceworks-2003/) - The first gig I ever did was to a modest but receptive audience of three, in 1987. It was a place called the spare bedroom and Nan, Pop and Mum came all the way up the hall to see me. Being a child genius rockstar, before strumming a note, I asked the audience to stand
- [Best of the Dickhead (I mean Decade)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2019/12/16/best-of-the-dickhead-i-mean-decade/) - Northcote (So Hungover) has been honoured with inclusion in The Music Network's Best Australian Songs of the Decade. Nothing sez crushing it like coming 97th on a list. God I'm relevant (less so than the veronicas) My Top 5 'Ice-creams of the Decade' 5. Connoisseur Belgian Chocolate Fudge With Hazelnut (4 pack) 4. Cadbury Picnic
- [kcoms a yub suoetroP enahS](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2019/05/28/kcoms-a-yub-suoetrop-enahs/) - T
- [NEWS (9/2/18)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2017/11/01/new-short-story-storytelling-show/) - I made up a hand gesture for the summer Smith Journal. (illo by Indigo O’Rourke). Here is a piece I wrote about phone boxes for the Good Weekend. I played Harry Potter in the Wheeler Centre event Harry Who? The True Heroes of Hogwarts October 25 at the Athenaeum Theatre. I used to
- [♥️💐 Happy Birthday Mum. 64 today. 💐♥️](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2018/07/02/♥️💐♥️happy-birthday-mum-64-today-♥️💐♥️/)
- [LapTopping - 86 - "Proper Gander"](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2012/02/12/laptopping-86-proper-gander/) - --------------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Bit Long, Official E-zine of The Bedroom Philosopher --------------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ISSUE 86 Sunday February 12, 2012 **The Bedroom Philosopher Diaries now available from The BP Store** ----------------------------------------------------------------------- LT BIRTHDAYS Happy Birthday Sigrid Thornton 53 today! Happy Birthday Christina Ricci 32 today! Happy Birthday Per Gessle (Roxette) 53 today! ----------------------------------------------------------------------- WHAT’S POPULAR? (FB
- [News (12/6/14)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2014/06/11/news-17414/) - NOTE: My Brisbane show at Southside Tea Room now starts at 4:30pm! The Funemployed tour (as Justin Heazlewood) kicks off in July. (Click on venue for FB invite) Hobart (MONA July 5, The Night Owl July 6), Canberra (Smith's Alternative July 12), Sydney (The Newsagency July 13), Brisbane (Avid Reader July 18, Southside Tea Room
- [Kicking The Footy With God](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2011/05/10/kicking-the-footy-with-god/) - Kicking the footy with god Kicking the footy with god He hits me right on the chest With another perfect drop punt Drop punt I’m praying that it doesn’t rain tomorrow God says he’ll see what he can do Cos it’d be good for the garden yeah But the big game’s on at two On
- [Cat Show Brisbania](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2017/07/20/cat-show-brisbania/) - My self-cat extravaganza comes to the Queensland Poetry Festival for one night only August 26! I've uploaded an album of Cat Show tour snaps to Facebook. (Photos as well.) My website has been hell updated. New cat documentary 'Kedi' has been described as the "Citizen Kane of cat documentaries." Self confessed 'cat' Noel Gallagher slags off dogs in the Oasis doco 'Supersonic.' I'm seeking freelance
- [Witty kitty ditty!](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2017/06/19/new-cat-track/) - Catch a new song from Cat Show performed live. Hear the Full Interview with Jack Shit on FBi. Cat Show Tour pics are now up on Facebook! I'll be bringing Cat Show to Brisbane late August. More details soon. I'll be giving a workshop on self-care for writers on July 27 in Melbourne. You can
- [News (19/12/16)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2016/11/16/news-161116/) - I'll be performing 'Cat Show' at Perth Fringe, Adelaide Fringe, Canberra Comedy Festival and Melbourne Comedy Festival. Tickets are now on sale. Four of my columns are featured in Frankie's new anthology 'Something To Say.' I talk about graffiti, grandpas and growing down.
- [Wearing Pop's Clothes (Frankie - 2008)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2008/08/06/wearing-pops-clothes-2008/) - (This piece appears in the Frankie Anthology 'Something To Say.') After my Pop passed away last year, I found myself wearing his clothes. This was nothing new. Back in 1998 when I first discovered op-shopping, I realised I had an exclusive treasure trove right under my nose. During a regular weekend jaunt to Nan & Pop’s
- [The Bedroom Philosopher in Adelaide on te%](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2016/11/18/the-bedroom-philosopher-in-adelaide-on-te/)
- [News (5/9/16)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2016/09/05/news-5916/) - I'm performing at Coburg Carnivale. I'll be playing every song in my back cat-alogue that mentions a cat, while dressed as a cat. It’ll be Cat Stevens versus Cat Power with Kitty Flanagan by a whisker. Sep 21, 22 at 7:30. Tickets HERE. I just had a bowl of Baileys ice cream with raw grated
- [News (1/11/15)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2015/10/30/news-11115/) - Funemployed has been nominated for the Most Underrated Book award. (It's a thing.) I recently presented Funemployed: The Sequel at Bigsound feat. Jen Cloher in scintillating form. Crazy Bastards was nominated for Best Performance at the Online Video Awards. My ditty 'I Hate Myself' was recently featured on RN's Earshot during mental health week. Still got
- [One In a Million (live at School of Life)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2015/10/30/one-in-a-million-live-at-school-of-life/) - Taken from Funemployed LP.
- [News (1/8/15)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2015/07/31/news-1815/) - Crazy Bastards has been nominated for an AWGIE in the 'Drama or Comedy, Other Form' division. It'll be announced Sep 11. I'll be presenting a Funemployed panel at BIGSOUND 2015. Funemployed LP is out on Bandcamp and iTunes. I recently appeared at Margaret River Writers Festival & Music NT conference in Darwin. The new website photos
- [Happy New Album Day!](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2015/03/19/happy-new-album-day/) - Funemployed LP is available from Bandcamp, iTunes, or CD from BP shop. Eight stripped back anthems for creatives living in a material world. I’m Selling Myself has BP milking himself like a cash cow ‘whose farmer lost interest,’ while in single Food Is The New Rock and Roll he threatens to ‘quit music to pursue hospitality’
- [Food Is The New Rock and Roll](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2015/03/18/food-is-the-new-rock-and-roll/) - The hipster barista Moustachin my sister Thinks he’s the shit With his cold brew drip They line up for miles Nobody smiles His ego is bigger Than most rockstars I know Cos food is the new rock and roll I’m getting myself off the dole Gonna start a café Panini Simone Watch the bloglidites fill
- [Jenny Star](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2015/03/18/jenny-star/) - Jenny was a busker in her day She made $100 a day Most people ignored her But she was happy to play And her friends said Hey Jenny you’ll be a star Jenny went on a talent show With a song about her dying bro She won herself a recording prize As her star rose
- [One In a Million](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2015/03/18/one-in-a-million/) - I am one in a million! I am one in a million! There’s four more like me Just in Melbourne I know cos I compete against them They are one in a million! They are one in a million! They know it and act accordingly I sit here alone in my tree I’m an emerging
- [Ian Thorpe Was Bored](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2015/03/18/ian-thorpe-was-bored/) - Ian Thorpe was bored Of all the winning When he was swimming Here I am now he said Entertain me! They tried everything From the underwater TV Following him with Buffy To the specially ordered inflatable version Of Lord Of The Rings For him to read While he did the backstroke But nothing could put
- [I Hate Myself](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2015/03/18/i-hate-myself/) - I hate myself But if you spent this much time With the same person You would too I berate myself Punishing myself for mistakes I know I couldn’t help If I keep myself small The bullies can’t see me I segregate myself I don’t let the black and white feelings Sit together on my bus
- [Fish Finger](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2015/03/18/fish-finger/) - Just because you buy chicken Doesn’t mean you reject fish I’m a fish giving you the fish finger I’m a selfish shellfish With a short shelf life After three days I’ll start to stink Oh such a stink It’s not like you can give off fish to the chickens Cos they’ve already been eaten themselves
- [Art Hole](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2015/03/18/art-hole/) - I became an artist to try and heal the rift in my chest It fuels the art that I beat myself up for cos it’s not my best I share my art with the public I am reinstalled with praise Compliments are cut down by one criticism hangin round for days Art makes me whole
- [New singles! New album!](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2015/03/16/new-singles-new-album/) - Here are the first two cuts from 'Funemployed LP' dropping March 20. Food Is The New Rock and Roll One In a Million
- [RN's Funemployed is GO!](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2015/02/15/rns-funemployed-is-go/) - Airing Thursdays 10:30am on Books & Arts. Download the podcasts HERE. Buy the book HERE. Read about Funemployed HERE.
- [The Black Cat](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2015/03/04/the-black-cat/) - Jealousy, bitterness, intrigue. It's all there in this package from Art Day! where I read Funemployed in its entirety. RN Podcasts.
- [Funemployed: Gotye](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2015/02/24/funemployed-gotye/) - Funemployed: Fame airs Thursday at 10:30am. Wally and I discuss multiple song theory.
- [Zeitgeist! (It's German for 'Internet.')](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2015/02/19/ennui-zeitgeist/) - On a day when I perform new song 'I Hate Myself' on RN, Damian Cowell (TISM) promotes my guest spot on his track 'I Wanna Be Loved By Me.' Post by Damian Cowell.
- [RN Series starts Thursday](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2015/02/03/rn-series-starts-thursday/) - My RN series 'Funemployed' airs each Thursday from 10:30am. Episode One is Sell Yourself and featured interviews with Lawrence Mooney, Lally Katz & John Clarke. Each episode will feature a new Bedroom Philosopher song. This week it's "I'm Selling Myself." I'll be on Triple R Wednesday from 1pm and Double J Thursday from 12:30pm speaking about
- [News (27/1/15)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2015/01/26/news-221214/) - My radio series 'Funemployed' will air on RN's Books & Arts Daily from Feb 5. Each episode will contain one brand new Bedroom Philosopher song, to be compiled on a forthcoming album 'Funemployed LP' to be released Mar 20 through MGM. Dear Amanda Palmer has given Funemployed a thorough plugging on her blog. "Perfect for artists
- [NEWS (3/11/14)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2014/11/03/news-31114/) - Funemployed has almost sold out of its print run. What a gift for Christmas. You can get limited copies via the BP SHOP. Buy in November and get a FREE EP DOWNLOAD. Plus I'll personalise it to whomever you like. (The shop has expanded to include hoodies, shirts and EPs not previously available. Plus the
- [NEWS (10/8/14)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2014/08/10/news-9814/) - Funemployed is going fabuloso! There's a bunch of artist testimonials at justinheazlewood.com. It's been described as "like getting a hug" and "like getting a punch in the face." Amanda Palmer tweeted that we've both written the same book. Art is in the air. I'll be in conversation at the National Non-Fiction Festival next Sunday at
- [Pae Hoddy & Me](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2014/06/18/4219/) - Thanks to everyone whoattended the Funemployed Tour! I had a blast. It ended in Brisbane at Southside Tea Room. Here's Pae Hoddy (Th' Grates) and myself mooching by the pinnies. I recommend the shakes (as in the drink). I'll be at the Comedy Stage at Plunder In The Grass. (Thursday 7:45pm / Friday 6:45pm). Watch me
- [Northcote (So Hungover) lyrics. ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2010/03/18/northcote-so-hungover-lyrics/) - Hello. Oh hey Joel how you going? Ya. I'm just on a, uh, tram, just really hungover. Hey, you know that um, band competition we went in, So You Think You Can Copy? Yeah, we won man! Yeah we got a record contract out of it. We're with like Independent Records, they're like an off-shoot
- [I'm So Post Modern Lyrics](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2000/01/10/im-so-postmodern-lyrics/) - Click here to join the I'M SO POST MODERN LYRIC WRITING MASTERCLASS, and have a chance to write your own lyrics and have them graded by The Bedroom Philosopher himself! I'm So Post Modern by The Bedroom Philosopher I'm so postmodern that I just don't talk anymore, I wear different coloured t-shirts according to my
- [Wow Wow's Song](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2011/05/10/wow-wows-song/) - HELLO MY NAME IS WOW WOW I AM HERE TO TELL YOU SOME STORIES WHEN I’M WAKING UP I’M NOT FEELING VERY HAPPY I GO LA LA LA AND THEN I MAKE THE BREKKY WHEN I GO TO BED I AM FEELING VERY ANGRY I GO LA LA LA AND THEN I GO TO NIGH-NIGH
- [Swan Song](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2011/05/10/swan-song/) - (English translation) I had a dream That I got you pregnant And you gave birth To two black swans I wasn’t sure If we should keep them But motherly milk From your breasts secreted Two years later Which in swan years is eighteen They blew out their candles And asked us if they were adopted
- [Circus Bear](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2011/05/10/circus-bear/) - I’m a sad lonely baby Circus bear Sitting in the corner of my cage Diffusing my rage With a honey sandwich It’s circus Off season And my parents Are hibernating And I’m waiting For the show To begin They’ve relocated me Temporarily At a nearby zoo And that’s where I saw you With your funny
- [Jesus On Big Brother](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2011/05/10/jesus-on-big-brother/) - Jesus was an intruder on Big Brother As soon as he came on Two million homes around Australia Adjusted the brightness on their TV sets Within a week he’d won the house over They found him kind genuine passionate artistic And he made a divine pasta bake Out of next to nothing He cracked jokes
- [I'm So Lonely](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2011/05/10/im-so-lonely/) - I’m so lonely I spend my time playing Uno by myself I’m so lonely I only drink gin with Solo The original mood crusher On the stereo is One by U2 Followed by The Smashing Pumpkins With Zero I’m so lonely My shadow wants to start seeing other people I’m so lonely I top and
- [The Happiest Boy Lyrics](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/1997/04/15/the-happiest-boy-lyrics/) - The Happiest Boy by The Bedroom Philosopher When I was thirteen I was abducted by aliens In a sunset orange valiant with wings The aliens were friendly They communicated by break dancing They looked like a cross Between Gumby, Bjork and Richie Benaud They took me to their home planet Mars_79 It had an iced
- [My Disastrous 18th (JMag - 2007) ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2007/12/30/my-disastrous-18th-2007/) - This article was originally published in the 'Secret Lens Business' section of JMag #11. This photo, which has had its singed edges digitally repaired, is the only known evidence of the most catastrophic function in the history of Tasmanian event management – my 18th. The day started well. I already felt blessed that my birthday
- [News (12/2/12)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2012/02/12/news-12212/) - Check out a little show I made, Old Fi Lo School. The Bedroom Philosopher's High School Assembly is now on sale. I done a book. The Bedroom Philosopher Diaries. It’s a collection of tragi-comic tour reports and self-analysis from the past five years. It includes remixes of several Storytimes with tour photos and cartoons by
- [News (12/6/12)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2012/06/12/news-22312/) - The Bedroom Philosopher Diaries is now available as an Ebook HERE. I'll be playing a residency at the Wesley Anne in Melbourne, Thursdays in July. I'll be tourin' the East Coast in late August. More details soon. Limited Edition Croxton High Hoodies are now available in the BP Store. Prices have been slashed across the
- [News (1/9/13)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2013/09/01/news-11712/) - The Bedroom Philosopher Diaries has been repressed! I mean, re-pressed. It's now in the SHOP along with the fleetingly relevant 'A Very Beddy Christmas' EP. All copies sold in November will be signed. (Drop me a line to personalise for a friend/Nan/lover.) I'm layin' low while I write my book 'Funemployed,' about being an artist
- [LapTopping - 87 - "Guide Cat"](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2012/03/22/laptopping-87-guide-cat/) - LapTopping - The Bit Long, Official E-zine of The Bedroom Philosopher. March 22, 2012 Issue 87 **The Bedroom Philosopher’s High School Assembly in Melbourne Comedy Festival. Click on pic for site** STREET TEAM Want to hand out flyers or put up posters in exchange for tickets to the show? Email anthea at nibblesmusic dot com LT
- [LapTopping - 88 - "Gold Claw"](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2012/07/11/laptopping-88-gold-claw/) - LapTopping - The Bit Long, Official E-zine of The Bedroom Philosopher. July 11, 2012 ISSUE 88 **East Coast Tour, Mel/Syd/Brisbane. Click on pic for FB invite** ARTIST BOOK I’m writing a book about being an artist in Australia. If you work as a creative in any field, including producers/managers/organisations and feel passionately about the subject
- [Selling Out (Faster Louder - 2012)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2013/05/29/selling-out-faster-louder-2012/) - Comedian Bill Hicks once said any artist who participates in a commercial was "off the artistic roll call, forever." Bill was the original Gen-X soldier, declaring a war on advertising when anti-corporate sentiment was at its peak. I wonder what he’d make of today’s climate, where ‘selling out’ is something bands strive for rather than
- [July 8. Students of Sustainability Conference. University of Tasmania, Launceston campus. (solo)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2012/10/21/july-9-students-of-sustainability-conference-university-of-launceston-solo/) - Tix available at: http://studentsofsustainability.org/ (Individual day tickets are available, not just to the whole conference.)
- [July 12. Wesley Anne, Northcote. w/ The Main Guy & The Other Guys. (solo)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2012/10/20/july-12-wesley-anne-northcote-w-the-main-guy-the-other-guys-solo/) - Tickets at the door. I'll be on first - around 8:45pm I imagine.
- [July 17. Performing on Adam Hills Tonight, ABC1.](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2012/10/20/july-15-performing-on-adam-hills-tonight-abc1/)
- [August 1. Byron Bay Writers Festival, Byron Bay. (solo)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2012/10/20/1-august-byron-bay-writers-festival-byron-bay/) - Details available here: http://www.byronbaywritersfestival.com.au/v2/index.php
- [August 25. Melbourne Writers Festival. Songwriter Speaks w/ Dave Graney. Bella Union Bar, Trades Hall, Carlton.](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2012/10/19/august-25-melbourne-writers-festival/) - Songwriter Speaks: I'll be interviewed by Dave Graney while playing tunes with the Awkwardstra. Tickets: http://www.mwf.com.au/2013/?name=Writer-The-Bedroom-Philosopher
- [August 30. Zine & Indy Comics Collective launch. The Edge, Brisbane. (solo) ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2012/10/18/august-30-zine-indy-comics-collective-lunch-the-edge-brisbane/) - Details to come.
- [September 22. Wesley Anne 10th Birthday. Wesley Anne, Northcote. (solo)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2012/10/15/wesley-anne-10th-birthday-wesley-anne-solo/) - More details to come.
- [The Art of the Novelty Song (JMag - 2012)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2012/06/16/the-art-of-the-novelty-song-jmag-2012/) - All comedians want to be rockstars, all rockstars want to be comedians and everyone wants to be Flight Of The Conchords. By this theory, musical comedians should have the best of both worlds right? Yeah…nah. Musical comedy is the estranged uncle of the stand-up scene and the ‘special’ cousin of the music industry. That said,
- [News (18/1/12)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2012/01/18/news-18112/) - I have a book - The Bedroom Philosopher Diaries. You can buy it in selected stores (Sydney: Gleebooks, Avid. Melbourne: Metropolis, Paperback. More coming soon.) Or online HERE. Details on the Melbourne launch HERE. Here's my song about Australia. The Hippest 100 has been run and won. Congrats to Men Who Stare At Gotye for
- [Harold & Maude review (2012)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2012/01/14/harold-maude-review-2012/) - 1971’s Harold and Maude is a twisted coming of age story and wildly eccentric romantic comedy. Harold is a deadpan and detached young man living in a mansion with his overbearing socialite mother. His favourite game is pretending to kill himself, either by hanging, fake blood in the bath or floating facedown in the swimming
- [LapTopping - 85 - "Merry Me!"](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2011/11/29/laptopping-85-merry-me/) - Issue 85 December, 2011. **12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS VIDEO NOW STREAMING. CLICK ON SANTA TO WATCH** **A VERY BEDDY CHRISTMAS EP OUT NOW** LT BIRTHDAYS Happy Birthday Miley Cyrus 19 today! Happy Birthday Merv Hughes 50 today! WHO’S POPULAR? (likes) EMINEM - 49,129,237 RIHANNA - 47,255,788 LADY GAGA - 45,236,643 MICHAEL JACKSON - 42,478,544 JUSTIN
- [Jarred's Letter](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2011/11/21/jarreds-letter/) - Dear Santa For Christmas I’d like a trampoline And a Mr Fixem’s tool set from Bunnings How are your elves? Are there any girl elves? I’ll leave you out some milk and biscuits I hope you like barbecue shapes At school Kurt said you weren’t real So I pushed him into a bush Dad’s gone
- [Jingle Hell](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2011/11/21/jingle-hell/) - Jingle hell Jingle hell Jingles go away Oh how glum I am to ride In a Daihatsu charade Hey Jingle hell jingle hell Advertising’s in my brain So not fun there’s nowhere to hide In the Chadstone mall today Dashing through the streets In my Daihatsu charade Over Punt road I go Swearing all the
- [Little Drama Boy](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2011/11/21/little-drama-boy/) - Drunk I am on Bundaberg rum Shitfaced and skint at the Dandenong pub In my finest jeans I wee Bundaburg rum Might lie down or have a dim sim Na na na…gu gu gu…get fucked So I had a few Bundaberg rums On my bum Marnie baby Ay Ay come over here C’mon What…nah nah
- [Deck The Kids](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2011/11/21/deck-the-kids/) - Deck the kids and get obsessive (Fa La La…) Tis the season to be passive aggressive (Fa La La…) Frown I now at this gay apparel (Fa La La…) I wish Mum would shop at American Apparel (Fa La La…)
- [Presents](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2011/11/21/presents/) - Open your presents and what do you see It’s a Backstreet Boys tour DVD Open your presents and what do you get You get a Pirates Of The Caribbean Lego set Open your presents and what do you want You want a massage voucher and a nice sauv blanc Open your presents and what do
- [12 Days of Christmas](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2011/11/21/12-days-of-christmas/) - On the first day of Christmas my ex girlfriend sent to me The cartridge from a 303 Two purple thumbs Three French hit men Four appalling turds Five mouldy things Six geese decaying Seven swans a swimming (in blood) Eight maids a milking (at gunpoint) Nine ladies dancing (in their own filth) Ten druglords a
- [News (11/11/11)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2011/11/11/news-19711/) - * I've been busy smashing out a Christmas EP and new video. They'll be released very soon. A book of tour diaries is on its way too. I'm playing in Brisbane this weekend (Harvest / Livewired), then a residency at the Northcote Social Club Tuesdays in December. * here is a video of me saying
- [LapTopping - 84 - "Delicate Lesson in the Delicatessen"](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2011/07/19/laptopping-84-delicate-lesson-in-the-delicatessen/) - ----------------------------------------------------------------------- LapTopping – The Bit Long, Official E-zine of The Bedroom Philosopher ----------------------------------------------------------------------- **Head Sex & Bed Socks National Solo Tour AUG/SEP** ISSUE 84 Tuesday July 19, 2011 ----------------------------------------------------------------------- LT BIRTHDAYS Happy Birthday Shaun Micallef 49 yesterday! Happy Birthday Andrew Stockdale (Wolfmother) 35 tomorrow! Happy Birthday Marcia Hines 58 tomorrow! ----------------------------------------------------------------------- MERCHKATEERS WANTED If you’d
- [News (24/6/11)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2011/06/24/news-25511/) - * I presented a story about op shops on ABC's Collectors last Friday. Watch me walk towards the camera and talk at the SAME TIME here! * The High School Assembly was a massive success! Thanks to all those who rocked up. Click HERE for a video of me busting out 'We Are Tramily' with
- [LapTopping - 83 - "Mighty Douche" ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2011/05/26/laptopping-83-mighty-douche/) - ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------------- LapTopping – The Bit Long, Official E-zine of The Bedroom Philosopher ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ISSUE 83 Thursday May 26, 2011 **The Bedroom Philosopher's High School Assembly. Thornbury Theatre, Melbourne. June 24** ----------------------------------------------------------------------- LT BIRTHDAYS Happy Birthday Helene Bonham Carter 45 today! Happy Birthday Lenny Kravitz 47 today! Happy Birthday Stevie Nicks 63 today! -----------------------------------------------------------------------
- [Thank God For Mental Illness (Frankie - 2011)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2011/05/12/thank-god-for-mental-illness-frankie-2011/) - After watching the music documentary Dig! I was checking out The Brian Jones Town Massacre. Wild front-man Anton Newcombe had called their 1996 release Thank God For Mental Illness and the title fascinated me. It was about the most audacious thing I’d ever seen. Who would dare celebrate mental illness in anyway? Mental illness was
- [Karma Comedian (The Big Issue - 2011)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2011/05/12/karma-comedian-the-big-issue-2011/) - When people ask me what I do I’m reluctant to say “comedian.” The job-title carries with it certain social ramifications. In Australia, the land of the larrikin, it seems such an audacious claim. Mate I know everyone’s a comedian, but I’m foolish enough to expect someone to pay for my services. When I do own
- [What Is Cool? (Frankie - 2011)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2011/05/12/what-is-cool-frankie-2010/) - Computer says that Cool began in Africa in the 15th century when a tribal leader began wearing an expressionless mask not only during times of stress, but also in times of pleasure. It was dubbed “mystic coolness”. This “artistically conscious interweaving of serious and play” evolved through the African Americans who brought it to the
- [30 Day Negativity Challenge (Frankie - 2011)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2011/05/12/negativity-frankie-2010/) - On December 12 I was given the challenge not to say anything negative or bitch about anyone for thirty days. When I heard about this I cried. When I told my close friends they laughed. It was like challenging a sportsman not to state the obvious or a teenager not to use the word ‘like.’
- [McRock](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2011/05/10/mcrock/) - Listen up punks And eliminate the crap I’m a marketing major And this is where it’s at If you’re looking for a place To invest your corporate dollar Music is the industry To which I’d point and holler Connect your game To a band’s success and fame They’ve the goods the looks the sound And
- [Leaving My Hairdresser](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2011/05/10/leaving-my-hairdresser-2/) - You know sometimes you’ve got to make a change (Yeah) You’ve got to get up and walk away (Yeah) Find someone new (Yeah) Find someone who cuts you real good (Huh?) Introducing the whitest man alive The Bedroom Philosopher Man when I first came to your salon You gave me the personal touch Made me
- [Old Man At End](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2011/05/10/old-man-at-end/) - I’m comin to the end of my tram ride Not just talkin about Telstra Dome I’m about to check in with the big tram inspector in the sky When I get up there He’s gonna ask me if I’ve got a ticket I’m gonna say my friend My ticket is the lines on my face
- [New Media](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2011/05/10/new-media/) - I work in New Media I’m pretty damn important Don’t ask me to explain what I do I don’t work with words Have you ever heard of sound art? I sincerely doubt you have Some awful fax machine noises Going backwards A cat on a piano Dad calls it self unemployment I call it being
- [In My Day (Nan)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2011/05/10/in-my-day-nan/) - In my day we used to walk to school Five miles in the snow Cocaine was everywhere In my day we ate toast from a can From Japan In my day when it was cold father’d hop into bed with you And set fire to his beard In my day children were seen but not
- [Man On A Tram](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2011/05/10/man-on-a-tram/) - Hello? Yeah I am Just on a tram Man on a tram Man on a tram I am Man on a tram with a plan Called Stan from Prahran From Prahran I am Talking bout shares Getting lots of stares No one really cares My voice really blares Big tram slow tram Do you want
- [Tram Inspector](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2011/05/10/tram-inspector/) - Baby I’m the tram inspector My heart is a lie detector Buy a ticket I will respect ya Fare evade I will eject ya C’mon baby don’t make it hard Show me your concession card No use making no excuses I’m the boy no girl seduces Have you been a naughty girl? Have you been
- [Irish Girl](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2011/05/10/irish-girl/) - Dear god thank you for blessing us with this beautiful day A day of which I'll see none of as I go to work onboard a packed tram After four hours sleep thanks to my hippy neighbours impromptu bush doof Reconciled with an apology note written in the dust On the back window of my
- [Trishine](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2011/05/10/trishine/) - Words can get fucked They can’t explain my love for you Feelings and shit and that and yeah nah and so forth My heart’s been kicked out of bounds on the full Words are shithouse The alphabet’s a poof I’ve cried till my eyes are as dry as a dead dingo's donga Seems years since
- [Sudanese](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2011/05/10/sudanese/) - I come from a place very far away Footscray I moved there to escape a place of great poverty and violence Collingwood I like Melbourne but feel that I am judged by my colour The colour of my scarf I went with red and black But it is the same here as in my homeland
- [We Are Tramily](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2011/05/10/we-are-tramily/) - Welcome to the 86 Next stop dodge town Look around gee what a kerfuffle It's like god took Melbourne And just hit shuffle It's all Dunlop volleys 10am long necks No crims But a long list of suspects Punks and geeks Asians greeks Hipster derelict Guest Kiwi of the week T to the RAM to
- [Middle Aged Mum](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2011/05/10/middle-aged-mum/) - I’m not sure this is the direction I wanted to be going in And I’m not just talking about Preston Gregory seems so distant granted he's in Iraq I never should’ve talked him into expanding his filled potato business All the children are grown up And I don’t know if they need their mama anymore
- [The Heart Song](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2011/05/10/the-heart-song/) - I left my heart in my pocket Now it’s gone all through the wash I left my heart on the couch Now it’s covered in cat hair and pretzel bits I left my heart on the bus No one wanted to sit next to it I left my heart at a primary school It came
- [Happy Cow](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2011/05/10/happy-cow/) - I’m feeling awkward Like a budgie Sitting on Sandra Sully’s head As she reads the news About something Quite devastating Perhaps an earthquake And I don’t know where to look I’m feeling insecure Like an emu Hosting the Oscars For the first time Trying to read The nominations But just pecking The microphone I’m feeling
- [Everybody's Got The Same Insecurities As You](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2011/05/10/everybodys-got-the-same-insecurities-as-you/) - I had a crush on a girl in Grade twelve Thought she was a snob Too good for me It turns out That she was just shy She thought I was too cool Too cool for her Turns out She didn’t like me anyway In that way But that’s not the point I’m trying to
- [Saving Myself For Marriage](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2011/05/10/saving-myself-for-marriage/) - You want to know what turns me on (What turns you on) Hot (Hot what?) Cups of tea (Fair enough) And something sweet On toast (Jam) Late at night Ooh flannel (Ooh flannel) On skin Getting into my jarmies (Yeah) Late at night And jiggling them Over my bum (Yeah good on ya) Going to
- [You're So Vague](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2011/05/10/youre-so-vague/) - (NOTE: This track omitted on recent albums due to copyright worries) You walked into the room Like you were walking into outer space Conversations are via satellite With a ten second delay You stand in the kitchen Just to work out why you are there And then you go to put the Milk in the
- [High On Life](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2011/05/10/high-on-life/) - The closest I get to taking an E Is reaching into the Scrabble bag The closest I get to any heroin Is watching The Princess Bride I'm a frequent pot smoker But only when I overcook The mashed potatoes I'm high on life And Mum's my dealer The first eighteen years are free And then
- [Megan The Vegan (Reprise)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2011/05/10/megan-the-vegan-reprise/) - All I ask is that you look after you All I ask is that your reasons are right All I ask is that you do the research All I ask is that your iron levels are up « Back to In Bed With My Doona lyrics
- [Love Theme From Centrelink](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2011/05/10/love-theme-from-centrelink/) - This morning I woke With a feeling of dread From the holes in my socks To my doona-do head I had a PM breakfast Did my hair with a hat Found some old sunnies And let out the cat (out you go Siobahn) I track panted my way down the street Gave a busker a
- [The Song About The Puppy With The Nappy](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2011/05/10/the-song-about-the-puppy-with-the-nappy/) - Someone needs to rub my snotty little nose in red wine The puppy did a wee puppy did a wee puppy did a wee But it did didn’t mean to Puppy did a wee Puppy don’t know what it’s doing Puppy what you’re doing Puppy put a nappy on baby Yo puppy put a nappy
- [I'm So Post Modern's Cute Nerdy Sister](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2011/05/10/im-so-post-moderns-cute-nerdy-sister/) - I’m so post modern I refuse to play this song live Instead I play Creep By Radiohead I’m so post modern I put glad wrap on the toilet Poke it full of holes And gatecrash show and tells I’m so post modern that I remembered your birthday Reported you missing And told the police to
- [Marjory](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2011/05/10/marjory/) - Marjory Why are your pantaloons Blowing in the wind? Marjory Please find all the pieces to my Lego set I’m erect Marjory Help me save the world You’re like cordial That needs no water You’re like cordial « Back to Folkstar / I’m So Post Modern lyrics
- [What Am I Supposed To Be Doing?](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2011/05/10/what-am-i-supposed-to-be-doing/) - Eleven AM I wake up Twelve PM I’m still stuck On the edge of my bed Like a hood ornament in pyjamas I should have a shower or breakfast at least But I think we’re out of milk and there’s only crusts left And I don’t want anymore hairs on my chest I know I
- [Party In My Head](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2011/05/10/party-in-my-head/) - (Purple monkey dishwasher) There’s a party in my head Not everyone’s invited It’s supposed to be a small gathering Of my best emotions But confidence insisted On inviting along modesty And they’re friends with insecurity so now Every fucking inner loser is here Awkwardness asks intellect What she does at uni Cynicism makes fun Of
- [Strange Piece of Music](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2011/05/10/strange-piece-of-music/) - Stuff’s gone bung In my lifearooni But I’ll bounce back Cos I’m cool Shit’s hit the fan I’m my own number one fan I’m also my own stalker I know my pin number **** I like love I love hate I hate like I hate everything I love I like everything I like I can’t
- [NY, NY (2010)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2011/04/08/ny-ny-2010/) - “The city that never sleeps.” I recently went for a holiday in New York. My first impression was that it’s also the city that never showers. With a population of eight million, the city’s rubbish collecting infrastructure is weak. There’s no space for alleyway skips, so small mountains of garbage bags line the sidewalk. Garbage-mountain
- [The Birds & The Bees (Frankie - 2010)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2011/04/08/how-i-discovered-the-birds-the-bees-frankie-2010/) - The foggy universe of my childhood’s psycho-sexual development was filled with everything from cousin flashing, beanbag humping, Madonna filmclips and vaginal graffiti through to my first official fantasy of the princess from The Never Ending Story lying on top of me, putting her mouth on mine. At age seven, Mum sat me down to tell
- [Anti-Computer (Frankie - 2010)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2011/04/08/anti-computer-frankie-2010/) - Hundreds of years ago, Mothers would warn their children about getting square eyes from sitting too close to the telly. These days, the old wives tale has updated itself to contracting Oblong Eyes from computer abuse. The average Australian spends 75% of their time in front of a computer screen. (source: poor journalism). Here are
- [Short Shorts For Men (Frankie - 2010)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2011/04/08/short-shorts-for-men-2010/) - To the menfolk of Australia. Quick, we haven’t got much time. While your girl’s in the shower I need to tell you a few things, man to man. Turn off the TV. I DON’T CARE IF FUZZY FROM VH IS TALKING! Right, I want to talk about legs. Namely, yours. Tell me - this summer,
- [Family Ain't a Holiday, funny (JMag - 2010)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2011/04/08/family-aint-a-holiday-funny-2010/) - At the end of each year, many young Australians make the pilgrimage back to their family homes. Here, they try and assimilate with their parents and grandparents, whom are more or less middle-age frenemies they have nothing in common with. Before entering the weatherboard compound, the subject is forced to undergo a strict quarantine procedure
- [Family Ain't a Holiday, straight (Frankie - 2010)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2011/04/08/family-aint-a-holiday-straight-2010/) - Each year, as I become more self conscious and weird, it becomes harder and harder to relax at home. I touchdown in Tasmania a burnt out husk, declare my tears at customs and am bundled into the back of Mum's Kia feeling like an overgrown teenager with improved vocabulary and fashion. This year, my home
- [News 5/04/11](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2011/04/04/news-50411/) - • I’ve been selected to perform in the Melbourne Comedy Festival gala, to be screened on Ch. 10 April 4. Bonza. • I performed Calypso by Spiderbait on Adam Hills’ show. You can see it HERE. http://www.abc.net.au/tv/adamhillsIGST/stories/s3159480.htm • I’ve released four columns about the whys and wherefores of being a stand-up. You can find them
- [LapTopping - 82 - "Prehysteric"](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2011/04/04/laptopping-82-prehysteric/) - ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------------- LapTopping – The Bit Long, Official E-zine of The Bedroom Philosopher ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------------- **NEW SHOW WIT-BIX IN MELBOURNE COMEDY LOLapalooza** ISSUE 82 Sunday March 27, 2011 ----------------------------------------------------------------------- LT BIRTHDAYS Happy Birthday Quentin Tarantino 48 today! Happy Birthday Fergie 36 today! ----------------------------------------------------------------------- TINY LEGENDS Moments that fell down the back of the couch From
- [Mar 31st to Apr 24th - Wit-Bix. Melbourne International Comedy Festival ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2011/03/05/wit-bix-melbourne-international-comedy-festival-trades-hall-mar-31-apr-24-no-mon/) - Melbourne International Comedy Festival Dates: 31 March - 24 April Times: Tue-Sat 9.30pm, Sun 8.30pm Duration: 60 minutes Venue: Trades Hall - New Ballroom, Cnr Lygon & Victoria Sts, Carlton MORE INFORMATION AND BOOKINGS HERE
- [News (18/1/12)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2011/01/18/news-231111/) - * A version of Northcote (So Hungover) made up of YouTube comments. * I supported the Dresden Dolls nationally in January. It was glorious. * Twitter, happier, more productive. * Tram Inspector finished #19 in Rage's Top 50 videos for 2011. Thanks to everyone who voted. * Here is my Christmas Message. * My new Christmas
- [6th March 2011 - Headlining 'Livewired' at Brisbane Powerhouse](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2011/01/14/headlining-livewired-at-brisbane-powerhouse-newfarm-qld/) - Newfarm, QLD
- [10th Feb 2011 - Headlining 'Mic In Hand' at Friend in Hand Hotel, Glebe. NSW.](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2011/01/14/headlining-mic-in-hand-at-friend-in-hand-hotel-glebe-nsw/)
- [LapTopping - 81 - "Old Fi Lo School"](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2011/01/14/laptopping-81-old-fi-lo-school/) - ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------------- LapTopping – The Bit Long, Official E-zine of The Bedroom Philosopher ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------------- **VOTE FOR NORTHCOTE IN HOTTEST 100 BEFORE SUNDAY** **NEW SHOW WIT-BIX IN ADELAIDE FRINGE / MELBOURNE COMEDY FESTIVALS** ISSUE 81 Friday January 14, 2011 ----------------------------------------------------------------------- LT BIRTHDAYS Happy Birthday Jason Bateman 42 today! Happy Birthday LL Cool J 43 today!
- [NEWS 14/1/11](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2011/01/14/news-14111/) - Amanda Palmer is a fan of ‘Northcote,’ and has invited me to rap over her ‘Map of Tasmania’ track at an Adelaide Fringe show March 2. • I’ll be performing a new show ‘Wit-Bix’ in Adelaide Whinge and Melbourne Irrational Comedy Festivals respectively. Big rooms. No more sweating. Tickets are on sale here ADELAIDE /
- [Feb 18 to Mar 1 - Wit-Bix. Adelaide Fringe Festival](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2011/01/05/wit-bix-adelaide-fringe-festival-tuxedo-cat-feb-18-mar-1-no-wed/) - Tuxedo Cat. No Wednesdays
- [16th December 2010 - Supporting Dan Kelly @ Federation Square](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2010/12/15/supporting-dan-kelly-federation-square-with-band-free/) - With band. Free.
- [21st December 2010 - Residency w/ The Awkwardstra @ Northcote Social Club](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2010/11/29/december-residency-w-the-awkwardstra-northcote-social-club-special-guest-scott-edgar-the-universe-northcotesocialclub-com/) - Special Guest Scott Edgar & The Universe. northcotesocialclub.com
- [14th December 2010 - Residency w/ The Awkwardstra @ Northcote Social Club](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2010/11/29/december-residency-w-the-awkwardstra-northcote-social-club-special-guest-giles-field-15-plus-b-f-or-20-door-northcotesocialclub-com/) - Special Guest Giles Field. $15 plus b.f. or $20 door. northcotesocialclub.com
- [7th December 2010 - Residency w/ The Awkwardstra @ Northcote Social Club](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2010/11/29/december-residency-w-the-awkwardstra-northcote-social-club-special-guest-josh-earl-15-plus-b-f-or-20-door-northcotesocialclub-com/) - Special Guest Josh Earl. $15 plus b.f. or $20 door. northcotesocialclub.com
- [News 30/10/10](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2010/10/30/news-301010/) - Vote for Northcote in the Hottest 100 HERE. ‎1. Seriously thanks to all who came to the residencies. 2. Merry festive and a Christmas new things. 3. Vote for Northcote in the Hottest 100. 4. Not voting for anyone else is like voting twice. 5. Peace & tinsel. • I appeared on ABC’s Collectors Friday
- [LapTopping - 80 - "Matey Six"](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2010/10/30/laptopping-80-matey-six/) - ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------------- LapTopping – The Bit Long, Official E-zine of The Bedroom Philosopher ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ISSUE 80 Saturday October 30, 2010 ----------------------------------------------------------------------- LT BIRTHDAYS Happy Birthday Edge 37 today! (Canadian pro wrestler, not to be mistaken with ‘The Edge.’) Happy Birthday Garry McDonald 62 today! Happy Birthday Henry Winkler 65 today! ----------------------------------------------------------------------- FREAKING GIFT IDEAS
- [2nd Jan 2010 - Southbound Festival, W.A. (solo)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2010/09/14/southbound-festival-w-a-solo/)
- [31st December 2010 - Falls Festival, Marion Bay. (solo)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2010/09/14/falls-festival-marion-bay-solo/)
- [30th December 2010 - Falls Festival, Lorne. (solo)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2010/09/14/falls-festival-lorne-solo/)
- [27th December 2010 - Woodford Folk Festival, Woodford. (solo)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2010/09/14/woodford-folk-festival-woodford-solo/)
- [27th Nov 2010 - Queenscliff Music Festival, Queenscliff. (solo)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2010/09/14/queenscliff-music-festival-queenscliff-solo/)
- [9th Oct 2010 - Live On The Tracks (with Awkwardstra) Cnr Bourke and Swanston Street](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2010/09/14/rockin-the-rails-performing-on-tramstrains-around-melbourne-solo-3/) - Outside Target Melbourne CBD
- [4th Oct 2010 - Live on the tracks. Tram Route #86](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2010/09/14/rockin-the-rails-performing-on-tramstrains-around-melbourne-solo-2/) - Boarding: Docklands Drive/ Waterfront City. (Playing album in its entirety).
- [29th Nov 2010 - Rockin' The Rails. ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2010/09/14/rockin-the-rails-performing-on-tramstrains-around-melbourne-solo/) - Cnr Bourke and Swanston Street, Melbourne.
- [24th Nov 2010 - Preston Markets, Preston (as duo). ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2010/09/14/preston-markets-preston-as-duo/)
- [11th Nov 2010 - Supporting Peter Combe @ RATS, Old Colonial Hotel, Fitzroy. ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2010/09/08/supporting-peter-combe-rats-old-colonial-hotel-fitzroy/)
- [News 9/8/10](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2010/08/10/news-9810/) - Songs From The 86 Tram has been nominated for an ARIA - Best Comedy Release. It's up against Andrew Hanson (The Chaser), Heath Franklin (Chopper), Jimeoin and Arj Barker. Winners announced November 7. The 86 Tram tour was a blazing triumph. Sold out Melbourne & Brisbane shows! Diary pending. • The Northcote (So Hungover) video
- [LapTopping - 79 - "Mother Mirth"](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2010/08/10/laptopping-79-mother-mirth/) - ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------------- LapTopping – The Bit Long, Official E-zine of The Bedroom Philosopher ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ISSUE 79 Monday August 9, 2010 **National tour start this week. Click HERE to pre-book** **Invite your Facebook friends HERE** ----------------------------------------------------------------------- LT BIRTHDAYS Happy Birthday Audrey Tatou 32 today! Happy Birthday Hulk Hogan 57 Wednesday! ----------------------------------------------------------------------- HOW TO HELP ME
- [5th Sept 2010 - Northcote Social Club, Melbourne](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2010/08/08/northcote-social-club-melbourne-w-the-awkwardstra-the-boat-people-go-go-sapien-see-front-page-for-ticketing-link/) - w/ The Awkwardstra + The Boat People + Go-Go Sapien
- [Love (Frankie - 2010)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2010/07/09/love-frankie-2010/) - Did you know that every thirteen minutes a relationship in Australia ends? Statistics tell us that only 5% of these relationships will end cleanly. The majority will haemorrhage into heaving silence with one staring into space and the other in tears. Sentences will get said: “I don't know what I feel any more. I just
- [News 8/7/10](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2010/07/09/news-8710/) - National Tour Aug/Sep on sale now, click HERE to pre-book. • The Northcote (So Hungover) video is viralling out of control. It’s been Rage and Channel V videos of the week and will be aired on Video Hits this Saturday and Sunday. On the tubes it’s nearing 40K views and going strong. Feedback has been
- [LapTopping - 78 - "Chamomile High Club" ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2010/07/09/laptopping-78-chamomile-high-club/) - ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------------- LapTopping – The Bit Long, Official E-zine of The Bedroom Philosopher ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ISSUE 78 Thursday July 8, 2010 **National album tour AUG/SEP now on sale. Click HERE.** **Northcote video airing on Video Hits this weekend** ----------------------------------------------------------------------- LT BIRTHDAYS Happy Birthday my dear Nan, Edna Heazlewood 84 today! Happy Birthday my dear Beck!
- [4th Sept 2010 - Northcote Social Club, Melbourne ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2010/06/16/northcote-social-club-melbourne-w-the-awkwardstra-the-boat-people-see-front-page-for-ticketing-link/) - (w/ The Awkwardstra + The Boat People + Pinky Beecroft) SOLD OUT!
- [3rd Sept 2010 - The Palais, Hepburn Springs ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2010/06/16/the-palais-hepburn-springs-w-the-awkwardstra-the-boat-people-see-front-page-for-ticketing-link/) - (w/ The Awkwardstra + The Boat People + Pinky Beecroft)
- [2nd Sept 2010 - The National Hotel, Geelong](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2010/06/16/the-national-hotel-geelong-w-the-awkwardstra-the-boat-people-see-front-page-for-ticketing-link/) - (w/ The Awkwardstra + The Boat People + Pinky Beecroft)
- [29th Aug 2010 - The Great Northern, Byron Bay ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2010/06/16/the-great-northern-byron-bay-w-the-awkwardstra-the-boat-people-see-front-page-for-ticketing-link/) - (w/ The Awkwardstra & The Boat People)
- [1st Sept 2010 - Kerova Lounge, Ballarat](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2010/06/16/kerova-lounge-ballarat-w-the-awkwardstra-the-boat-people-see-front-page-for-ticketing-info/) - (w/ The Awkwardstra + The Boat People + Pinky Beecroft)
- [29th Aug 2010 - The Old Museum, Brisbane](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2010/06/16/the-old-museum-brisbane-all-ages-w-the-awkwardstra-the-boat-people-see-below-for-ticketing-link/) - (all ages w/ The Awkwardstra & The Boat People)
- [28th Aug 2010 - The Troubadour, Brisbane ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2010/06/16/the-troubadour-brisbane-w-the-awkwardstra-the-boat-people-see-below-for-ticketing-link/) - (w/ The Awkwardstra & The Boat People + Pinky Beecroft)
- [27th Aug 2010 - Rocket Room, Northbridge](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2010/06/16/rocket-room-northbridge-w-the-awkwardstra-see-below-for-ticketing-link/) - (w/ The Awkwardstra + Gilroy & The Cold Shoulders + Stereo Flower)
- [26th Aug 2010 - Prince Of Wales, Bunbury](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2010/06/16/prince-of-wales-bunbury-w-the-awkwardstra-see-below-for-ticketing-link/) - (w/ The Awkwardstra + Gilroy & The Cold Shoulders)
- [25th Aug 2010 - Indi Bar, Scarborough](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2010/06/16/indi-bar-scarborough-w-the-awkwardstra-see-below-for-ticketing-link/) - (w/ The Awkwardstra + Gilroy & The Cold Shoulders + Stereo Flower)
- [22nd Aug 2010 - The Brass Monkey, Cronulla](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2010/06/16/the-brass-monkey-cronulla-w-the-awkwardstra-the-boat-people-see-below-for-ticketing-link/) - (w/ The Awkwardstra & The Boat People) See front page for ticketing link.
- [21st Aug 2010 - The Northern Star, Newcastle](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2010/06/16/the-northern-star-newcastle-w-the-awkwardstra-the-boat-people-see-below-for-ticketing-link/) - (w/ The Awkwardstra + The Boat People + Pinky Beecroft)
- [20th Aug 2010 - The Factory, Sydney](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2010/06/16/the-factory-sydney-all-ages-w-the-awkwardstra-the-boat-people-see-below-for-ticketing-link/) - (all ages w/ The Awkwardstra + The Boat People + Pinky Beecroft) See front page for ticketing link.
- [19th Aug 2010 - Harpe Hotel, Wollongong](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2010/06/16/harpe-hotel-wollongong-w-the-awkwardstra-the-boat-people-see-below-for-ticketing-link/) - (w/ The Awkwardstra + The Boat People + Pinky Beecroft) See front page for ticketing link.
- [18th Aug 2010 - ANU Bar, Canberra](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2010/06/16/anu-bar-canberra-w-the-awkwardstra-the-boat-people-see-below-for-ticketing-link/) - (w/ The Awkwardstra & The Boat People) See front page for ticketing link.
- [15th Aug 2010 - Burnie Arts Centre](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2010/06/16/burnie-arts-centre-all-ages-w-the-awkwardstra-see-below-for-ticketing-link/) - (all ages w/ The Awkwardstra + The Stoics) See front page for ticketing link.
- [14th Aug 2010 - Brisbane Hotel, Hobart](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2010/06/16/brisbane-hotel-hobart-w-the-awkwardstra-see-below-for-ticketing-link/) - (w/ The Awkwardstra + Pinky Beecroft) See front page for ticketing link.
- [14th Aug 2010 - Brisbane Hotel, Hobart ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2010/06/16/brisbane-hotel-hobart-all-ages-w-the-awkwardstra-see-below-for-ticketing-link/) - (all ages w/ The Awkwardstra + Pinky Beecroft). See front page for ticketing link.
- [13th Aug 2010 - Hotel New York, Launceston ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2010/06/16/hotel-new-york-launceston-w-the-awkwardstra-see-below-for-ticketing-link/) - (w/ The Awkwardstra + Pinky Beecroft) See front page for ticketing link.
- [12th Aug 2010 - Jive Bar, Adelaide ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2010/06/16/jive-bar-adelaide-w-the-awkwardstra-the-boat-people-for-all-ticket-info-click-here/) - (w/ The Awkwardstra + Cookie Baker + Guillaume Soloacoustic) See front page for ticketing link.
- [5th Jun 2010 - Northcote (So Hungover) Video Launch](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2010/05/28/northcote-so-hungover-video-launch-newtown-workers-club-2pm/) - Newtown Workers Club. 2pm.
- [23rd May 2010 - In-Store (solo) at Pure Pop Records](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2010/05/10/in-store-solo-at-pure-pop-records-221-barkly-st-st-kilda/) - 221 Barkly St, St Kilda.
- [LapTopping - 77 - "Where It's @"](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2010/04/25/laptopping-77-where-its/) - ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------------- LapTopping – The Bit Long, Official E-zine of The Bedroom Philosopher ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ISSUE 77 Sunday April 25, 2010 **Songs From The 86 Tram album out now** **Northcote single tour kicks off this week** ----------------------------------------------------------------------- LT BIRTHDAYS Happy Birthday Rene Zellweger 41 today! Happy Birthday Hank Azaria 46 today! Happy Birthday Al Pacino
- [News 25/4/10](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2010/04/25/news-25410/) - Northcote video of the week on Channel V and Indie Of The Week on Rage! It'll also be shown on Video Hits this Saturday and Sunday morning. See it HERE! Click HERE to see me on Nova. Click HERE to read a track by track of 'Songs From The 86 Tram' on Mess & Noise.
- [30th April 2010 - View Factory Cafe, Newcastle (solo) ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2010/04/05/view-factory-cafe-newcastle-solo-w-josh-earl-8pm-scott-st-newcastle/) - w/ Josh Earl. Scott St, Newcastle.
- [News 27/3/10](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2010/03/27/970/) - Songs From The 86 Tram out now! Flick through indie at yr local record shop. Thanks to all who rocked up to Songs From The 86 Tram at the Comedy Festival. I had a blinder, pretty much selling out the whole run. You can read my psychological synopsis of being a comedian HERE. Ya, so
- [LapTopping - 76 - "Maggi Happens"](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2010/03/27/laptopping-76-maggi-happens/) - ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------------- LapTopping – The Bit Long, Official E-zine of The Bedroom Philosopher ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ISSUE 76 Monday March 22, 2010 **Songs From The 86 Tram at Melbourne International Comedy Festival Starts Thursday. Click HERE to book** **Album out April 16 through Shock** ----------------------------------------------------------------------- LT BIRTHDAYS Happy Birthday Reese Witherspoon 34 today! Happy Birthday William
- [LapTopping - 75 - "Marigold Atlas"](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2010/02/23/laptopping-75-marigold-atlas/) - ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------------- LapTopping – The Bit Long, Official E-zine of The Bedroom Philosopher ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ISSUE 75 Monday February 8, 2010 ----------------------------------------------------------------------- LT BIRTHDAYS Happy Birthday Seth Green 36 today! Happy Birthday Alonzo Mourning 40 today! Happy Birthday Garry Coleman 42 today! ----------------------------------------------------------------------- AUSTRALIAN FILM NEWS Inspired by the success of Where The Wild Things
- [News 10/2/2010](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2010/02/10/news-10210/) - NOTE: Northcote (So Hungover) is temporarily down from iTunes so the album can be uploaded April 16. Northcote (So Hungover) was the most requested song on JJJ's Super Requests last week! Also I won the Green Room award for 'Best Cabaret Production' for Songs From The 86 Tram. * 'Tram Inspector' the first single from
- [9th May 2010 - Brisbane Powerhouse (solo). ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2010/02/07/livewired-comedy-brisbane-powerhouse-solo-newfarm-brisbane-free-note-early-start/) - Newfarm, Brisbane. Free.
- [7th May 2010 - Royal Oak (solo) ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2010/02/07/royal-oak-solo-w-josh-earl-launceston-tasmania-12/) - w/ Josh Earl. Launceston, Tasmania. $12.
- [6th May 2010 - Alley Cat (solo) ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2010/02/07/alley-cat-solo-w-josh-earl-north-hobart-tasmania-12/) - w/ Josh Earl. North Hobart, Tasmania. $12.
- [5th May 2010 - Grace Emily (solo) ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2010/02/07/grace-emily-solo-w-josh-earl-12-waymouth-st-adelaide/) - w/ Josh Earl. $12. Waymouth St, Adelaide.
- [29th April 2010 - The Vanguard (solo) ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2010/02/07/the-vanguard-solo-w-josh-earl-as-part-of-sydney-comedy-festival-tickets-1512-on-door-4-more-if-you-pre-book-king-st-newtown/) - w/ Josh Earl (as part of Sydney Comedy Festival). Tickets $15 on door ($4 more if you pre-book). King St, Newtown.
- [28th April 2010 - The Front Cafe (solo) ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2010/02/07/the-front-cafe-solo-w-josh-earl-lyneham-a-c-t-8pm-12/) - w/ Josh Earl. Lyneham, A.C.T. $12.
- [18th Feb 2010 - Mic In Hand @ Vibe](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2010/02/07/mic-in-hand-vibe-smith-st-collingwood-melbourne-10/) - Smith St Collingwood, Melbourne. $10.
- [17th Feb 2010 - Comic Strip (Stand-up and burlesque) @ new venue Red Bennies](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2010/02/07/comic-strip-stand-up-and-burlesque-new-venue-red-bennies-south-yarra-melbourne/) - South Yarra, Melbourne.
- [8th Feb 2010 - Local Laughs @ Local Taphouse](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2010/02/07/local-laughs-local-taphouse-balaclava-12/) - Balaclava. $12
- [28th to 30th Jan 2010 - Sydney Comedy Store 'Rock n LOL' ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2010/01/12/sydney-comedy-store-rock-n-lol-w-smart-casual-axis-of-awesome-fox-studios-bookings-www-comedystore-com-au-3/) - w/ Smart Casual / Axis of Awesome. Fox Studios. Bookings: www.comedystore.com.au
- [News 12/1/2010](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2010/01/12/news-12-1-2010/) - Request new track 'Northcote (So Hungover) on JJJ's Super Requests HERE. Tram Inspector single of the week in Inpress: "....The Bedroom Philosopher's hysterical skewering of meat-headed ticketing inspectors falls somewhere between a Fame-era Bowie slink and inspirational Hunners balladry. I like my musical comedy to, as the name suggests, be musically captivating first, funny second.
- [LapTopping - 74 - "Short Shorts"](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2010/01/12/laptopping-74-short-shorts/) - ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------------- LapTopping – The Bit Long, Official E-zine of The Bedroom Philosopher ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ISSUE 74 Monday November 30, 2009 ----------------------------------------------------------------------- LT BIRTHDAYS Happy Birthday Garry Shandling 60 yesterday! Happy Birthday Ben Stiller 44 today! Happy Birthday Billy Idol 54 today! ----------------------------------------------------------------------- AUSTRALIAN TOWN NAMES AND MEANINGS Coolamon – Traditional term of approval used
- [Vintage! Vintage! Vintage! (Frankie - 2009)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2009/11/12/vintage-vintage-vintage-frankie-2009/) - Press stud check shirts and three piece flared suits Art Deco prints and mod Beatle boots vintage scrabble with no pieces missing a few of my favourite second hand things. Ah yes, like Scrooge McDuck used to flap wildly about in his columns of cash, the modern young thing can interpretive dance around shelves of
- [Wind In The Pillows (Frankie - 2009)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2009/11/12/wind-in-the-pillows-frankie-2009/) - They say humans spend a third of their lifetime sleeping. Of that time, I spend a third lying in bed swearing, a third sitting in the kitchen eating ham and a third rolling around in a half-awake dream state with the devil playing Pictionary. Rock and roll brain, you god forsaken sponge! Where did it
- [Interstate Man Of Mystery (Frankie - 2009)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2009/11/12/interstate-man-of-mystery-frankie-2009/) - This is how it goes: Me: I've never been overseas. Person: What!? Me: Yep. Person: But you're from Tasmania. (Person laughs for 18 minutes). Me: True. I guess I have then. (Person continues anecdote of how they caught a train from Paris to Berlin and then ended up in Amsterdam and fell in love with
- [Alcohol is pure sex (Frankie - 2009)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2009/11/12/alcohol-is-pure-sex-frankie-2009/) - Alcohol is pure sex. Frosted white wine splashing between your lips. A smooth green bottle, snug in your dancing hand. The spitfire sweet of a straw sucked liqueur. The luscious punch of ice shrapnel between teeth, a slush of lemon and gin anointing your smoky throat. Alcohol lubricates your gasping mind. Oils your dancing bones.
- [22nd Dec 2009 - December Residency @ Toff In Town, Melbourne](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2009/11/02/december-residency-toff-in-town-melbourne-w-the-awkwardstra-harry-angus-1512-on-door/) - w/ The Awkwardstra + Harry Angus. $15/$12 on door.
- [15th Dec 2010 - Residency @ Toff In Town, Melbourne](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2009/11/02/december-residency-toff-in-town-melbourne-w-the-awkwardstra-claire-hollingsworth-1512-on-door/) - w/ The Awkwardstra + Claire Hollingsworth. $15/$12 on door.
- [8th Dec 2009 - Residency @ Toff In Town, Melbourne](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2009/11/02/december-residency-toff-in-town-melbourne-w-the-awkwardstra-mark-lang-skipping-girl-vinegar-1512-on-door/) - w/ The Awkwardstra + Mark Lang (Skipping Girl Vinegar). $15/$12 on door.
- [1st Dec 2009 - Residency @ Toff In Town, Melbourne](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2009/11/02/december-residency-toff-in-town-melbourne-w-the-awkwardstra-van-walker-1512-on-door/) - w/ The Awkwardstra + Casey Bennetto. $15/$12 on door.
- [News 25/10/2009](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2009/10/25/news-25-10-2009/) - December Residency @ Toff In Town, Tuesdays in December. See poser, I mean poster: NEWS • The Melbourne Fringe run of '86 Tram' was sweet. Yarra Trams even came along for the first time. Three of their representatives came up afterwards and gave me a 'I heart my tram' badge. I think that's good. •
- [LapTopping - 73 - "Rad Camp"](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2009/10/25/laptopping-73-rad-camp/) - ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------------- LapTopping – The Bit Long, Official E-zine of The Bedroom Philosopher ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ISSUE 73 Wednesday September 30, 2009. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- LT BIRTHDAYS Happy Birthday Kieran Culkin 27 today! Happy Birthday Martina Hingis 29 today! Happy Birthday Fran Drescher 52 today! ----------------------------------------------------------------------- COOL SHOP Having trouble finding Bedroom Philosopher albums and products? Forget passive
- [29th Oct 2009 - (solo) The Vanguard. King st, Sydney. ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2009/09/10/solo-the-vanguard-king-st-sydney-details-tba/) - w/ Smart Casual. $15 plus b.f. or $20 on door.
- [13th Sept 2009 - (solo) Livewired comedy. ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2009/09/10/solo-livewired-comedy-brisbane-powerhouse-630pm-free/) - Brisbane Powerhouse. 6:30pm. Free.
- [4th Sept 2009 - Supporting Root! (ex TISM) ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2009/08/12/supporting-root-ex-tism-w-the-awkwardstra-the-espygershwyn-room-830pm/) - w/ The Awkwardstra. The Espy,Gershwyn Room. 8:30pm.
- [10th Oct 2009 - Melbourne Fringe Festival - Songs From The 86 Tram](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2009/07/27/melbourne-fringe-festival-songs-from-the-86-tram-ballroom-lithuanian-club-errol-st-north-melbourne-2218-october-3-10-no-monday/) - Lithuanian Club. Errol St, North Melbourne. $22/$18. October 3-10 (No Monday).
- [18th Sept 2009 - (solo) Happy Yess, Darwin. ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2009/07/27/happy-yess-darwin-details-tba/) - w/ Hood Tce Social Club. $10. 8pm.
- [16th Sept 2009 - (solo) Alice Desert Festival. ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2009/07/27/alice-desert-festival-details-tba/) - High Noon Saloon, Alice Springs. 8pm. $10.
- [11th Sept 2009 - (solo) Brisbane Fringe Festival. ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2009/07/27/brisbane-fringe-festival-details-tba/) - The Fox Hotel South Brisbane. 8pm.
- [9th Sept 2009 - Darrebin Music Feast. Wesley Anne ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2009/07/27/darrebin-music-feast-wesley-anne-w-josh-earl-oliver-clark-10-high-st-northcote/) - w/ Josh Earl & Oliver Clark. $10. High St, Northcote.
- [30th July 2009 - Mic In Hand Melbourne, Vibe Bar](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2009/07/27/mic-in-hand-melbourne-vibe-bar-smith-st-collingwood-mc-josh-earl-10-8pm/) - Smith St, Collingwood. MC Josh Earl. $10. 8pm
- [22nd, 23rd, 27th, 29th, 30th Aug 2009 - Melbourne Writers Festival](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2009/07/27/melbourne-writers-festival-festival-club-acmi-5/) - Festival Club, ACMI
- [News 22/6/2009](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2009/06/22/news-22-6-2009/) - Currently working on new "Songs From The 86 Tram" album. New LapTopping soon too. Bizzy! NEWS (Brought to you by the new collaboration between members of The Shins and The Bangles 'The Shingles.') ♥ The Brown & Orange National Tour is pressed and ironed and ready to roll up the east coast like a convoy
- [LapTopping - 72 - "Abracadabra" ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2009/06/21/laptopping-72-abracadabra/) - ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------------- LapTopping – The Bit Long, Official E-zine of The Bedroom Philosopher ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ISSUE 72 Monday June 22, 2009. BROWN & ORANGE NATIONAL TOUR WITH THE AWKWARDSTRA DURING JULY/AUGUST ----------------------------------------------------------------------- LT BIRTHDAYS Happy Birthday Clyde Drexler (NBA) 47 today! Happy Birthday Cyndi Lauper 56 today! ----------------------------------------------------------------------- THE ADVENTURES OF SPACE CAT! Chapter One
- [3rd July 2009 - Newcastle Album Launch ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2009/06/15/newcastle-album-launch-the-lassogowrie-w-the-awkwardstra-josh-earl-free-8pm/) - w/ The Awkwardstra & Josh Earl. The Lassogowrie. Free. 8pm.
- [5th Aug 2009 - Adelaide Album Launch - Grace Emily (Solo). ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2009/05/16/adelaide-album-launch-grace-emily-solo-details-tbc/) - w/ Guillaume Soloacoustic. $10. 8pm.
- [9th Aug 2009 - Perth / Fremantle Album Launch - Mojo's. ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2009/05/16/perth-fremantle-album-launch-mojos-details-tbc/) - w/ Tomas Ford and The Whistling Dogs. $10. 5pm.
- [](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2009/05/15/623/) - Director's Choice Award at MICF. National tour planned. NEWS (Brought to you by the new collaboration between The Kinks and Skunkhour. 'The Kunks.') ♥ My Melbourne Comedy Festival Show “Songs From The 86 Tram” went extremely well. I almost sold out all fifteen shows, until I broke my humerus by riding my bike into a
- [LapTopping - 71 - "Nice Slacks"](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2009/05/15/laptopping-71-nice-slacks/) - ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------------- LapTopping – The Bit Long, Official E-zine of The Bedroom Philosopher ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ISSUE 71 Friday May 15, 2009. New album Brown & Orange available now on itunes, in shops, or by mail order with a lipstick kiss from me. Recent reviews: “Its a lavish production and a thrillingly entertaining and equally exhausting
- [When Indie Becomes Mainstream (Frankie - 2009)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2009/05/08/when-indie-becomes-mainstream-frankie-2009/) - Who could forget the feeling of first discovering your favourite band or show. Like a seasoned explorer, you sail the air waves, telescope poised, waiting for a particular hook, lyric or joke to glimmer on the horizon like a cheeky lighthouse. Eyes grinning through sea spray you throttle your badge encrusted wheel, drop the striped
- [Social Suicide Bomber (Frankie - 2009)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2009/05/08/social-suicide-bomber-frankie-2009/) - (This piece first appeared in Frankie magazine in response to the question 'What is your super power?') You don’t choose to be a social suicide bomber, you are born one. Just like a pre-pubescent Spiderman was caught with goo on his hands, those inflicted / blessed with this conversational gift discover it by accident. With
- [16th July 2009 - Burnie Album Launch (solo). ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2009/05/01/burnie-album-launch-solo-stagedoor-cafe-8pm-cost-tbc/) - Stagedoor Cafe. 8pm. Cost: TBC.
- [12th July 2009 - Hobart Album Launch ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2009/05/01/hobart-album-launch-w-the-awkwardstra-josh-earl-the-republic-12-8pm/) - w/ The Awkwardstra & Charles Du Cane. The Republic. $12. 8pm.
- [9th July 2009 - Melbourne Album ReLaunch ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2009/05/01/melbourne-album-relaunch-w-the-awkwardstra-josh-earl-toff-in-town-12-8pm/) - w/ The Awkwardstra & Merri-May Gill (Bris). MC Josh Earl. Toff In Town. $12. 8pm.
- [5th July 2009 - Brisbane Album Launch ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2009/05/01/brisbane-album-launch-w-the-awkwardstra-josh-earl-the-troubadour-12-8pm/) - w/ The Awkwardstra & Josh Earl. The Troubadour. $12. 8pm.
- [1st July 2009 - Sydney Album Launch ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2009/05/01/sydney-album-launch-w-the-awkwardstra-josh-earl-venue-tbc/) - w/ The Awkwardstra & Josh Earl. Bar Me. $12.
- [2nd July 2009 - Canberra Album Launch](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2009/05/01/canberra-album-launch-w-the-awkwardstra-josh-earl-anu-12-8pm/) - w/ The Awkwardstra & Josh Earl. ANU. $12. 8pm.
- [30th May 2009 - Melbourne Comedy Festival Roadshow, Broken Hill](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2009/05/01/melbourne-comedy-festival-roadshow-broken-hill/)
- [29th May 2009 - Melbourne Comedy Festival Roadshow, Robinvale](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2009/05/01/melbourne-comedy-festival-roadshow-robinvale/)
- [28th May 2009 - Melbourne Comedy Festival Roadshow, Swan Hill](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2009/05/01/melbourne-comedy-festival-roadshow-swan-hill/)
- [27th May 2009 - Melbourne Comedy Festival Roadshow, Yarrawonga](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2009/05/01/melbourne-comedy-festival-roadshow-yarrawonga/)
- [26th May 2009 - Melbourne Comedy Festival Roadshow, Rutherglen](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2009/05/01/melbourne-comedy-festival-roadshow-rutherglen/)
- [](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2009/03/23/566/) - Winner! Director's Choice award at Melbourne International Comedy Festival. While gliding down Smith Street on his trusty push bike last Saturday with the wind in his hair and the world at his feet, the Bedroom Philosopher was promptly grounded by his old pal, the 86 tram. The entanglement resulted in a broken humerus, a truth
- [LapTopping - 70 - "Sitar Hero"](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2009/03/23/laptopping-70-sitar-hero/) - ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------------- LapTopping – The Bit Long, Official E-zine of The Bedroom Philosopher ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ISSUE 70 Estimated Reading Time: Two and a half minutes. (Going off how long you are when you say you'll only be a minute). ----------------------------------------------------------------------- LT BIRTHDAYS Happy Birthday Hope Davis (American Splendour) 45 today! Happy Birthday Damon Albarn 42
- [Comedy Festival run has been cancelled! I broke my arm in a bike stack. Epic fail.](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2009/03/22/557/)
- [19th Mar 2009 - Album launch @ The Corner Hotel. ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2009/02/27/549/) - W/ Tripod, The Suitcase Royale & DJ's. Folk-wit extraordinaire The Bedroom Philosopher launches his highly anticipated new album Brown & Orange supported by mega stars Tripod and ramshackle good things The Suitcase Royale as well as go-go guardians DJ's Emma Peel & Master Bedroom. The BP will be backed by his oddly handsome and handsomely
- [21st Feb 2009 - (solo) Supporting Spooky Men's Chorale @ The Lithuanian Club. ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2009/02/21/solo-supporting-spooky-mens-chorale-the-lithuanian-club-errol-st-north-melbourne-2015/) - Errol St, North Melbourne. $20/$15
- [](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2009/02/16/548/) - SONGS FROM THE 86 TRAM To book tickets and hear preview songs click on this link The wait is over! Brown & Orange is out now! REVIEWS JUST IN FOR 'BROWN & ORANGE' "The Bedroom Philosopher, aka Justin Heazlewood, revealed himself as an hallucinogenic hybrid of Tripod and Syd Barrett on his 2005 cult hit
- [LapTopping - 69 - "Peter Russell-Crowe"](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2009/02/09/laptopping-69-peter-russell-crowe/) - ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------------- LapTopping – The Bit Long, Official E-zine of The Bedroom Philosopher ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ISSUE 69 Estimated Reading Time: 9:53 ----------------------------------------------------------------------- LT BIRTHDAYS Happy Birthday Ice-T 51 today! Happy Birthday John McEnroe 50 today! ----------------------------------------------------------------------- RECENTLY REGISTERED COVER BANDS Rage Against The Sewing Machine – Gentle indie acoustic versions. Queens Of The Old Age
- [19th Mar 2009 - Brown & Orange Album Launch. The Corner. ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2009/02/08/brown-orange-album-launch-the-corner-w-tripod-plus-more-tba/) - W/ Tripod, The Suitcase Royale and DJ's Emma Peel & Master Bedroom. $17 plus b.f. ($22 on door).
- [10th Jan 2009 - (solo) Summer Cherry Festival. ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2009/01/01/solo-summer-cherry-festival-the-gov-adelaide/) - The Gov, Adelaide.
- [29th Dec 2008 - Peat's Ridge Festival, NSW. ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2008/12/29/peats-ridge-festival-nsw-appearing-in-cabaret-tent-29th-30th-8pm-solo/) - Appearing in Cabaret tent 29th & 30th @ 8pm (solo).
- [](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2008/12/28/545/) - The wait is over! Brown & Orange is out now. Request it in shops. There's 14 new songs plus a 16-page deluxe colour booklet to enjoy! Download Justin's new radio show 'Lime Champions' here NEWS (Brought to you by Crankie, the fashion magazine for stylish twenty-somethings who hate everything.) ♥ Brown and Orange will be
- [LapTopping - 68 - "Best LapTopping Ever"](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2008/12/28/laptopping-68-best-laptopping-ever/) - ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------------- LapTopping – The Bit Long, Official E-zine of The Bedroom Philosopher ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ISSUE 68 Sunday December 28, 2008. Estimated Reading Time: 9:53 ----------------------------------------------------------------------- LT BIRTHDAYS Happy Birthday Patrick Rafter 36 today! Happy Birthday Jude Law 36 tomorrow! Happy Birthday Ted Danson 61 tomorrow! Happy Birthday Marianne Faithful 62 tomorrow! ----------------------------------------------------------------------- CRASSIFIDES DIDN'T
- [2nd to 26th April 2009 - Melbourne International Comedy Festival ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2008/12/27/melbourne-international-comedy-festival-songs-from-the-86-tram-the-european-bier-cafe-april-2-26th/) - "Songs From The 86 Tram" @ The European Bier Cafe. April 2-26th.
- [14th Feb 2009 - The Thin Green Line Festival](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2008/12/27/the-thin-green-line-festival-coolart-wetlands-mornington-peninsula-with-band/) - Coolart Wetlands, Mornington Peninsula. (With Band)
- [The Hardest Thing I've Ever Had To Do (Frankie - 2008)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2008/12/27/the-hardest-thing-ive-ever-had-to-do-frankie-2008/) - (This first appeared as a writing exercise answering the above question in Frankie magazine.) In 2000 I stood before a packed dining room, faces glistening in the candle light. I was MCing the graduation dinner of a youth organisation I volunteered for. As always, I was seen as the lovable comedian, set to dazzle with
- [If You Could Rid The Earth Of One Thing What Would It Be? (Frankie - 2008)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2008/12/27/if-you-could-rid-the-earth-of-one-thing-what-would-it-be-frankie-2008/) - (This piece appeared as part of a writing exercise on the above topic in Frankie magazine.) I decided to rid the earth of religion. The exact process was mysterious, involved a lot of forms and tickled a bit. I was led into a secret basement beneath Frankie HQ with multicoloured moss, posters of bands from
- [Tasmanian National Anthem (Frankie - 2008)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2008/12/27/tasmania-frankie-2008/) - Australian’s please let us rejoin, For it is one degree. With oldies loyal and health in turmoil Our shops are shut by three. Our land is ground into nature’s chips Forestry’s stripped us bare It’s a mystery gays were allowed to stay Advance Tasmania where? With employment strained the young jump ship Advance Tasmania where?
- [The Jeans Are Always Blacker (JMag - 2008)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2008/12/27/the-jeans-are-always-blacker-jmag-2008/) - Ever had the feeling that someone, somewhere is having a much better life than you? Ever trawled through a magazine, much like this fine one, and taken the whole thing personally? E Gad! Look at these hotter, wiser, better dressed, more experienced young things. Ever stared at that touchy cutesy couple at the gig and
- [ Ranty-Depressants (2008)  ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2008/12/27/ranty-depressants-2008/) - I was first diagnosed with depression when I was sixteen. Clumsily, by a doctor who may as well have been doing a sudoku during the consultation. I went in to complain about not sleeping, which I had already self-diagnosed was caused by the medical anomalies of thinking too much and having complex sexual fantasies set
- [9th Dec 2008 - Northcote Social Club Tuesdays Residency. ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2008/12/05/northcote-social-club-tuesdays-in-december-residency-two-sets-solo-and-band-w-the-suitcase-royale-10-8pm/) - Two sets, solo and band. W/ The Suitcase Royale. $10.
- [16th Dec 2008 - Northcote Social Club Tuesdays Residency. ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2008/12/05/northcote-social-club-tuesdays-in-december-residency-two-sets-solo-and-band-w-josh-earl-10-8pm/) - Two sets, solo and band. W/ Josh Earl. $10.
- [23rd Dec 2008 - Northcote Social Club Tuesdays Residency. ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2008/12/05/northcote-social-club-tuesdays-in-december-residency-two-sets-solo-and-band-w-scott-edgar-10-8pm/) - Two sets, solo and band. W/ Scott Edgar. $10.
- [13th Dec 2008 - Stagedoor Cafe, Burnie (all ages). ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2008/12/05/stagedoor-cafe-burnie-all-ages/)
- [2nd Dec 2008 - Northcote Social Club Tuesdays Residency. ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2008/12/02/northcote-social-club-tuesdays-in-december-residency-two-sets-solo-and-band-w-the-town-bikes-oliver-clark-10-8pm/) - Two sets, solo and band. W/ The Town Bikes + Oliver Clark. $10. 8pm.
- [](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2008/11/26/529/) - CLICK HERE TO WATCH NEW WOW WOW'S SONG FILM CLIP. (Choose 'watch in high quality). CLICK HERE TO BUY WOW WOW'S SONG ON iTUNES. NEWS (Brought to you by Proof the Magic Dragon. An introduction to copy editing for under sevens.) ♥ The Wow Wow's Song film clip has been completed and was made the
- [LapTopping - 67 - "Bitter, crappier, more seductive"](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2008/11/26/laptopping-67-bitter-crappier-more-seductive/) - ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------------- LapTopping – The Bit Long, Official E-zine of The Bedroom Philosopher ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ISSUE 67 Estimated Reading Time: 13:03 **Melbourne Residency – Tuesdays in December @ The Northcote Social Club!** **Wow Wow's Song now on iTunes** ----------------------------------------------------------------------- LT BIRTHDAYS Happy Birthday Tina Turner 69 today! ----------------------------------------------------------------------- SONG TO GET STUCK IN YOUR HEAD
- [22nd Nov 2008 - Trackside Festival (Comedy Stage) Canberra Racecourse](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2008/11/22/trackside-festival-comedy-stage-canberra-racecourse-canberra-530pm/) - Canberra. 5:30pm.
- [14th Dec 2008 - Royal Oak, Launceston. $8. ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2008/11/18/royal-oak-launceston-8-support-tba/) - (All ages) Support TBA.
- [12th Nov 2008 - Performing as Windsor Flare (solo side-project) ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2008/11/12/performing-as-windsor-flare-solo-side-project-w-emily-mae-the-alarm-belles-josh-earl-wesley-anne-northcote-5-8pm/) - w/ Emily Mae & The Alarm Belles & Josh Earl. Wesley Anne, Northcote. $5. 8pm.
- [9th Nov 2008 - Lewisham Tavern, Lewisham. ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2008/11/09/lewisham-tavern-lewisham-w-charles-du-cane-free-3pm/) - w/ Charles Du Cane. Free. 3pm
- [1st Nov 2008 - Supporting Fred Smith @ The Wesley Anne. ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2008/10/30/supporting-fred-smith-the-wesley-anne-250-high-st-northcote-8pm/) - 250 High St, Northcote. 8pm.
- [5th Nov 2008 - HOBART - Brisbane Hotel. (Single Launch - Solo).](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2008/10/25/brisbane-hotell-hobart-single-launch-solo-w-charles-du-cane-8pm-8/) - W/ Charles Du Cane. 8pm. $8.
- [22nd Oct 2008 - Hopetoun Hotel - Sydney (single launch) ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2008/10/22/hopetoun-hotel-sydney-single-launch-w-josh-earl-pterodactyl-man-8/) - w/ Josh Earl & Pterodactyl Man. $8.
- [23rd Oct 2008 - Northcote Social Club (single launch, 2 sets - solo & band). ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2008/10/12/northcote-social-club-single-launch-2-sets-solo-band-w-josh-earl-10/) - w/ Ben Pobje. $8.
- [22nd Oct 2008 - Single Launch Tour Sydney](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2008/10/08/hopetoun-hotel-surry-hills-sydney-single-launch-solo-w-josh-earl-pterodactyl-man-8pm-8/) - Hopetoun Hotel Oct 22. Melbourne: Northcote Social Club Oct 23. Hobart: Brisbane Hotel Nov 5. All $8.
- [4th Oct 2008 - This Is Not Art Festival - Mashquerade Ball. ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2008/10/04/this-is-not-art-festival-mashquerade-ball-newcastle-venue-tba/) - Newcastle. Venue TBA.
- [20th Sept 2008 - Post-Modern Picnic. JOYnt Cafe](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2008/09/20/post-modern-picnic-joynt-cafe-48-montague-road-south-brisbane-single-launch-w-special-guests-2pm-8/) - 48 Montague Road, South Brisbane. (Single Launch) w/ special guests. 2pm. $8.
- [](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2008/09/17/512/) - CLICK HERE TO WATCH NEW WOW WOW'S SONG FILM CLIP. (Choose 'watch in high quality). CLICK HERE TO BUY WOW WOW'S SONG ON iTUNES. (Brought to you by Geometric Jane’s Psychedelic Albatross Line-Art Restoration and Ambiguous Homewares Emporium. Simply drop in and drop out as our epilepsy inducing range of kaleidoscopic patterns and Geneva convention
- [LapTopping - 66 - "Lime Champion"](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2008/09/17/laptopping-66-lime-champion/) - ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------------- LapTopping – The Bit Long, Official E-zine of The Bedroom Philosopher ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ISSUE 66 Wednesday September 17 2008 Estimated Reading Time: 12:21. (Did you know, it takes you longer to read LapTopping on a sunny day because you’re more likely to get distracted by colleagues asking you to play Frisbee?) ----------------------------------------------------------------------- LT
- [21st Sept 2008 - Brisbane Powerhouse, Brisbane. ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2008/08/28/powerhouse-museum-brisbane-livewire-comedy-free-7pm/) - Livewire Comedy. Free. 7pm.
- [29th Nov 2008 - (solo) Queenscliff Music Festival. ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2008/08/21/solo-queenscliff-music-festival-details-tba/) - (Saturday: 11:15am The Shed. 2pm The Train. Sunday: 12:15pm Stoked On Hesse).
- [A Story No Blogger Should Miss (Frankie - 2008)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2008/08/06/a-story-no-blogger-should-miss-2008/) - (This piece originally appeared in Frankie #23) Dear Blog, Today I did this and said that and made this private joke and generally my grammar was terrible and I got myself into a situation with no dramatic tension or character arcs and I guess you had to be there. *SUMBIT* Sound familiar? Yes, tickle me
- [Hair Today, Gonged Tomorrow  (2008)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2008/08/06/hair-today-gonged-tomorrow-2008/) - There’s never a more vulnerable time in one’s life than when they step outside the door of the hairdresser’s. As a guy, the thought running through my head is almost always the same – ‘TOOOOO SSHHOOOORRRRTTTTT!!!’ Having abruptly cropped hair leaves your big goofy head exposed, like your face’s version of being caught with its
- [Dream Analysis (2008)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2008/08/05/dream-analysis-2008/) - It’s 7:13am Monday morning and I’m sprawled in my warm blue sheets having a dream. My girlfriend and I are sitting outside a beachside café while an aerial battle is going on. Two squadrons of about fifteen planes a piece are locked in frenetic oscillation, their khaki green bodies murky against the pale sky. Like
- [Fucking Tinittus (2008)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2008/08/04/fucking-tinittus-2008/) - By the hammer of Thor! I have tinnitus. The alarm bell of my vulnerability is ringing in my ears. I’ve let the team down. I’ve hurt myself. I’ve quite possibly permanently damaged one of the most precious and valuable parts of my body. I’ve fucked up. (This is me being positive.) A friend gave me
- [28th July 2008 - MCing The Local. Melbourne's best comedy night. ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2008/07/28/mcing-the-local-melbournes-best-comedy-night-local-taphouse-cnr-carlislechapel-st-st-kilda-12/) - Local taphouse, Cnr Carlisle/Chapel St, St Kilda. $12.
- [30th Jul 2008 - Northcote Storytellers. ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2008/07/23/•wednesday-july-30-northcote-storytellers-this-is-a-marvellous-new-evening-where-comedians-performers-are-encouraged-to-sit-in-a-big-comfy-chair-with-a-granny-rug-and-tell-stories-the-night-is/) - A new evening of performers telling stories. Free. Willow Bar. 222 High St Northcote.
- [](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2008/07/23/492/) - REQUEST NEW SINGLE 'WOW WOW'S SONG' ON JJJ SUPER REQUESTS - PLEASE. (Brought to you by Truckie helpline. A new two-way counselling service for those going through the ‘long haul.’ Includes AM radio tip-offs, swear word of the day and conflict resolution to deal with walkie-talkie kids jamming the line with fart noises.) • My
- [LapTopping - 65 - "Bananageddon"](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2008/07/23/laptopping-65-bananageddon/) - ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------------- LapTopping – The Bit Long, Official E-zine of The Bedroom Philosopher ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ISSUE 65 Wednesday July 23 2008 Estimated Reading Time: 10:01 **Join the BP's Facebook page!** ----------------------------------------------------------------------- URGENT! POSITIONS VACANT! A video editor / animator is desperately required to finish post-production on some background animations in my latest film clip. It’s
- [6th Jul 2008 - (solo) Stagedoor Cafe, Burnie. ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2008/07/06/solo-stagedoor-cafe-burnie-w-josh-earl-5/) - W/ Josh Earl. $5.
- [5th Jul 2008 -(solo) Royal Oak, Launceston ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2008/07/05/solo-royal-oak-launceston-w-josh-earl-8/) - W/ Josh Earl. $8.
- [3rd Jul 2008 - (solo) Alley Cat Bar](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2008/07/03/solo-alley-cat-bar-elizabeth-st-hobart-w-josh-earl-8/) - Elizabeth St, Hobart. W/ Josh Earl. $8.
- [9th Jun 2008 - (solo) MCing Local Laughs @ The Local](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2008/06/09/solo-mcing-local-laughs-the-local-st-kilda-12/) - St Kilda. $12.
- [8th Jun 2008 - (solo) Wilderness Society Fundraiser. ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2008/06/08/solo-wilderness-society-fundraiser-east-brunswick-club-east-brunswick/) - East Brunswick Club, East Brunswick.
- [8th May 2008 - (solo) Blue Velvet Bar,  ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2008/05/08/solo-blue-velvet-bar-smith-st-collingwood-spoken-word-evening-w-joelistics-tzu/) - Smith St, Collingwood. Spoken word evening w/ Joelistics (TZU). $?
- [4th Ma 2008 - (solo) Headlining Livewire Comedy Evening. ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2008/05/04/solo-headlining-livewire-comedy-evening-powerhouse-theatre-brisvegas-free/) - Powerhouse Theatre, Brisvegas. Free!
- [17th Jun 2008 - (solo) Headlining Comedy On The Edge. ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2008/04/29/solo-comedy-on-the-edge-hotel-william-darlinghurst-sydney-10/) - Hotel William, Darlinghurst, Sydney. $10.
- [18th Jun 2008 - (solo) Headlining Comedy On The Rox. ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2008/04/29/solo-comedy-on-the-rox-roxbury-hotel-glebe-sydney-1512/) - Roxbury Hotel, Glebe, Sydney. $15/$12
- [19th Jun 2008 - (solo) Headlining Mic In Hand. ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2008/04/29/solo-mic-in-hand-friend-in-hand-hotel-glebe-sydney-12/) - Friend In Hand Hotel, Glebe, Sydney. $12
- [19th Apr 2008 - (solo). Empress. ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2008/04/19/solo-empress-supporting-mojo-juju/) - Supporting Mojo Juju.
- [Welcome To Mario Kart (2008)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2008/04/16/welcome-to-mario-kart-2008/) - They say when you’re lying on your deathbed thinking back over your life, you won’t be worrying about what job you had or how much money you made, but about the people you loved, in particular your one true love. Failing that there’s always your greatest races on Mario Kart 64. Such is the divine
- [Greywater (2008)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2008/04/15/greywater-2008/) - I tip the last drops of water into my mouth and rinse out my glass, steering the tap lever up and left. Fluid thunders out of the pipe like tubular ocean - the Amazonian sound-spray filling my ears. The weight of a hundred micro-storms splice over my hand as if my knuckles were river-rocks. I
- [Food Slap Club (2008)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2008/04/14/food-slap-club-2008/) - Who hasn’t watched Fight Club and thought: “Yeah – maybe if I smacked my friends around a bit I’d alleviate some of this pedestrian, inner-city tension. Maybe I am getting a bit soft. Have I ever even been in a fight? When was the last time I tried a ninja kick at book club, or
- [4th Apr 2008 - (solo) Supporting Tripod](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2008/04/04/solo-supporting-tripod-at-the-forum-theatre-930pm/) - The Forum Theatre. 9:30pm.
- [14th Mar 2008 - Edinburgh Castle. ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2008/03/12/his-awkwardstra-support-tba-edinburgh-castle-sydney-rd-brunswick-8pm-8/) - Sydney Rd, Brunswick. w/ TM Band. $8.
- [ ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2008/03/12/a-film-clip-to-the-second-single-wow-wows-song-la-la-la-has-been-shot/) - Currently seeking management/label. WANT TO EARN SIX FIGURE INCOME? Apply within. (Brought to you by the Yellow Pages. “Australia’s least satisfying streetpress.”) • A film clip to the second single Wow Wow’s Song (La La La) has been shot. It is being directed by Charlotte George. (She’s done some Audrey’s clips, shot footage for Laurence
- [LapTopping - 64 - "Don Spencer Blues Explosion"](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2008/03/12/laptopping-64-don-spencer-blues-explosion/) - ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------------- LapTopping – The Bit Long, Official E-zine of The Bedroom Philosopher ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ISSUE 64 Wednesday March 12 2008. Estimated Reading Time: 8:11 ----------------------------------------------------------------------- LT BIRTHDAYS Happy Birthday Simone Buchanan 40 yesterday! Happy Birthday Liza Minelli 62 today! Happy Birthday Pete Doherty 28 today! ----------------------------------------------------------------------- SONG TO GET STUCK IN YOUR HEAD OF
- [27th Feb 2008 - (& His Awkwardstra) ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2008/02/27/his-awkwardstra-w-dub-the-magic-dragon-gertrudes-brown-couch-gertrude-st-fitzroy-8pm-8-2/) - w/ Dub The Magic Dragon. Gertrude's Brown Couch. Gertrude St, Fitzroy. 8pm. $8.
- [15th Feb 2008 - (& His Awkwardstra) ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2008/02/11/band-perth-international-arts-festival-becks-music-box-the-esplanade-free/) - Perth International Arts Festival. Beck's Music Box, The Esplanade. Free.
- [16th FEb 2008 - (& His Awkwardstra) ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2008/02/11/band-perth-international-arts-festival-becks-music-box-the-esplanade-free-2/) - Perth International Arts Festival. Beck's Music Box, The Esplanade. Free.
- [4th Mar 2008 - (& His Awkwardstra) ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2008/02/11/band-melbourne-uni-o-week-free-lunchtime-gig/) - Melbourne Uni O-Week. Free lunchtime gig.
- [9th Mar 2008 - (Solo) w/ Extreme Wheeze.  ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2008/02/11/solo-wesley-anne-northcote-830pm-8-support-tba/) - Wesley Anne. High St, Northcote. 8pm. $8.
- [Fireworks, 1942, My Spiritual Checkpoint.  (2008)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2008/02/11/fireworks-1942-my-spiritual-checkpoint-2008/) - For a change this year I spent New Year’s Eve on the foreshore of my hometown Burnie, Tasmania. While the lengthy stares from primitive locals and a muddy mix on the Bon Jovi cover band (Bad Medicine) were downers, the midnight fireworks were a plus. It doesn’t matter where you are, geographically or mentally, fireworks
- [28th Jan 2008 - Melbourne Big Day Out (w/ His Awkwardstra)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2008/01/22/melbourne-big-day-out-band-jan-28th-details-unsure-as-yet-most-likely-mondo-exotica-stage-next-to-lilypad/) - Playing @ Lilyworld - Bacardi Ballroom Stage.
- [](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2008/01/22/464/) - BUSINESS PARTNER OF GOLDEN GAYTIME CREATOR WRITES TO ME! (Brought to you by Babs McSlabs Canned Roasts. All the goodness of a roast meal in a can. No need to add water. Just heat and throw out. Available in Beef, Pork and Vegetarian Hydrologised Extract.) * The business partner of the man who created The
- [LapTopping - 63 -  "Code Brown"](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2008/01/22/laptopping-code-brown/) - ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------------- LapTopping – The Bit Long, Official E-zine of The Bedroom Philosopher ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ISSUE 63 Tuesday January 22 2008. Estimated Reading Time: 7:35 ----------------------------------------------------------------------- LT BIRTHDAYS Happy Birthday Tiffani Amber-Thiessen 34 today! Happy Birthday Verne “Mini-Me” Troyer 39 tomorrow! Happy Birthday Jimeoin 42 tomorrow! Happy Birthday Melissa Tkautz 34 tomorrow! ----------------------------------------------------------------------- SONG TO
- [The Way To A Man's Heart Is Through His Stomach  (Frankie - 2007) ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2008/01/08/the-way-to-a-mans-heart-is-through-his-stomach-2007/) - This article was originally published in Frankie Magazine #20. It was in response to the man myth - the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. This saying was first coined by the United States Chief Medical Surgeon Ernie Monbulk in Connecticut in 1943. At the time he was giving a lecture to
- [Beware The Indie Sleaze (Frankie - 2007)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2008/01/07/beware-the-indie-sleaze-2007/) - This article was originally published in Frankie Magazine #20. Regardless of your geographic tendency or sociological demographic, by the time you hit early adulthood, you will have had the misfortune of spending a Friday night at ‘The Cliché.’ The Cliché is a chain of nightclubs around Australia that use the same dingy decor and audio
- [Little Op Shop Of Horrors (Frankie - 2007)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2008/01/06/a-story-about-op-shopping-2007/) - I started my love affair with op shops back in Grade 12, when I sprinted into our local St Vinnies to hide from some bullies. It was exactly like the scene in The NeverEnding Story, except that instead of a certain hardcover storybook altering my destiny, it was a burnt orange cardigan. The kingdom of
- [The Art Of One Night Stands (Frankie - 2007)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2008/01/05/the-art-of-one-night-stands-2007/) - This article was originally published in Frankie Magazine #18. It was also published in The Sex Mook (Vignette Press 2007). One Night Stands – the methadone clinics for intimacy junkies. For many, this grope on a rope mentality is too depraved to consider. It conjures up conjugal imagery of a greasy footballer and a Midori
- [The World's Fucked (Frankie - 2007)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2008/01/04/the-worlds-fucked-frankie-2007/) - This article was originally published in Frankie Magazine #18 A reliable source (girl in pub) once told me that Astro Boy was originally set in 1995. Whether or not it’s true, it does reinstall the notion that we probably have a right to feel ripped off by the ‘future.’ Twelve years on from that fictional
- [The Boosh Are Making Me Jealous (2007)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2008/01/03/the-boosh-are-making-me-jealous-2007/) - What’s that saying? ‘There’s always someone better off than you.’ No, that’s not it. But you know what I mean – ‘there’s always going to be someone ahead of you being more successful.’ Hmmm. That’s a bit clumsy. I think it was one of my Nan’s sayings. ‘You’ve got nothing.’ Yeah, that’s it. Admittedly she
- [Facebook (2007)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2008/01/02/facebook-2007/) - Facebook. Don’t ignore it. Don’t try and fight it. You can’t escape. There’s nowhere to run. It owns you. It knows where you live. It’s ferocious and intelligent and you’d better let it zombie bite you and start up a game of scrabble or you’ll be the one at home playing with your abacus while
- [Self Interview (2007)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2008/01/01/self-interview-2007/) - Justin Heazlewood AKA ‘The Bedroom Philosopher’ appears, positively relaxed when I catch up with him at his Melbourne compound, located in a secret room in the back end of an abandoned op shop. He leans back in an electric vibrating beanbag eating Doritos, dressed in a brown corduroy jumpsuit with an orange helmet (a short
- [20th Dec 2007 - (solo) The Corner, Richmond. ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2007/12/20/solo-the-corner-richmond-supporting-tripod-32/) - Supporting Tripod. $32.
- [19th Dec 2007 - (band) Supporting Richard In Your Mind @ The Empress](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2007/12/19/band-supporting-richard-in-your-mind-the-empress-fitzroy-8/) - Fitzroy. $8.
- [13th Dec 2007 - (solo) The Gov. Radelaide. ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2007/12/13/solo-the-gov-radelaide-supporting-tripod-30-2/) - Supporting Tripod. $30.
- [12th Dec 2007 - (solo) The Gov. Radelaide. ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2007/12/12/solo-the-gov-radelaide-supporting-tripod-30/) - Supporting Tripod. $30.
- [19th Nov 2007 - (solo) Horse Bazaar. Lt Lonsdale St](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2007/11/19/solo-horse-bazaar-lt-lonsdale-st-visible-ink-anthology-launch-free/) - Visible Ink Anthology Launch. Free.
- [14th Nov 2007 - Melbourne Single Launch (Band) @ The Toff In Town](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2007/11/09/melbourne-single-launch-band-toff-in-the-town-supports-tba-10-8pm/) - Special Guests: Mal Webb + Josh Earl. $12. Doors 7:45pm.
- [](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2007/11/07/442/) - *New single The Happiest Boy available on iTunes HERE* (Brought to you by Baron Von Fop’s Gothic Grocers. Now open between 2-8am in a basement far from you. Featuring Australia’s biggest range of Eggplants, blackberry’s, off bananas and other dark produce.) * The Happiest Boy, as a song, is keeping out of trouble and can’t
- [LapTopping - 62 - "The Gin & Sonics"](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2007/11/07/laptopping-62-the-gin-sonics/) - NOTE: You can read it in black text on white if you'd prefer here ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------------- LapTopping – The Bit Long, Official E-zine of The Bedroom Philosopher ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ISSUE 62 Wednesday November 7 2007 Estimated Reading Time: 10:04. **Sydney Single Launch TOMORROW!** **Melbourne Single Launch Nov 14!** ----------------------------------------------------------------------- LT BIRTHDAYS Happy Birthday Mark Philippoussis
- [1st Nov 2007 - Canberra Single Launch (Solo) @ Toast](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2007/10/26/canberra-single-launch-solo-toast-support-tba-10-8pm/) - Special Guest: Rafe. $10.
- [3rd Nov 2007 - Hobart Single Launch (Solo - All Ages) @ The Loft](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2007/10/26/hobart-single-launch-solo-all-ages-the-loft-w-sam-nicholson-10-8pm/) - Special Guest: Sam Nicholson. $10.
- [8th Nov 2007 - Sydney Single Launch (Solo - All Ages) @ The Factory](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2007/10/26/sydney-single-launch-solo-the-factory-w-richard-in-your-mind-crooked-fiddle-band-10-8pm/) - Special Guests: Richard In Your Mind + The Crooked Fiddle Band. $12.
- [25th Oct 2007 - Radelaide Single Launch (Solo) @ Jive](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2007/10/01/radelaide-single-launch-solo-jive-w-the-beards-vorn-doolette-10-8pm/) - Special Guests: Richard In Your Mind + The Crooked Fiddle Band. $12.
- [](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2007/10/01/439/) - New single The Happiest Boy is out now! You can see the film clip HERE You can purchase it via iTunes HERE. Click HERE to vote for the clip on JTV. Click HERE to request song on JJJ's Super Request. (Only if you're in the mood - we understand you've got a lot on your
- [LapTopping - 61 - "Confidentish"](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2007/10/01/laptopping-61-confidentish/) - ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------------- LapTopping – The Bit Long, Official E-zine of The Bedroom Philosopher ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ISSUE 61 Tuesday 2nd October 2007. Estimated Reading Time: 17:22. www.myspace.com/thebedroomphilosopher www.bedroomphilosopher.com **New Single ‘The Happiest Boy’ is out now!** ----------------------------------------------------------------------- LT BIRTHDAYS! Happy Birthday Sting 56 today! Happy Birthday Yokozuna (WWF Wrestler) 41 today! Happy Birthday Dizzee Rascal 22
- [15th Sept 2007 - (Solo) Stagedoor Cafe, Burnie. ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2007/09/15/solo-stagedoor-cafe-burnie-5-you-may-need-to-book/) - $5. (You may need to book.)
- [13th Oct 2007 - (solo) Royal Oak, Launceston](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2007/09/13/solo-royal-oak-launceston-with-special-guest-josh-earl-10-830pm/) - With Special Guest Josh Earl. $10. 8:30pm.
- [23rd Sept 2007 - (Solo) Melba Spiegaltent, Northcote](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2007/09/13/solo-melba-spiegaltent-details-tba/) - W/ Scott Edgar & The Unviverse. Part of High Vibes Festival. $5. 2pm.
- [1st Sept 2007 - Solo, supporting Peter Combe @ The Peninsular Lounge](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2007/09/01/solo-supporting-peter-combe-the-peninsular-lounge-morning-peninsular-details-tba/) - Morning Peninsular. Details TBA.
- [31st Oct 2007 - With band, supporting Peter Combe @ The Espy Gershwyn Room, St Kilda.](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2007/08/31/with-band-supporting-peter-combe-the-espy-gershwyn-room-st-kilda-details-tba/) - Details TBA.
- [24th Aug 2007 - Espy Frontbar, St Kilda.  (us on 12:30am)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2007/08/24/espy-frontbar-st-kilda-us-on-1230am-w-the-bitter-sweethearts-the-summercats-plastic-palace-alice-first-band-930pm-free-and-noisy/) - w/ The Bitter Sweethearts, The Summercats & Plastic Palace Alice. First band 9:30pm. Free and noisy.
- [16th Aug 2007 - Melba Spiegaltent (Solo). High St, Northcote ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2007/08/12/melba-spiegaltent-with-band-high-st-northcote-near-northcote-town-hall-details-tba/) - (Near Northcote Town Hall). $15/$12.
- [8th Aug 2007 - Band Residency @ The Empress](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2007/08/06/band-residency-the-empress-cnr-scotchmernicholson-fitzroy-8pm-supports-tba-2/) - Cnr Scotchmer/Nicholson, Fitzroy. $8. Special guests Sean M Whelan & The Mime Set.
- [15th Aug 2007 - Band Residency @ The Empress](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2007/08/06/band-residency-the-empress-cnr-scotchmernicholson-fitzroy-8pm-supports-tba-3/) - Cnr Scotchmer/Nicholson, Fitzroy. $8. Special guests Skipping Girl Vinegar.
- [B22nd Aug 2007 - Band Residency @ The Empress](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2007/08/06/412/) - Cnr Scotchmer/Nicholson, Fitzroy. $8. Special guest Josh Earl.
- [29th Aug 2007 - Band Residency @ The Empress](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2007/08/06/band-residency-the-empress-cnr-scotchmernicholson-fitzroy-8pm-supports-tba-4/) - Cnr Scotchmer/Nicholson, Fitzroy. $8. Special Guests The Bitter Sweethearts.
- [1st Aug 2007 - Band Residency @ The Empress](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2007/07/29/band-residency-the-empress-cnr-scotchmernicholson-fitzroy-8pm-supports-tba/) - Cnr Scotchmer/Nicholson, Fitzroy. 8:30pm. $8. Special Guest D. Rogers.
- [26th Jul 2007 - (with Band!) Northcote Social Club ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2007/07/24/with-band-northcote-social-club-w-the-great-apes-more-tba-10-8pm-high-st-northcote/) - w/ The Great Apes + Plastic Palace Alice. $10. 8pm. High St, Northcote.
- [](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2007/07/24/418/) - The first single from 'Brown & Orange' is set to be released next month. It's called 'The Happiest Boy' and will feature an animated film clip from David Blumenstein. Stay tuned. (Brought to you by Kashin the Boy Wizard. Fans of Harry Potter may enjoy this new series from former advertising mogul turned debut author
- [LapTopping - 60 - "Bob Dylan Moran" ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2007/07/24/laptopping-60-bob-dylan-moran/) - NOTE: This message is for anyone who subscribes to LapTopping and normally gets it by email, but hasn't been lately. I'm not sure what's happening. It's mainly effecting Hotmail users. I've been sending it out the normal way, but chaos is still ensuing. I apologise. Please don't take it personally! ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------------- LapTopping – The
- [15th Jul 2007 - Powerhouse Theatre, Brisbane. ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2007/07/15/powerhouse-theatre-brisbane-headling-livewire-comedy-8pm-free/) - Headling Livewire Comedy. 8pm. Free.
- [12th Jul 2007 - (Sydney debut of Band!) Annandale Hotel ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2007/07/09/sydney-debut-of-band-annandale-hotel-w-richard-in-your-mind-special-guests/) - w/ Richard In Your Mind + Ergo B Bag. Doors 7:30pm (Get there early to catch Ergo B Bag!). $10.
- [8th Jun 2007 - The Loft - All Ages Show (Solo)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2007/06/08/the-loft-all-ages-show-solo-liverpool-street-hobart-10-doors-7pm/) - Liverpool Street, Hobart. $10. Doors 7pm.
- [5th Jul 2007 - The Tote (with Band!) ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2007/06/07/the-tote-with-band-w-the-basics-more-tba-8pm/) - w/ The Basics + Scott Edgar & The Universe. 8pm. $8.
- [](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2007/06/06/415/) - I have a band now! Come see us play! NEWS (Brought to you by Dude McFace, the lovable unemployment doll that children adore. Forget ‘fantasy bears’ filling your child’s head with intangible notions – let little one be lulled to sleep by Dude’s crackly tales of having his place broken into, being ripped off by
- [LapTopping - 59 - "Glamourwuss" ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2007/06/06/laptopping-59-glamourpuss/) - **NOTE: This issue, Bev spilt Milo over everything and we've had muchos technical difficulties. Do let us know if this issue hasn't been emailed to you, if you normally subscribe. laptopping@bedroomphilosopher.com** ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------------- LapTopping – The Bit Long, Official E-zine of The Bedroom Philosopher ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ISSUE 59 Wednesday 6th June 2007. Estimated Reading Time:
- [31st May 2007 - Wesley Anne Residency](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2007/05/31/wesley-anne-residency-w-josh-earl-matt-kelly-10-8pm-250-high-street-northcote/) - w/ Josh Earl + Matt Kelly. $10. 8pm. 250 High Street, Northcote.
- [21st Jun 2007 - (solo) Rob Roy ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2007/05/29/2nd-gig-with-band-rob-roy-w-the-raylenes-josh-earl/) - w/ The Raylenes + Josh Earl.
- [25th May 2007 - The Espy Frontbar, St Kilda](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2007/05/25/the-espy-frontbar-st-kilda-w-little-red-the-great-apes-930pm-free/) - w/ Little Red + The Great Apes. 9:30pm. Free.
- [24th May 2007 - Wesley Anne Residency ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2007/05/24/wesley-anne-residency-w-mal-webb-10-8pm-250-high-street-northcote/) - w/ Mal Webb . $10. 8pm. 250 High Street, Northcote.
- [25th May 2007 - Debut of 'The Bedroom Philosopher Has A Band Now!' Espy Public Bar ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2007/05/20/espy-frontbar-w-little-red-the-great-apes/) - 11 The Esplanade. St Kilda. Free. 9:30pm.
- [17th May 2007 - Wesley Anne Residency ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2007/05/17/wesley-anne-residency-w-fred-astereo-10-8pm-250-high-street-northcote/) - w/ Fred Astereo . $10. 8pm. 250 High Street, Northcote.
- [10th May 2007 - Wesley Anne Residency ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2007/05/10/wesley-anne-residency-w-julian-nation-10-8pm-250-high-street-northcote/) - w/ Julian Nation. $10. 8pm. 250 High Street, Northcote.
- [6th May 2007 - The Oyster Club @ The Spanish Club](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2007/05/06/the-oyster-club-the-spanish-club-johnston-st-fitzroy-melbournes-leading-alternative-musiccomedy-evening-8-7pm/) - Johnston St. Fitzroy. Melbourne's leading alternative music/comedy evening. $8. 7pm.
- [3rd May 2007 - Wesley Anne Residency](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2007/05/03/wesley-anne-residency-w-pikelet-10-8pm-250-high-street-northcote/) - w/ Pikelet. $10. 8pm. 250 High Street, Northcote.
- [20th May 2007 - Supporting Peter Combe @ The Corner Hotel](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2007/04/30/supporting-peter-combe-the-northcote-social-club-830pm/) - Richmond. 8:30pm.
- [16th Jun 2007 - My first ever hometown gig! Stagedoor Cafe](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2007/04/24/my-first-ever-hometown-gig-stagedoor-cafe-254-mount-street-upper-burnie-8pm/) - 254 Mount Street. Upper Burnie. 8pm. $10/$5.
- [](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2007/03/30/398/) - FILMCLIP EXTRAS WANTED I’m looking for Melbourne based extras for a Bedroom Philosopher film clip being made sometime in May. Also, I’m hoping to locate a sunny house to use as the location for the shoot. Something well-lit is a priority, and preferably you don’t mind things being moved around a bit. The shoot will
- [LapTopping - 58 - "Superbia"](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2007/03/30/laptopping-58-superbia/) - --------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------------------------- LapTopping – The Bit Long, Official E-zine of The Bedroom Philosopher --------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------------------------- ISSUE 58 Friday March 30 Estimated Reading Time: 12:13 www.myspace.com/thebedroomphilosopher LapTopping is powered by S.I.I. Mopey Mogul - Self-Importance Industries. **IN THIS ISSUE: THE INAUGURAL LAPTOPPING EMAIL ADDRESS AWARDS** --------------------------------------------------------------------- LT BIRTHDAYS! Happy Birthday Angus Young 48 yesterday! Happy Birthday
- [24th Mar 2007 - 180 Seconds of Heaven or Hell](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2007/03/24/180-seconds-of-heaven-or-hell-north-melbourne-town-hall/) - A night of three minute acts including Town Bikes and C.W. Stoneking. $20/$15. 7:30pm
- [19th to 21st Mar 2007 - Bosco Theatre, Garden of Unearthly Delights ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2007/03/19/bosco-theatre-garden-of-unearthly-delights-adelaide-fringe-festival-930pm/) - @ Adelaide Fringe Festival. 9:30pm.
- [9th Mar 2007 - Supporting Spooky Man's Chorale @ Northcote Town Hall. ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2007/03/09/supporting-spooky-mans-chorale-northcote-town-hall/)
- [16th Mar 2007 - 38 Degrees South Cafe Bar & Lounge, Anglesea](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2007/03/08/south-cafe-bar-lounge-anglesea-details-to-be-confirmed/) - 87 Great Ocean Road. 8pm $10. w/ Dave Thornton. Bookings 03 5263 1010
- [28th Feb 2007 - RMIT City Campus Lunchtime Gig](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2007/02/28/rmit-city-campus-lunchtime-gig-12pm-free/) - 12pm. Free.
- [25th Feb 2007 - Oyster Club @ The Spanish Club. ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2007/02/25/oyster-club-the-spanish-club/) - Johnston St, Fitzroy. $7. Melbourne's premier prog-mirth evening.
- [20th Feb 2007 - Playing @ Bendigo Uni](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2007/02/20/playing-bendigo-uni-bendigo-8pm-cost-unknown/) - Bendigo. 8pm. Cost unknown.
- [LapTopping - 57 -  "Things O'clock"](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2007/02/20/laptopping-things-oclock/) - ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------------- LapTopping – The Bit Long, Official E-zine of The Bedroom Philosopher ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ISSUE 57 Tuesday 20 February Estimated Reading Time: 11:49 www.myspace.com/thebedroomphilosopher This episode of LapTopping is rated ‘W.R.’ for Worth Reading. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- LT BIRTHDAYS! Happy Birthday Kurt Cobain 39 today! Happy Birthday Phil Buckle (Southern Sons) 47 today! Happy Birthday Drew
- [](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2007/02/20/384/) - PHILOSOPHER SEEKS BAND You can apply to be in my band! In a bid to do justice to the musical diversity of the forthcoming album, I am currently trying to gather a consortium of like-minded mis-fits to form The Bedroom Philosopher and the Pooglet Three. The main position vacant is drummer. Must be able to
- [Valentine's Spray (2007)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2007/02/06/valentines-spray-2007/) - If New Year’s Eve is the grand final of Saturday nights, then Valentine’s day is the state championships for romance. Just as the behemoth of social match pressure leaves many asking who spiked their last big night of the year with ‘Socrapnol,’ Valentine’s Day is an expectation fuelled beast, chewing maniacally on greeting card pulp,
- [4th Feb 2007 - The Oyster Club](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2007/02/04/the-oyster-club-melbournes-premium-prog-performance-night/) - Spanish Club Johnston Street. $6.50. 7pm
- [25th Jan 2007 - Mondo Exotica Stage (Lilyworld) @ Sydney Big Day Out](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2007/01/21/lilyworld-stage-sydney-big-day-out/) - (not on current program but there somewhere)
- [28th Jan 2007 - Mondo Exotica Stage (Lilyworld) @ Melbourne Big Day Out](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2007/01/21/lilyworld-stage-melbourne-big-day-out/) - (not on current program but there somewhere)
- [14th Jan 200 - The Oyster Club @ The Spanish Club.](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2007/01/08/the-oyster-club-the-spanish-club/) - 8pm. $7ish. 59 Johnston St. Fitzroy. New alt-performance, prog-comedy evening.
- [](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2007/01/08/367/) - NEWS (Brought to you by Chad Mashups Waterslide Bowling – combining the summer fun of water sliding with the skill of ten pin bowling, simply bowl your ball and then follow it down the four story ‘super loop.’ Even if you don’t knock ‘em all down, you’re sure to get a spare when you come
- [LapTopping - 56 - "Pin Cushion Robots"](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2007/01/06/366/) - ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------------- LapTopping – The Bit Long, Official E-zine of The Bedroom Philosopher ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ISSUE 56 Monday 8 January 2007 Estimated Reading Time: 12:31 www.myspace.com/thebedroomphilosopher **Vote for Folkstar in JJJ”s Hottest 100!** ----------------------------------------------------------------------- WEBMASTERS NOTE! We apologise for the unexpected delay in the processing and shipment of this edition of ‘LapTopping.’ This was due
- [31st Dec 2006 - Falls Festival, Lorne](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2006/12/18/falls-festival-lorne/) - Not sure of time yet - in the big top I think.
- [30th Dec 2006 - Falls Festival, Marion Bay](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2006/12/18/falls-festival-marion-bay/) - Field Stage - not sure of time, around 2pm.
- [7th Dec 2006 - Supporting The Little Stevies @ The Northcote Social Club. ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2006/12/07/supporting-the-little-stevies-the-northcote-social-club/) - 301 High Street, Northcote. 8:30pm. $10
- [20th Nov 2006 - MCing Local Laughs @ The Local, St Kilda. ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2006/11/20/mcing-local-laughs-the-local-st-kilda/) - Cnr Carlisle/Chapel Streets. $7. 8:30pm.
- [24th Oct 2006 - Renegades Of Folk @ LaTrobe University Bundoora Campus](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2006/10/24/renegades-of-folk-latrobe-university-bundoora-campus/) - Along with Tripod. 8pm. Free.
- [](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2006/10/23/361/) - Click Here To Immortalise Folkstar in JJJ's Hot 100 Songs now available on iTunes! Yay Sticks! NEWS (Brought to you by Burp Bacharach, the confounding new drinking game which encourages gassy renditions of classic show tunes. It’s Gastronomical!) • I’ve completed my Melbourne Fringe Show season. It’s been dubbed a success by Bedroom Philosopher insiders.
- [LapTopping - 55 - "Oxygenie"](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2006/10/23/laptopping-55-oxygenie/) - ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------------- LapTopping – The Bit Long, Official E-zine of The Bedroom Philosopher ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ISSUE 55 Monday 23 October 2006 Estimated Reading Time: 11:03 www.myspace.com/thebedroomphilosopher **Two new songs uploaded on Myspace. “Song About The Puppy With The Nappy” (feat. Di Daly) and “I’m So Post Modern’s Cute Nerdy Sister” (feat. Ken Heazlewood) both from
- [21st Oct 2006 - Supporting Arj Barker](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2006/10/21/supporting-arj-barker/) - Clocktower Centre, Moonee Ponds. Melbourne. Tix 03.9243.9191
- [10th to 14th Oct 2006 - Living On The Edge...Of My Bed @ Melbourne Fringe Festival](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2006/10/14/living-on-the-edgeof-my-bed-melbourne-fringe-festival-13/) - The Loft. Lithuanian Club. 44 Errol Street. North Melbourne. $18.50/$15.50. 8pm.
- [3rd to 8th Oct 2006 - Living On The Edge...Of My Bed @ Melbourne Fringe Festival](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2006/10/08/living-on-the-edgeof-my-bed-melbourne-fringe-festival-8/) - The Loft. Lithuanian Club. 44 Errol Street. North Melbourne. $18.50/$15.50. 7pm.
- [30th Sep 2006 - Living On The Edge...Of My Bed @ Melbourne Fringe Festival](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2006/09/30/living-on-the-edgeof-my-bed-melbourne-fringe-festival/) - The Loft. Lithuanian Club. 44 Errol Street. North Melbourne. $18.50/$15.50. 8pm.
- [14th Sep 2006 - HEADLINING MIC IN HAND, SYDNEY. ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2006/09/14/headlining-mic-in-hand-sydney-2/) - Friend In Hand Hotel, Cowper St, Glebe. $10. 8:30pm.
- [13th Sep 2006 - Headlining at The Roxbury's 'Comedy on the Rox'  Sydney. ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2006/09/13/headlining-at-the-roxburys-comedy-on-the-rox-sydney/) - 182 St John's Road, Glebe. 8:30pm.
- [1st Oct 2006 - Living On The Edge...Of My Bed @ Melbourne Fringe Festival](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2006/09/11/living-on-the-edgeof-my-bed-melbourne-fringe-festival-2/) - The Loft. Lithuanian Club. 44 Errol Street. North Melbourne. $18.50/$15.50. 7pm.
- [29th Sep 2006 - Living On The Edge...Of My Bed @ Melbourne Fringe Festival](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2006/09/11/melbourne-fringe-festival-show/) - The Loft. Lithuanian Club. 44 Errol Street. North Melbourne. $18.50/$15.50. 8pm.
- [](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2006/09/10/334/) - The limited edition maxi-single of Folkstar/I’m So Post Modern is available by mail order. Click HERE to put in an order. Details are now up in the DISCOGRAPHY SECTION * I have changed management, parting with Laughing Stock Productions and teaming up with Vanilla Productions, run by the very lovely Saskia Moore. She has previously
- [LapTopping - 54 - "Simon & Garfield"](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2006/09/10/laptopping-54-simon-garfunkle/) - ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------------- LapTopping – The Bit Long, Official E-zine of The Bedroom Philosopher ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ISSUE 54 Monday 11 September 2006 Estimated Reading Time: 10:56 www.bedroomphilosopher.com www.myspace.com/thebedroomphilosopher **NEW SOLO SHOW IN MELBOURNE FRINGE FESTIVAL SEP 29 – OCT 14!** **Sydney gigs this week** ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ALOHA TEAM POOGLET! “The other day I accidentally said ‘Simon and
- [8th Sep 2006 - Renegades Of Folk @ Cornish Arms](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2006/09/08/renegades-of-folk-cornish-arms/) - $10. 8:30pm. Also Dave Callen & Justin Hamilton.
- [28th Aug 2006 - MCing Local Laughs, St Kilda](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2006/08/28/mcing-local-laughs-st-kilda/) - Cnr Carlisle & Chapel Streets. Sammy J & Declan Fay also on. $7. 8:30pm.
- [23rd Aug 2006 - Playing at The Tickle Club (run by The Six)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2006/08/23/playing-at-the-tickle-club-run-by-the-six/) - Butterfly Club. 196 Bank St, South Melbourne. $20/$15 Along with Wes Snelling & Birdman.
- [21st Aug 2006 - Deluxe Spot @ Young N Jackson Comedy Caper](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2006/08/21/deluxe-spot-young-n-jackson-comedy-caper/) - Free.
- [18th Aug 2006 - Melbourne Fringe Festival Fundraiser @ The Empress](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2006/08/01/melbourne-fringe-festival-fundraiser-the-empress/) - Featuring Scod Edgar (Tripod), The Renegades Of Folk, Josh Earl, Matt Kelly & Myself. $10. Cnr Nicholson/Scotchmer, Fitzroy.
- [19th Aug 2006 - Supporting Flacco @ The Rose, Torquay](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2006/08/01/supporting-flacco-the-rose-torquay/) - $15. 9pm. The Rose Restaurant, 220 Great Ocean Rd, Torquay. Bookings (03) 5261 2038
- [16th Aug 2006 - Supporting Flacco @ The Cornish Arms, Melbourne. ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2006/08/01/supporting-flacco-the-cornish-arms/) - $15. 9pm. The Cornish Arms. 163A Sydney Rd, Brunswick. Bookings (03) 9380 8322
- [31st Jul 2006 - Deluxe Spot @ The Local](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2006/07/31/deluxe-spot-the-local-2/) - Cnr Carlisle & Chapel Streets, Balaclava. 8:30pm. $7.
- [26th Jul 2006 - Headlining Bad Ass Comedy](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2006/07/26/headlining-bad-ass-comedy/) - Drifters Alibi - 1 Crockford St. Port Melbourne. 8:30pm $10
- [](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2006/07/26/318/) - Support for Melbourne Flacco Tour plus Melbourne Fringe Fundraiser Aug 18! Check gigs! NEWS (Brought to you by The Big Mermaid. Disney presents this animated action/thriller. After a Russian submarine explodes in the pacific ocean, the toxic fall-out causes our fabled heroine to increase to King Kong proportions! Kids will love this playfully violent musical
- [LapTopping - 53 - "Moog Point"](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2006/07/26/laptopping-53-moog-point/) - ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------------- LapTopping – The Bit Long, Official E-zine of The Bedroom Philosopher ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ISSUE 53 Wednesday 26 July 2006 Estimated Reading Time: 10:05 www.bedroomphilosopher.com www.myspace.com/thebedroomphilosopher **FRINGE FESTIVAL FUNDRAISER @ THE EMPRESS, MELBOURNE, AUGUST 18!** **Supporting Flacco at his upcoming Melbourne shows. Check gigs.** ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ALOHA TEAM POOGLET! “It’s Worry Fest 2006 – a
- [24th Jul 2006 - Deluxe Spot @ The Local](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2006/07/14/deluxe-spot-the-local/) - Cnr Carlisle/Chapel Streets, Balaclava. 8:30pm $7. Josh Earl will also be appearing! Hot!
- [5th Jul 2006 - Edinburgh Fundraiser for Wilson Dixon](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2006/07/04/edinburgh-fundraiser-for-wilson-dixon/) - Wesley Anne, High St, Northcote $15. 8:30pm
- [7th May 2006 - THE RENEGADES OF FOLK](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2006/07/04/the-renegades-of-folk-13/) - Melbourne International Comedy Festival. Duckboard House, 91 Flinders Lane. 7:15pm. $18.50/$15.
- [3rd Jul 2006 - SPOT AT YOUNG N JACKSONS COMEDY ROMP](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2006/07/03/spot-at-young-n-jacksons-comedy-romp/) - Opposite Flinders Street Station. 9pm?
- [28th Jun 2006 - HEADLINING JANGLE GYM, BAR OPEN, FITZROY](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2006/06/28/headlining-jangle-gym-bar-open-fitzroy/) - $5. Night starts 8:30pm. 317 Brunswick St.
- [](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2006/06/26/303/) - • Pooglet is here! The I’m So Post Modern filmclip is finally up! You can see it at the Pooglet section of my website. The resolution is not perfect but should suffice. Again, thanks to everyone who submitted pictures, and please understand that I couldn’t use all of them, and that some of them do
- [LapTopping - 52 - "Putting The Fun In Menfuntal Illness"](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2006/06/26/laptopping-52-putting-the-fun-in-menfuntal-illness/) - ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------------- LapTopping – The Bit Long, Official Team Pooglet! E-zine of The Bedroom Philosopher ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ISSUE 52 Monday 26 June 2006 Estimated Reading Time: 11:13 www.bedroomphilosopher.com www.myspace.com/thebedroomphilosopher **Headlining at Bar Open, Fitzroy on Wednesday 28th June.** ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ALOHA TEAM POOGLET! “May the toasty glow of your disco-pixel joy-visor melt the mint-flint shards of
- [8th Jun 2006 - I'M SO POST MODERN NATIONALISH TOUR! ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2006/05/18/im-so-post-modern-national-tour-mayjune/) - Tue 23 May ADELAIDE – GRACE EMILY HOTEL plus The Beards Thur 25 May MELBOURNE – EAST BRUNSWICK CLUB plus Martin Martini & The Bone Palace Orchestra + Sam Simmons + Josh Earl Sat 27 May HOBART – THE VENUE – plus Matt Sertori + Sam Nicholson Tue 30 May CANBERRA – TOAST – plus
- [](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2006/05/12/297/) - Check 'Pooglet' section for I'm So Post Modern filmclip! www.myspace.com/thebedroomphilosopher to hear new Folkstar! NEWS (Brought to you by the Inappropriate Miner Jokes Bureau. We are the only nationally recognised service for comedians attempting material about the Tasmanian miners. We’ve been in the business green lighting comedians and deciding how long is long enough since
- [LapTopping - 51 - "Cruskits! Cruskits! Cruskits!"](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2006/05/12/laptopping-51-cruskits-cruskits-cruskits/) - ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------------- LapTopping – The Bit Long, Official Team Pooglet! E-zine of The Bedroom Philosopher ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ISSUE 51 Friday 12th May 2006 Estimated Reading Time: 12:46 www.bedroomphilosopher.com www.myspace.com/thebedroomphilosopher **I’m So Post Modern Nationalish Tour May/June ‘06** ----------------------------------------------------------------------- LT BIRTHDAYS! Happy Birthday Emilio Estevez 44 today! Happy Birthday Bea Arthur 82 tomorrow! Happy Birthday Danny
- [2nd to 6th to May 2006 - THE RENEGADES OF FOLK](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2006/05/06/the-renegades-of-folk-12/) - Melbourne International Comedy Festival. Duckboard House, 91 Flinders Lane. 7:15pm. $18.50/$15.
- [26th to 28th Apr 2006 - THE RENEGADES OF FOLK](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2006/04/28/the-renegades-of-folk-7/) - Melbourne International Comedy Festival. Duckboard House, 91 Flinders Lane. 7:15pm. $18.50/$15.
- [20th to 23rd Apr 2006 - THE RENEGADES OF FOLK](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2006/04/23/the-renegades-of-folk-4/) - Melbourne International Comedy Festival. Duckboard House, 91 Flinders Lane. 6:15pm. $18.50/$15.
- [13th to 19th Apr 2006 - THE RENEGADES OF FOLK](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2006/04/17/the-renegades-of-folk-are-the-renegades-of-folk-6/) - Melbourne International Comedy Festival. Duckboard House, 91 Flinders Lane. 7:15pm. $18.50/$15.
- [](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2006/04/11/272/) - Tour details: Tue 23 May ADELAIDE – GRACE EMILY HOTEL plus The Beards Thur 25 May MELBOURNE – EAST BRUNSWICK CLUB plus Martin Martini & The Bone Palace Orchestra + Sam Simmons (Barry award nominee 2006) + Josh Earl (Renegades of Folk) Sat 27 May HOBART – THE VENUE – plus Matt Sertori + Sam
- [LapTopping - 50 - "Folk Shui"](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2006/04/11/laptopping-50-folk-shui/) - ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------------- LapTopping - The Bit Long, Official Ezine Thing of The Bedroom Philosopher ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ISSUE 50 Tuesday April 11th 2006 Estimated Reading Time: 10:24 www.bedroomphilosopher.com www.myspace.com/thebedroomphilosopher www.myspace.com/renegadesoffolk **RENEGADES OF FOLK @ The Melbourne International Comedy Festival. April 13 – May 7** ----------------------------------------------------------------------- LT BIRTHDAYS! Happy Birthday Claire Danes 27 tomorrow! Happy Birthday Shannen
- [4th Apr 2006 - Featuring at Babble Spoken Word Concern, Bar Open](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2006/03/30/featuring-at-babble-spoken-word-concern-bar-open-317-brunswick-streetfitzroy-5/) - 317 Brunswick StreetFitzroy. $5. Lovely night of spoken shananagins. I'll be doing some readings of some stories that I wrote.
- [29th Mar 2006 - LOUNGEROOM @ Veludo Bar](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2006/03/27/loungeroom-veludo-bar-175-acland-street-st-kilda-9pm-free/) - Also appearing Rob Longstaff, Antonella @ Soarin.
- [27th Mar 2006 - MCing at Local Laughs @ The Local, St Kilda. ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2006/03/27/mcing-at-local-laughs-the-local-st-kilda/) - Corner Carlisle/Chapel Streets. Best Comedy Night in Melbourne! $7. 8:30pm. Other acts include the wonderful Andy McClelland and Lawrence Leung.
- [26th Mar 2006 - Comedy C'mon Down @ The Cue](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2006/03/26/comedy-cmon-down-the-cue-brunswick-street-melbourne/) - The Cue, 277 Brunswick Street, Fitzroy. 8pm? $5. Yippee.
- [17th Mar 2006 - Laughapoolooza, Adelaide Fringe Festival](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2006/03/17/laughapoolooza-adelaide-fringe-festival-4/) - At the Umbrella Revolution in the Garden of Unearthly Delights. 11pm. Other acts include Tripod. $20 I think.
- [LapTopping - 49 - "Tremolo Spacemouse"](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2006/03/11/laptopping-49-tremolo-spacemouse/) - ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------------- LapTopping - The Bit Long, Official Ezine Thing of The Bedroom Philosopher ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ISSUE 49 Sunday March 12 2006 Subscribers: 1120 Estimated Reading Time: 10:24 www.bedroomphilosopher.com **Melbourne Welcome Home Gig @ Rob Roy March 23 with Scod from Tripod!** ----------------------------------------------------------------------- LT BIRTHDAYS! Happy Birthday James Taylor 57 today! Happy Birthday Liza Minnelli
- [](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2006/03/11/261/) - Ahoy joymints! I took down the Acoustic Megamix MP3 cos I haven't quite got the right permission to put it up there. But it shouldn't take much longer. In the meantime - there's other Bedroom Philosopher tracks availble for sampling in the 'Discography' section. Hooray sticks! NEWS (Brought to you by complications. The tasty new
- [23rd Mar 2006 - ROB ROY HOTEL, MELBOURNE](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2006/03/08/rob-roy-hotel-melbourne/) - Feature gig, with very special guests Scod Edgar (Tripod) and Josh Earl!
- [3rd Mar 2006 - Laughapoolooza, Adelaide Fringe Festival. ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2006/03/03/laughapoolooza-adelaide-fringe-festival-3/) - Umbrella Revolution, (Check local guides)
- [28th Feb 2006 - Laughapoolooza, Adelaide Fringe Festival. ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2006/02/21/laughapoolooza-adelaide-fringe-festival-2/) - At Umbrella Revolution, Check Local Guides!
- [21st Feb 2006 - Laughapoolooza, Adelaide Fringe Festival. ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2006/02/21/laughapoolooza-adelaide-fringe-festival/) - At Umbrella Revolution, Check Local Guides!
- [27th Feb 2006 - COMEDY HOLE, SANDRINGHAM HOTEL, NEWTOWN.](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2006/02/21/comedy-hole-sandringham-hotel-newtown/) - Headlining!
- [25th Feb 2006 - MANDARIN CLUB, SYDNEY](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2006/02/16/mandarin-club-sydney-2/) - FEATURE GIG with Tug Dumbly & Richard In Your Mind
- [16th  Feb 2006 - HEADLINING AT TOAST, CANBERRA](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2006/02/11/headlining-at-toast-canberra/) - • Thursday 16th February. FEATURE GIG at Toast Café Bar (Above Electric Shadow Cinemas)
- [LapTopping - 48 - "Uma Thermos"](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2006/02/08/laptopping-48-uma-thermos/) - -------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------------------- LapTopping - The Bit Long, Official Ezine Thing of The Bedroom Philosopher -------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ISSUE 48 Wednesday February 8th 2006 Subscribers: 1114 Estimated Reading Time: 9:45 www.bedroomphilosopher.com **I’m So Post Modern film clip on Rage Friday 17th Feb starting 11:30pm. Number 72** -------------------------------------------------------------------------- LT BIRTHDAYS! Happy Birthday James Dean 75 today! Happy Birthday
- [](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2006/02/08/250/) - Ahoy joymints! There's been a lot of demand for the Hottest 100 acoustic megamix. Good. We're currently in negotiation with the station and an MP3 will be appearing on JJJ and/or this website soon. NEWS (brought to you Frazer Follix’s Personality Beam! Every been sitting next to a stranger at the bus-stop wishing you could
- [](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2006/02/08/249/) - Aloha Lovelyface! Please enjoy my websitery. NEWS (brought to you Frazer Follix’s Personality Beam! Every been sitting next to a stranger at the bus-stop wishing you could insert the personality of a close friend into them and have a decent chat? Now you can. The personality beam stores the DNA make-up of up to three
- [9th Feb 2006 - Sleepers Almanac Launch, Melbourne. ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2006/02/02/sleepers-almanac-launch-melbourne/) - Upstairs at Dante's. Cnr Gertude and Napier Streets, Fitzroy. 6pm. Free.
- [19th Jan 2006 - Mandarin Club, Sydney](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2006/01/15/mandarin-club-sydney/) - Last Sydney Gig For Ages!
- [](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2006/01/10/241/) - I'M SO POST MODERN FILM CLIP CALLOUT CLOSING SOON! Aloha Moogwagon! Basically, if you'd like to potentially be in the 'I'm So Post Modern' filmclip - email me your pictures by this Friday! Preferably outlandish interesting photos of anything really. Nan's and cats and headshots are popular. Or why not try and recreate a line
- [Men Are Pawns, Women Are Queens. (2007)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2006/01/10/men-are-pawns-women-are-queens-2007/) - They say it takes two to tango, and you can’t make an omelette without breaking a few eggs – but the truth is, if you’re lonely, and you’ve drunk too much Stone’s green ginger, it’s not that hard to put on Amelie with the picture down and dance yourself into oblivion, clumsily removing pieces of
- [Farewell to BMA (2007)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2006/01/10/farewell-to-bma-2007/) - Four years ago, a small, poor Tasmanian boy came to Canberra, down on his luck, with only a Beck cassette and a brown vintage suit to his name. He spent his time as a horse whisper at the Civic carousel, but this meant working long, voluntary hours, so he quit there and took on a
- [People Are More Scared Of You (2006)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2006/01/10/people-are-more-scared-of-you-2006/) - There’s a lot of things I like about old people. Their cardigans and slacks fashion sensibility. Their passion for storytelling. Their lo-fi attempts to understand popular culture. Their predisposition to whistle in public places. And, probably most of all, their generally friendly nature. We’ve all had the experience of being zonked out on public transport,
- [Bloody Streetpress. It's All Ads! (2006)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2006/01/10/bloody-streetpress-its-all-ads/) - Sometimes I think people take streetpress for granted. I mean, really, how many times have you walked past the latest edition of BMA thinking ‘oh yeah, I suppose I’ll get one, seeing as though they’re there.’ C’mon! Streetpress is a hyped-up turbo typeset of omnicolour pulp-beans and sub-cultural superscenery! It’s a defiant oblong flat-pack of
- [Childhood (2006)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2006/01/10/junior-justin-and-the-blossuming-nippers-2006/) - I remember when I was about five I used to amuse myself by scampering around to the local Telecom phone box, picking up the receiver, pressing some random numbers and having pretend conversations with Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck and Goofy. The particulars of these discussions is appropriately vague and mysterious. I suppose ‘we’ discussed the
- [Lullapoolooza (2006)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2006/01/10/lullapoolooza-2006/) - Its 10am, Monday morning and I'm stocktaking my emotions for the millionth time. Another restless night in bed has left me feeling like the test patient in an experiment on insomniacs, but when I wake there are no men in white coats with fresh printouts to tell me if I'm normal or not just breakfast,
- [Confessions Of A Nice, Awkward, Lonely Womaniser (2006)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2006/01/10/confessions-of-an-awkward-lonely-indie-womaniser-2006/) - It’s official. The novelty of being single has worn off. Chance encounters of intimacy are being chalked up as vacuous and desperate. The 3am party/bar deal-sealing perve scan is clumsy and unfulfilling. On cold Friday nights there is a lonely patch on the couch where a cuddle-savvy girlfriend should be – a giggling navigator for
- [My First Wedding (2006)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2006/01/10/my-first-wedding-2006/) - NOTE: In a nod towards professional integrity, the name of the DJ has been omitted. I just went to my first wedding. At twenty-six, for a long time I had been the oldest person I knew who had never been to a wedding, this drought due to a tiny extended family and emotionally disorganised friends.
- [Fun Size Suicide (2006)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2006/01/10/fun-size-suicide-2006/) - I’ve just passed my ten year anniversary of smoking – rewarding myself with a burnt ash cake, complete with tar cream and nicotine icing, with one lit cigarette in the middle which I can’t quite gather the lung capacity to cough out. My only wish? To quit. I compare my addiction to cigarettes to that
- ["Burns!" (2006)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2006/01/09/sideburns/) - Growing up, you realise that it’s rare for things to turn out exactly how you want them to, and even rarer for your expectations to be exceeded. Most dreams don’t quite come true. Neither do wishes. Life is a bit too literal for that kind of whimsy. Except when it comes to one thing. One
- [One Day In Sydney (2006)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2006/01/09/one-day-in-sydney-2006/) - It’s overcast today. The air has a tinge of fridge door freshness as I walk along the street. (must be the Woolworths hopper I just passed.) Branches are restless, a man operates a whipper snipper on the nature strip while the dehydrating puddles are swished around by the wind, leaving vaguely mathematical spirals. I’m hung
- [The Bedroom Philosopher's xoxo Policy (2006)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2006/01/09/the-bedroom-philosophers-xoxo-policy-2006/) - Sometimes, when I write ‘Love Just’ on the end of an email, I get an urge to include this disclaimer: (Note: If you are uncomfortable with use of word 'love' please downgrade to 'Cheers, Just' If you are disappointed with the absence of xx's . Please add them in your head.) How much do you
- ["Can I look down your undies?" - Homebake Report (2006)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2006/01/09/can-i-look-down-your-undies-homebake-report-2006/) - In December last year I attended the fuzzing ozrockapoolooza of ‘Homebake.’ The day began with an ill-advised meeting with one of my vaguest friends, Adam. We agreed to meet at Museum station, not taking into account that this particular train station has four different entrances. After a fidgety fifteen minutes, I went without him, as
- [New Year's Grieve (2005)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2006/01/09/new-years-grieve/) - New year’s eve can be a dazzling, charming, life-affirming celebration of the lovable mischief of friends, the heart-spicing marinate of alcohol and the star-blazing sense of grandeur and primeval humility that resetting the clock to O:OO:OO can bring. It can also be a moody, brain curdling shit-thicket. For Justin Heazlewood, the last two new years
- [LapTopping - 47 - "Yaytona!"](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2006/01/07/laptopping-47-yaytona/) - -------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------------------- LapTopping - The Bit Long, Official Ezine Thing of The Bedroom Philosopher -------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ISSUE 47 Saturday January 7th 2006 Subscribers: 1058 Estimated Reading Time: 11:31 www.bedroomphilosopher.com **Vote for ‘I’m So Pomo in Triple J’s Hottest 100! Closes Jan 20. Instructions below** -------------------------------------------------------------------------- EDITOR’S NOTE: This issue of LapTopping was deemed so crucial
- [31st Dec 2005 - Tasmanian Falls Festival, Marion Bay. ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2005/12/31/tasmanian-falls-festival-marion-bay/) - Appearing for fifteen life-affirming minutes on the Field Stage! Will another seventeen year old girl offer to have my baby? Stay tuned.
- [28th Dec 2005 - BLT CHRISTMAS SHOW, HOBART!](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2005/12/28/blt-christmas-show-hobart/) - New Sydney Hotel 87 Bathurst Street, Hobart. Headlining the wonderful new comedy night that’s going on here. 8:30pm. Free!
- [19th Dec 2005 - Local Laughs - St Kilda, Melbourne.](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2005/12/19/local-laughs-st-kilda-melbourne/) - Dave Callan Mcing - $7. Night starts 8:30pm. The Local. Cnr Carlisle and Chapel Streets, St Kilda. LAST MELBOURNE GIG THIS YEAR!
- [](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2005/12/15/233/) - Aloha Tiggerfolk! Play the new game: ROCK STAR! BAND NAME! HIT SINGLE! How to play: A) Work out your rock star name. FIRST NAME: This is your nan or pop’s first name hyphenated with your SECOND pet’s name. SURNAME: Your second ever street name. For example, my Pop’s name is Leonard. My second ever pet
- [LapTopping - 46 -  "Coloured Popcorn"](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2005/12/14/laptopping-46-coloured-popcorn/) - -------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------------------- LapTopping - The Bit Long, Official Ezine Thing of The Bedroom Philosopher -------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ISSUE 46 Wednesday December 14 2005 Subscribers: 1000 (We’ve sort of lost count but let’s celebrate!) Estimated Reading Time: 9:58 www.bedroomphilosopher.com **LapTopping acknowledges the recent double-blow of V.S.U. legislation being abolished and Kevin McQuay AKA Big Kev passing away.
- [16th Dec 2005 - SISTA SHE FUNDRAISER, @NEWTOWN](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2005/12/08/sista-she-fundraiser-newtown-2/) - Supporting Sista She plus other rocking ladeez, raising money for their Adelaide Fringe season. Sista She are AMAZINGLY good, if you haven't seen them before. I will be whipping out a brand new 'Christmas Song' of some description! @Newtown/Petersham RSL. Enmore Road, Newtown. Friday 16th December. Doors open 7pm. Gig starts 9pm. $15/$12. Should be
- [6th Dec 2005 - Hopetoun Hotel, Surry Hills, Sydney. ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2005/11/29/houpton-hotel/) - An acoustic night with a couple of other acts including 'Matt Downey' and 'Jamie.' I'm on 9-9:30pm. Doors open 8pm. $6. Hopetoun Hotel, 416 Bourke Street, Surry Hills.
- [ The 'Blasko-Zone' (2005)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2005/11/27/sarah-blasko-gatecrashes-my-arias-article-2005/) - I watched the ARIA’s recently with my usual mix of gentle jealousy and hormonally creative fascination at the hypothetical plethora of deluxe flirting opportunities one could encounter at an after party with Australian music royalty. I mean, I’ve never been to one – but could easily imagine myself swaying nervously in a darkened corner, flicker-peeking
- [](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2005/11/22/221/) - Welcome Pixel Cutey! Play my new game ROCK STAR NAME! BAND NAME! HIT SINGLE! How to play: A) Work out your rock star name. FIRST NAME: This is your nan or pop’s first name hyphenated with your SECOND pet’s name. SURNAME: Your second ever street name. For example, my Pop’s name is Leonard. My second
- [LapTopping - 45 -  "Simultaneous Chow Daze Jr"](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2005/11/21/laptopping-45-simultaneous-chow-daze-jr/) - -------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------------------- LapTopping - The Bit Long, Official Ezine Thing of The Bedroom Philosopher -------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ISSUE 45 Monday 21st November 2005 Subscribers: 987 Estimated Reading Time: 11:42 www.bedroomphilosopher.com **LAST SYDNEY GIG FOR THE YEAR THIS THURSDAY** -------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------------------- LT BIRTHDAYS! Happy Birthday Bjork 39 today! Happy Birthday Harold Ramis 60 today! Happy Birthday Scarlett
- [24th Nov 2006 - HEADLINING MIC IN HAND, SYDNEY. ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2005/11/20/headlining-mic-in-hand-sydney/) - Headlining at Mic in Hand, Friend in hand hotel, Cowper Street, Glebe. Night starts 8:30pm. Me on 9:30 ish. $10 suggested donation. Most likely last Sydney gig this year. Be lovely to hear you guffawing.
- [](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2005/11/10/214/) - Welcome pixel cutey! Here is some news that is fairly bloody recent! Cruskit Disco!! 1* - I've moved to Sydney for a couple of months to write for a new sketch show on Channel 10 called: THE RONNIE JOHNS HALF HOUR It is going to be on this Wednesday at 10:05pm. I wrote all the
- [2nd Nov 2006 - Rapid Fire UNSW this WED!](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2005/10/30/rapid-fire-unsw-wed-2nd-nov/) - Headlining ‘Rapid Fire’ comedy concern. University of New South Wales Roundhouse on Anzac Pde in Kensington. (Nearest cross street is High St) Starts 7pm. Free.
- [6th to 8th Oct 2006 - Renegades of Folk](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2005/10/07/renegades-of-folk-5/) - Fringe Festival Show at Bar Open Friday October 7th.
- [5th Oct 2005 - Rapid Fire](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2005/09/30/rapid-fire/) - University of New South Wales Roundhouse on Anzac Pde in Kensington.
- [30th Sep 2005 - This Is Not Art festival](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2005/09/30/this-is-not-art-festival/) - ... including a comedy workshop and a panel called ‘help! I’m a creative vampire’.
- [29th Sep 2005 - Renegades Of Folk](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2005/09/29/renegades-of-folk/) - RENEGADES OF FOLK DEBUT SYDNEY SHOW! This is Josh Earl and myself teaming up for delicate prog-comedy electro-parody carnage. Mic in Hand. Friend in Hand Hotel, Cowper st, Glebe. $11. (it’s just gone up)
- [28th Sep 2005 - Jangle Gym](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2005/09/27/jangle-gym/) - MCing the Jangle Gym, a massive line-up for the Fringe Festival.
- [26th Sep 2005 - Renegades of Folk](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2005/09/27/renegades-of-folk-3/) - Renegades of Folk appearing at The Local, Cnr Carlisle and Chapel St, St Kilda. $7.
- [16th Sep 2005 - Funnybone 500](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2005/09/16/funnybone-500/) - Performing at the launch of the ‘Funnybone 500’ a funny short film festival. At the Willoughby Civic Centre. 409 Victoria Ave, Chatswood, Sydney. (just down from the mall. It’s next to Chatswood library.)
- [15th Sep 2005 - Voiceworks Launch](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2005/09/15/voiceworks-launch/) - I’m MCing the Voiceworks launch at Trades Hall, Cnr Lygon St & Victoria St, Melbourne. The theme is futureshock! There will be lovely readings by spunky young writer’s, an experimental noise band Dry Lake, AND that sonic manipulator space guy you see on street corners sometimes. Also the world debut of ‘FORTUNE CRUSKITS!’
- [LapTopping - 44 - "Team Pooglet!"](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2005/09/14/laptopping-44-team-pooglet/) - -------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------------------- LapTopping - The Bit Long, Official Ezine Thing of The Bedroom Philosopher -------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ISSUE 44 Wednesday 14th September 2005 Subscribers: 961 Estimated Reading Time: 9:12 (can be refunded in a special afterlife promotion) **This is a special issue that asks you to do things. They are fun and not overwhelming** -------------------------------------------------------------------------- WELCOME
- [](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2005/09/14/208/) - Welcome Pooglet! bedroomphilosopher.com is here! It's pixelfest '05! Thanks to Kilbot and Tamicita! (brought to you by Dr Sludsy’s ‘Haiku Wipes.’ Now you can enjoy our handi-pak of lemony towelettes artfully etched with a variety of early 19th century Japanese poetry) • The Tripod tour of regional W.A. was a success! The Tripod boys were
- [](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2005/09/14/189/) - Hello you vivacious pixelcutey! You have vagued upon The Bedroom Philosopher’s official website ‘under construction since 2002.’ Well guess what - it’s going to be FINISHED within a month. I promise. Please come back. I have abandonment issues. C’mon - just give me one more month, I promise - the websites in the bag mate…honest….c’mon…I
- [](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2005/09/14/187/) - Hello you vivacious pixelcutey! You have vagued upon The Bedroom Philosopher's official website 'under construction since 2002.' Well guess what - it's going to be FINISHED within a month. I promise. Please come back. I have abandonment issues. C'mon - just give me one more month, I promise - the websites in the bag mate...honest....c'mon...I
- [](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2005/08/19/186/) - Aloha my dear (insert name) This electronic smugglepot of candid flamebix is in the process of being carved out of lavander solar grits. The album ‘In Bed With My Doona’ featuring ‘I’m so postmodern’ is now available in all good record emporiums. (You might have to convince the indie maestro behind the counter that it
- [](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2005/08/17/232/) - (brought to you by Alien Vs Shirley Temple, new from Dreamworks pictures. State of the art technology pits a race of flesh eating aliens up against a formidable force of candy lane dance sequences and technicolour sweetness) • Supermega acoustafunsters Tripod have asked me to support them on their forthcoming regional tour of Western Australia.
- [](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2005/08/17/185/) - Aloha my dear (insert name) This electronic smugglepot of candid flamebix is in the process of being carved out of lavander solar grits. The album ‘In Bed With My Doona’ featuring ‘I’m so postmodern’ is now available in all good record emporiums. (You might have to convince the indie maestro behind the counter that it
- [](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2005/08/14/188/) - Hello you vivacious pixelcutey! You have vagued upon The Bedroom Philosopher’s official website ‘under construction since 2002.’ Well guess what - it’s going to be FINISHED within a month. I promise. Please come back. I have abandonment issues. C’mon - just give me one more month, I promise - the websites in the bag mate…honest….c’mon…I
- [](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2005/07/19/184/) - Aloha my dear (insert name) This electronic smugglepot of candid flamebix is in the process of being carved out of lavander solar grits. The album ‘In Bed With My Doona’ featuring ‘I’m so postmodern’ is now available in all good record emporiums. (You might have to convince the indie maestro behind the counter that it
- [](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2005/07/19/183/) - Aloha my dear (insert name) This electronic smugglepot of candid flamebix is in the process of being carved out of lavander solar grits. The album ‘In Bed With My Doona’ featuring 'I'm so postmodern' is now available in all good record emporiums. (You might have to convince the indie maestro behind the counter that it
- [](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2005/07/19/182/) - Aloha my dear (insert name) This webpage is as temporary as the American presence in Iraq. It is also, 'under construction' and will be 'liberated' very soon. The album 'In Bed With My Doona' is now available in all good record emporiums. Or, you can buy online here: http://www.sanity.com.au/product.asp?intProductID=619414&intArtistID=205093 To contact management: chris@laughingstock.com.au To contact
- [26th Aug 2005 - The Conglomerate](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2005/07/16/the-conglomerate-3/) - Playing a 15 minute filler set for ‘The Conglomerate’ (featuring Harry from the Cat Empire) Bennett’s Lane. Night starts 8:30pm I think.
- [LapTopping - 42 -  "LillyPilly"](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2005/07/16/laptopping-42-lillypilly-2/) - -------------------------------------------------------------------------- LapTopping….The Official Ezine Thing of The Bedroom Philosopher -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Now with Procrastinay 4: A subroutered serif splicing unicode specifically designed to assist your productivity WHILE you procrastinate! -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ISSUE 42 Saturday 16th July 2005 Subscribers: 801 Estimated Reading Time: 9:05 In Bed With My Doona is now available in all good record emporiums, or
- [](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2005/07/16/204/) - (brought to you by Channel 31s Falling On Thick Sand! 12 celebrities. 140 angry camels. One Egyptian rodeo. 6 weeks to survive the odds and hone their skills for a truly obscure webcast that not even the sungods can predict!) • Little cerebral avant garde folk comedy engine that could…Im So Post-modern will be featured
- [22nd Aug 2005 - Bedroom Philosopher spot at the Local](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2005/07/13/bedroom-philosopher-spot-at-the-local/)
- [29th Jul 2005 - Albury Uni extravaganza.](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2005/07/13/albury-uni-extravaganza/) - Not sure where exactly. I daresay, if you go to Albury uni, you’ll know more than me. Probably 9pm start.
- [1st Aug 2005 - Renegades of Folk are MCing the Local!](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2005/07/13/renegades-of-folk-are-mcing-the-local/) - Witness the palpable comedy emotion. Last time Josh got sick but this time he’s back and he’s rather pleasant about it all. The Local. Cnr Carlisle and Chapel, Balaclava. 8:30pm start. Grand public debut of new Renegade additions of ‘Frontier Psychiatrist’ and ‘Jump Around.’ (House of Pain)
- [6th Aug 2005 - Poetry spot for Overload poetry festival.](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2005/07/13/poetry-spot-for-overload-poetry-festival/) - Knox Community arts centre. Cnr Mountain Highway and Scoresby road, Bayswater. 7pm.
- [15th Aug 2005 - Another poetry spot.](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2005/07/13/another-poetry-spot/) - Swinburne Prahan Campus Training Restaurant. Johns street, Prahan. 7pm start.
- [17th Aug 2005 - Wordjammin](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2005/07/13/wordjammin/) - Guest festure for launch of ‘Wordjammin’ spoken word CD. Bar Open, 317 Brunswick street, Fitzroy. 8:30pm or something.
- [27th Jul 2005 - Headlining at the Australian Songwriter’s Association’s ‘Jangle Gym.’ ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2005/07/13/headlining-at-the-australian-songwriters-associations-jangle-gym/) - Bar Open 317 Brunswick Street. Fitzroy. 8:30pm doors open. I’ll be on about 10:30pm. (Doing a rare performance of mostly serious originals…) $5.
- [12th Aug / 19th Aug 2005 - The Conglomerate](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2005/07/13/the-conglomerate/) - Playing a 15 minute filler set for ‘The Conglomerate’ (featuring Harry from the Cat Empire) Bennett’s Lane. Night starts 8:30pm I think.
- [](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2005/06/26/156/) - Hello my dearest, precious . This is The Bedroom Philosopher here personally saying 'radishes'. Thankyou for loving me unconditionally. Or, if not, at least, loving yourself unconditionally, or, failing that - just go and have some cordial or something. My email is: justin@bedroomphilosopher.com. Even though I am a prized multi-national entity - I am always
- [](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2005/06/26/155/) - text
- [Quarter Life Crisis (2005)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2005/06/09/quarter-life-crisis/) - I’m about to turn 25. Yay me. A time to drink a lot of punch, swan around at my own party and try desperately not to repeat the murky anti-climax of last year’s ‘hosting my own party syndrome’ where I spent the entire evening in some damp, drunken, hyper-aware state of worrying about everyone having
- [](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2005/06/01/84/) - (Brought to you by Browny Maelstrom’s Canteen of Green. Now with three caravan’s across Australia offering freshly steamed broccoli in the convenience of a nugget ) • My debut studio album “In Bed With My Doona” has secured national distribution through MGM in conjunction with Nan and Pop Records. This means that, in theory, you
- [LapTopping - 41 - "OK Confuser"](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2005/06/01/laptopping-41-ok-confuser/) - -------------------------------------------------------------------------- LspTopping - The Official Ezine Thing of The Bedroom Philosopher -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Issue 41 - Wednesday 1st June 2005 Estimated Reading Time: 8:20 Subscribers: 776 **’In Bed With My Doona’ is now available in shops otherpluckers!** (see news section) or buy it now here cheekily: http://www.sanity.com.au/product.asp?intProductID=619414&intArtistID=205093 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- LT BIRTHDAYS! Happy Birthday Deborah Harry 60 today!
- [](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2005/03/29/83/) - (Brought to you by Faggy Mathgroin’s New “Calcu-Creams” - A disposable, single use calculator wedged between layers of thick, double mint icecream’) • I found out that “I’m So Post Modern” officially finished 180 in Triple J’s Hottest 100. As the station producer reminded me, this is a very fine result. I wish to again
- [LapTopping - 40 - "Cooee Cordial"](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2005/03/29/laptopping-25-cooee-cordial/) - -------------------------------------------------------------------------- LapTopping Issue 40 Tuesday 29th March 2005 Estimated Reading Time: 7:42 Subscribers: 585 **Melbourne International Comedy Festival The Bedroom Philosopher in ‘PYJAMARAMA’** -------------------------------------------------------------------------- LAPTOPPING AT A GLANCE! -------Opening Ceremony With Justin. -------PYJAMARAMA Positions Vacant. -------Inanimate Objects – Sick Travel Clock from Taryn Cornell -------Hap-Hap-Happy Top 5 from Jen Jewel-Brown -------Kerry's bit. -------Latest News &
- [](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2005/03/01/82/) - (Brought to you by Dr Yipp’s Cocktail Crunch Bars. Try new Vermouth and Yoghurt!’ ) • For a couple of weeks in February I was the face of Duo condoms. I was sitting on Brunswick Street and was vox popped by a Channel V girl who asked me what songs I used to get a
- [LapTopping - 39 - "Plough Through, Sunshine!"](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2005/03/01/laptopping-39-plough-through-sunshine/) - R.I.P Hunter S. Thompson (1937 – 2005) -------------------------------------------------------------------------- LapTopping Issue 39 Tuesday 1st March 2005 Estimated Reading Time: 8:03 (longer if you spend time at the song workshop) **Sydney gigs-a-gogo** -------------------------------------------------------------------------- LAPTOPPING AT A GLANCE! -------Top 5 Funny Sounding Train Stations Between Newcastle And Sydney And Their Meanings -------Justin’s Dream Analysed! -------Inanimate Objects – Sick
- [](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2005/02/21/81/) - (Brought to you by ‘The Fulmeep’s’ SBS at 3:30am. The prelude to the New Zealand logies’ ) • The Bedroom Philosopher's debut studio album 'In Bed With My Doona has reached aluminium status with sales hitting the 100 mark in late January. Nan and Pop records have noted that previous release ‘Living on the edge…of
- [LapTopping - 38 - "Rodeo Ga-Ga"](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2005/02/21/laptopping-38-rodeo-ga-ga/) - -------------------------------------------------------------------------- LapTopping Issue 38 Monday 21st February 2005 Estimated Reading Time: 11:13 (For optimum reading pleasure The LapTopping team suggests copying into word, printing out and reading on public transport. Please do not take your computer screen with you, or attempt to trace over the words with tracing paper.) -------------------------------------------------------------------------- LAPTOPPING AT A GLANCE! -------In-Animate
- [](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2005/01/27/80/) - (Brought to you by ‘Then You Whack It!' the autobiographical pamphlet from child cricket superstar Rhodey Fleurhammer’ ) • My website will hopefully be ready within 2 weeks. • My Mum saw me perform in Hobart for the first time in 6 years. She liked it all except the bit where I say I look
- [LapTopping - 37 - "Kerfuffle!"](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2005/01/27/laptopping-37-kerfuffle/) - -------------------------------------------------------------------------- LapTopping Issue 37 Thursday January 27th 2005 ** Laughapoolooza musical comedy gala Kaliede Theatre this Friday, Saturday night** Estimated Reading Time: 5:11 Word for the day: Midrovert. (When you are halfway between introverted and extroverted) ------------------------------------------------------------------------- LAPTOPPING INFREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS Q. How many people are signed up to LapTopping? A. About 560 Q. How
- [](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2005/01/04/79/) - (Brought to you by ‘flatulale! The controversial new musical caravan by Les bowel irritables ) • For Christmas from my mum and nan and pop I got an organiser, (a book, not a paid helper), thongs, chocolate, a ‘tranquil Australia 2005’ calander, some socks, some second hand thermal singlets my nan got off a friend,
- [LapTopping - 36 - "Hope Marbles"](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2005/01/04/laptopping-36-hope-marbles/) - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- This issue of LapTopping is humbly dedicated to those suffering from the Psunami. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- LapTopping Issue 36 Tuesday January 4th 2005 ** You can vote for ‘I’m So Post Modern’ in Triple J’s Hottest 100** **Deadline January 21st! Read! Vote! Love!** Estimated Reading Time: 7:24 (We appreciate that your eyes are itchy) ------------------------------------------------------------------------- LT
- [LapTopping - 35 - "Jelly Cricket"](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2004/12/13/laptopping-35-jelly-cricket/) - -------------------------------------------------------------------------- "When things need dropping. Read LapTopping!" -------------------------------------------------------------------------- LapTopping Issue 35 Monday 13th December 2004 ** Bedroom Philosopher Triple J OzMusicShow interview tonight (Monday) between 9-11pm. JJJ FM** Estimated Reading Time: 8:02 (The LapTopping team recognises that you are very busy and this week has just been mad) -------------------------------------------------------------------------- LT BIRTHDAYS Happy Birthday Don Johnson
- [LapTopping - 34 - "Mellow Freddo"](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2004/11/19/laptopping-34-mellow-freddo/) - -------------------------------------------------------------------------- LapTopping Issue 34 Friday 19th Novemer 2004 ** Last B.P. Melbourne Show This Year + Gnet Phifty ** Estimated Reading Time: 4:52 (Approximately the amount of time the cat watches you for after you’ve put food in its bowl and before it starts eating it) -------------------------------------------------------------------------- LT BIRTHDAYS Happy Birthday Jodie Foster 42 today!
- [LapTopping - 33 - "Smackdown"](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2004/11/11/laptopping-33-smackdown/) - -------------------------------------------------------------------------- LapTopping Issue 33 **Request ‘I’m so Postmodern’ on Triple J! Yay!** Thursday 11th Novemer 2004 Estimated Reading Time: 7:24 (Approximately the amount of time that conversation about mobile phone plans dragged out for) -------------------------------------------------------------------------- LT BIRTHDAYS Happy Birthday Demi Moore 43 today! Happy Birthday Bruce Samazan 34 Saturday! -------------------------------------------------------------------------- On this day in 1993
- [Justin's Annual Report 2003/04 (2004)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2004/11/11/justins-annual-report/) - JUSTIN’S ANNUAL REPORT INCOME: Newstart Allowance: $8429 The Bedroom Philosopher: $4009 Centre For Adult Education: $1101 Pinnacle Hospitality Agency: $236 Total: $13775 TAX DEDUCTIBLE STUFF Centre For Adult Education: $40 The Bedroom Philosopher : $1293 (I even claimed my pyjamas and doona cover this year) RESULT: Tax debt of $420 Money in wallet: $85 Money
- [LapTopping - 32 - "Mr Whiffy"](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2004/10/14/laptopping-32-mr-whiffy/) - -------------------------------------------------------------------------- LapTopping Issue 32 Thursday 14th October 2004 Estimated Reading Time: 7:11 (Approximately the amount of time you spend looking for those sunnies) -------------------------------------------------------------------------- LT BIRTHDAYS Happy Birthday Roger Moore 77 today! Happy Birthday Jean-Claude Van Damme 44 Monday! -------------------------------------------------------------------------- DAMN POP UP ADS! Aloha how’s going? Did you get your $10 back? Whittle your
- [LapTopping - 31 - "Tubular Smells"](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2004/09/21/laptopping-31-tubular-smells/) - -------------------------------------------------------------------------- LapTopping Issue 31 21st September 2004 Estimated Reading Time: 6:21 (Approximately the amount of time you spend figuring out what went wrong with the email because you forgot to put .au on the end) -------------------------------------------------------------------------- LT BIRTHDAYS Happy Birthday Bill Murray 53 yesterday! Happy Birthday Joan Jett 45 tomorrow! -------------------------------------------------------------------------- PUBLISHER’S NOTE: On behalf
- [Christmas Ghost](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2001/08/16/christmas-ghost/) - Hello Christmas ghost! Hello How’s things. Christmassy. No doubt. Would you like to buy a raffle ticket? Okay. How much. Three for a dollar. I only want two. You can’t buy two. Why not? Look, the prize is really good, just buy three you tight arse. Fair enough, whatever. Have you got anything smaller? No.
- [I'm So Post Modern Lyric Writing Masterclass Page 2](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2000/08/06/im-so-post-modern-lyrics-writing-workshop-page-2/) - Aloha Pooglets! Welcome to the I'm So Post Modern lyric writing master class. Firstly, I will conduct a short lecture on the comedic paradigms within the song. Then, I encourage you to have a go at your own lyrics. Feel free to comment on others as well. Keep it constructive and nice. Okay. Let's begin.
- [I'm So Post Modern Lyric Writing Masterclass Page 1](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/2000/03/12/new-im-so-post-modern-lyric-workshop-new/) - THIS PAGE IS FULL! WHY NOT GO TO THE NEXT PAGE OF THE MASTERCLASS! The same lesson is there. Aloha Pooglets! Welcome to the I'm So Post Modern lyric writing master class. Firstly, I will conduct a short lecture on the comedic paradigms within the song. Then, I encourage you to have a go at
- [Golden Gaytime Lyrics](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/1999/03/30/golden-gaytime-lyrics/) - Golden Gaytime By The Bedroom Philosopher. I'm not one to make a statement I'm anything but blatant of life I am but a quiet member but I'll never forget that day when out in the open it all came it had to be that one day in september we'd lost our footy final so on
- [Folkstar Lyrics ](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/1999/02/26/folkstar-lyrics/) - Folkstar by The Bedroom Philosopher NOTE: The lyrics have been updated since the original pressing of 500 albums. You might find that the version you are used to (the spoken word one) is different. In one of my fits of indecisiveness, I 'improved' the lyrics. Sorry in advance, to everyone, for everything. Hey DJ I’m
- [Megan The Vegan Lyrics](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/1998/04/15/megan-the-vegan-lyrics/) - MEGAN THE VEGAN (Heazlewood) Megan the vegan doesn’t like meat Megan the vegan doesn’t like me Megan the vegan you’re looking kind of pale Megan the vegan watch out for that snail You need eggs in your legs Honey in your tummy Cheese in your knees And more milk from your mummy Megan the vegan

## Pages

- [Homepage](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/) - Join the mailing list Email Address* First Name Last Name Last Time You Cried * = required field Alternative Email:
- [LapTopping](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/media/laptopping/) - LapTopping LapTopping began as a humble group email in 2003. The Bedroom Philosopher segment on Triple J had finished, I’d moved to Sydney for a girl and was feeling a touch lonely. The subject heading ‘Can I please enter your life on a weekly basis?’ was my cheeky way of rounding up old pals
- [Discography](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/about/discography/) - Discography The Bedroom Philosopher – Living On The Edge…Of My Bed (2022 Rerelease) Theme Kelly The Deli Girl Happy Cow (Original) Generation ABC Good Lookin’ Girls Jesus On Big Brother (Original) Everybody's Got The Same Insecurities As You (Original) The Coughs Single Handedly Saved Rock N Roll mearD drieW Dr Karl Ian Thorpe Was Bored
- [Lyrics](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/media/lyrics/) - Lyrics Click on a release below to view the lyrics. Funemployed LP A Very Beddy Christmas Leaving My Hairdresser (single) Songs From The 86 Tram Brown and Orange Folkstar / I’m So Post Modern (Maxi Single) In Bed With My Doona Living On The Edge… Of My Bed
- [Clippings](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/media/clippings/) - Clippings REVIEWS LIVE GIGS FESTIVAL SHOWS RELEASES INTERVIEWS WEB TV/RADIO LIVE GIGS “Musically, Heazlewood leads on guitar, supported solidly by ‘The Awkwardstra’ on bass and drums, who further enhance the cool hipster vibe complete with slick backing vocals, awkward silences and hip costumes. Heazlewood is an incredibly clever writer and he has found a
- [Contact](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/contact/) - MANAGEMENT Justin Heazlewood CEO (Whatever you’re asking, double it) Say aloha Your Name (required) Your Email (required) Your Message Join mailing list Δ
- [Music](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/media/music/) - Music
- [Short Story](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/about/short-story/) - About After discovering irony from a mail-in voucher on the back of a That’s Life magazine, The Bedroom Philosopher taught himself music on a Melody Pop and a guitar he built in grade 8 woodwork. His first song was about Home & Away (“Turned on the TV screen and there was Irene, wish I’d never
- [Videos](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/media/videos/) - Videos GENERATION ABC (2022) Part of the ‘Living On The Edge…Of My Bed’ rerelease. PUP! #8 (2020) Created by The Bedroom Philosopher CAT SHOW TRAILER #3 (2017) Directed by Will Hindmarsh & The Bedroom Philosopher Music by Boards of Canada CAT SHOW TRAILER #5 (2017) Directed by Will Hindmarsh & The Bedroom
- [Photos](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/media/photos/) - Photos Promo shots 27 Photos Live Gigs 57 Photos Music Videos 42 Photos Out & About 45 Photos Awkwardstra 39 Photos Random 36 Photos Old School 33 Photos
- [Columns](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/media/columns/) - Columns My work has been published in Good Weekend, Smith Journal & The Big Issue. I was a senior writer for Frankie (2007-2011) and held a long running column StruthBeTold with Canberra street press BMA (2002-2010). The Horses World Record Attempt (2023)In 2003 I wanted to set the world record for longest continuous performance of
- [Living On The Edge... Of My Bed](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/media/lyrics/living-on-the-edge-of-my-bed/) - 2. Kelly the Deli Girl 3. Happy Cow (Original) 4. Generation ABC 5. Good Lookin’ Girls 6. Jesus On Big Brother (Original) 7. Everybody’s Got The Same Insecurities As You (Original) 8. The Coughs Single Handedly Saved Rock ‘n Roll 9. Meard Driew 10. Dr Karl 11. Ian Thorpe Was Bored (Original) 12. The Ballad
- [In Bed With My Doona](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/media/lyrics/in-bed-with-my-doona/) - Purchase from Bandcamp. 1. Love Theme From Centrelink 2. Golden Gaytime 3. Megan The Vegan 4. I’m So Postmodern 5. McRock 6. Megan The Vegan (reprise) 7. Folkstar (Pooglet With Strings Mix) 8. High On Life 9. Kicking The Footy With God 10. Saving Myself For Marriage 11. Everybody’s Got The Same Insecurities As You
- [Folkstar / I'm So Post Modern (Maxi Single)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/media/lyrics/folkstar-im-so-post-modern-maxi-single/) - Purchase from Bandcamp. 1. Folkstar (Pooglet With Strings Mix) 2. I’m So Post Modern (Pomomofo’s Detroit Club Mix) 3. I’m So Post Modern (Album Version) 4. Folkstar (Tomas Ford’s Rockstar Facelift) 5. Postmodernism (Man In A Smock Battles The Man In The Felt Coat Rematch) 6. Marjory 7. I’m So Post Modern’s Cute Nerdy Sister
- [Leaving My Hairdresser (Single)](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/media/lyrics/leaving-my-hairdresser-single/) - Listen to song HERE. Purchase from Bandcamp. 1. Leaving My Hairdresser
- [Brown and Orange](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/media/lyrics/brown-and-orange/) - Purchase from Bandcamp. 1. Strange Piece Of Music 2. Party In My Head 3. What Am I Supposed To Be Doing? 4. The Happiest Boy 5. I’m So Lonely 6. (Brown) 7. Jesus On Big Brother 8. For The Love I Have For You 9. Circus Bear 10. (Orange) 11. Swan Song 12. Deux Cygnes
- [Songs From The 86 Tram](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/media/lyrics/songs-from-the-86-tram/) - Purchase from Bandcamp. 1. Middle Aged Mum 2. We Are Tramily 3. Sudanese 4. Trishine 5. (Interlewd) 6. Northcote (So Hungover) 7. Irish Girl 8. Tram Inspector 9. Man On A Tram 10. Song To Nod Off To 11. In My Day (Nan) 12. New Media 13. Old Man At End
- [Funemployed LP](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/media/lyrics/funemployed-lp/) - Purchase from Bandcamp. 1. Art Hole 2. I’m Selling Myself 3. Fish Finger 4. I Hate Myself 5. Ian Thorpe Was Bored 6. One In a Million 7. Jenny Star 8. Food Is The New Rock and Roll
- [A Very Beddy Christmas](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/media/lyrics/a-very-beddy-christmas/) - Purchase from Bandcamp. 1. 12 Days of Christmas 2. Presents 3. Deck The Kids 4. Little Drama Boy 5. Jingle Hell 6. Jarred’s Letter
- [Thank you](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/thank-you/) - Onya champ! Your subscription has been confirmed. You’ve been added to our list and will hear from BP soon. LapTopping publishes approx. every 4 months.
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## Categories

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## Picture tag

- [2012](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/ngg_tag/2012/)
- [Amanda Palmer](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/ngg_tag/amanda-palmer/)
- [Bedroom Philosopher](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/ngg_tag/bedroom-philosopher/)
- [January](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/ngg_tag/january/)
- [The Jane Austen Argument](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/ngg_tag/the-jane-austen-argument/)
- [The Tivoli](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/ngg_tag/the-tivoli/)
- [dresden dolls](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/ngg_tag/dresden-dolls/)
- [Toff in Town](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/ngg_tag/toff-in-town/)
- [the bedroom philosopher](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/ngg_tag/the-bedroom-philosopher/)
- [landscape](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/ngg_tag/landscape/)
- [Yvette Coppersmith](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/ngg_tag/yvette-coppersmith/)
- [Bedroom Philospher](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/ngg_tag/bedroom-philospher/)
- [Giant Dwarf](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/ngg_tag/giant-dwarf/)
- [Sydney Comedy Festival](https://www.bedroomphilosopher.com/ngg_tag/sydney-comedy-festival/)