November 10, 2005 – 9:37 pm
Welcome pixel cutey! Here is some news that is fairly bloody recent! Cruskit Disco!!
1* – I’ve moved to Sydney for a couple of months to write for a new sketch show on Channel 10 called:
THE RONNIE JOHNS HALF HOUR
It is going to be on this Wednesday at 10:05pm.
I wrote all the bits you liked.
* If show is axed please disregard naive optimism.
2 – www.bedroomphilosopher.com, “under construction since 2002″ is alive! Special thanks to Tammy Nicholson and Paul Kilmurray for pixel tricks and spritely sprites! Some bits are not quite finished but the majority of written material is there. Pictures and MP3′s to come.
3 – I’m growing a writing beard! I last did …
September 14, 2005 – 10:44 pm
Welcome Pooglet! bedroomphilosopher.com is here! It’s pixelfest ’05! Thanks to Kilbot and Tamicita!
(brought to you by Dr Sludsy’s ‘Haiku Wipes.’ Now you can enjoy our handi-pak of lemony towelettes artfully etched with a variety of early 19th century Japanese poetry)
• The Tripod tour of regional W.A. was a success! The Tripod boys were gracious and inspirational. Units were shifted, miner’s bemused – x-box played! Full report next issue.
* ‘No Petrol Day’ is on September 22. If you normally buy petrol, don’t – and the oil companies will go mental. If you don’t normally buy petrol, and you see a service station attendant – kick them in the shins.
* The Breast Cancer site is having trouble getting …
August 17, 2005 – 11:03 pm
(brought to you by Alien Vs Shirley Temple, new from Dreamworks pictures. State of the art technology pits a race of flesh eating aliens up against a formidable force of candy lane dance sequences and technicolour sweetness)
• Supermega acoustafunsters Tripod have asked me to support them on their forthcoming regional tour of Western Australia. The eleven show tour will include Fremantle, Kalgoorlie and Broome! (27 Aug – 8 Sep)
* My innocent yet creepy appreciation of solo emperoress Sarah Blasko was further fuelled by a discovery that my album was directly next to hers in Aroma records, in Hobart. I was so nervous I moved it. Im So Postmodern also appeared directly before *Don’t u Eva* at approximately 630pm …
August 14, 2005 – 6:50 pm
Hello you vivacious pixelcutey!
You have vagued upon The Bedroom Philosopher’s official website ‘under construction since 2002.’
Well guess what – it’s going to be FINISHED within a month. I promise. Please come back. I have abandonment issues. C’mon – just give me one more month, I promise – the websites in the bag mate…honest….c’mon…I just got to see this bloke…he owes me one….really….he’s good for HTML….really….
The album ‘In Bed With My Doona’ featuring ‘I’m so postmodern’ is now available in all good record emporiums. (You might have to convince the indie maestro behind the counter that it exists – if you’re feeling cheeky, try and pick them up – buying my album creates a window…c’mon…)
THE BEDROOM PHILOSOPHER’S …
July 16, 2005 – 10:27 pm
(brought to you by Channel 31s Falling On Thick Sand! 12 celebrities. 140
angry camels. One Egyptian rodeo. 6 weeks to survive the odds and hone their
skills for a truly obscure webcast that not even the sungods can predict!)
• Little cerebral avant garde folk comedy engine that could…Im So
Post-modern will be featured on a Triple J Super Requests compilation due out
in August. Yes! I will get 16% of something, once something is taken out and
50% of that goes somewhere! I asked if they could put out an album where Nick
Cave, Grinspoon and other established artists offer versions of the song, but
they havent returned my thesis.
* During my Melbourne comedy festival run, I …
June 1, 2005 – 10:20 pm
(Brought to you by Browny Maelstrom’s Canteen of Green. Now with three caravan’s across Australia offering freshly steamed broccoli in the convenience of a nugget )
• My debut studio album “In Bed With My Doona” has secured national distribution through MGM in conjunction with Nan and Pop Records. This means that, in theory, you can buy the album at any record store in Australia. Due to alphabetical merits it is first on MGM’s extensive list of new releases. It is also, amazingly, on the Sanity website:
www.sanity.com.au/product.asp?intProductID=619414&…
A representative of Nan and Pop records made this statement: ‘That’s very good Justin. Let’s hope you sell a few.’
• Melbourne International Comedy Festival sojourn ‘In Bed With My Doona’ was …
March 29, 2005 – 10:20 pm
(Brought to you by Faggy Mathgroin’s New “Calcu-Creams” – A disposable, single use calculator wedged between layers of thick, double mint icecream’)
• I found out that “I’m So Post Modern” officially finished 180 in Triple J’s Hottest 100. As the station producer reminded me, this is a very fine result. I wish to again thank everyone who voted, especially Gemma King, who sent out a lovely group email campaign. If anyone asks, it’s now known as the ‘Hottest 200’ and I made it in easily.
* ‘In Bed With My Doona’ is now available at Red Eye Records in Sydney and the shop beginning with ‘S’ in King street, Newtown. And at the merchandise stand infront of the Town …
March 1, 2005 – 10:19 pm
(Brought to you by Dr Yipp’s Cocktail Crunch Bars. Try new Vermouth and Yoghurt!’ )
• For a couple of weeks in February I was the face of Duo condoms. I was sitting on Brunswick Street and was vox popped by a Channel V girl who asked me what songs I used to get a lady ‘in the mood.’ I said popcorn and Orinocho Flow, by Enya. Allegedly, it soon appeared on Channel V as a vox poppy style ad for the condom brand. I briefly considered writing a letter saying my image had been used without permission and it would alienate my Catholic fanbase, to try and scam some money. But didn’t.
• The Bedroom Philosopher celebrated the minor …
February 21, 2005 – 10:19 pm
(Brought to you by ‘The Fulmeep’s’ SBS at 3:30am. The prelude to the New Zealand logies’ )
• The Bedroom Philosopher’s debut studio album ‘In Bed With My Doona has reached aluminium status with sales hitting the 100 mark in late January. Nan and Pop records have noted that previous release ‘Living on the edge…of my bed’ took seven months to reach the milestone, while In Bed With My Doona has taken just three and a half months. An interesting statistic is, that of the 20 odd albums that have been sold via mail order to people hearing stuff on Triple J. About 75% of them have been men in NSW. Also, the very first 11 albums sold were all …
January 27, 2005 – 10:18 pm
(Brought to you by ‘Then You Whack It!’ the autobiographical pamphlet from child cricket superstar Rhodey Fleurhammer’ )
• My website will hopefully be ready within 2 weeks.
• My Mum saw me perform in Hobart for the first time in 6 years. She liked it all except the bit where I say I look like Harry Potter when he’s buggered up a spell. She said I shouldn’t put myself down, and ‘that’s not Justin.’
• I had a heckler at my solo show in Hobart who kept saying, ‘show us your nuts.’
• Pigs don’t sweat, apparently.
• Aphex Twin once spent 6 months working on the sound of one snare drum. …
January 4, 2005 – 10:18 pm
(Brought to you by ‘flatulale! The controversial new musical caravan by
Les bowel irritables )
• For Christmas from my mum and nan and pop I got an organiser, (a book, not a
paid helper), thongs, chocolate, a ‘tranquil Australia 2005’ calander, some
socks, some second hand thermal singlets my nan got off a friend, some new
shirts (a couple weren’t my scene, so mum said we could cash them back in at
kmart, god bless her), some after shave conditioning lotion and $50.
• I have gone onto the Vodafone ‘$80 call cap’ thing. You get $500 worth of
calls monthly for $80. It’s a great deal but I can’ t afford it and don’t know
what I’m doing. …
