• Here’s my song about Australia.

• The  Hippest 100 has been run and won. Congrats to Men Who Stare At Gotye for taking out pole position. Thanks to everyone who participated and supported the countdown. Click the link for the full list.

• My version of Northcote (So Hungover) made up of YouTube comments is now available on iTunes.

• I supported the Dresden Dolls nationally in January. It was glorious.

• Tram Inspector finished #19 in Rage’s Top 50 videos for 2011. Thanks to everyone who voted.

• Here is my Christmas Message.

• My new Christmas EP A Very Beddy Christmas is out now through iTunes, or you can buy the CD with salacious artwork from my shop.

• I wrote a Song For Kim.

• Check out the real life ‘Tram Inspector…’

• A new video for 12 Days Of Christmas is up on YouTube. It features a number of cameos including Dave Callan, The Suitcase Royale, Damien Lawlor (Lime Champions), Asher Treleaven, Simone Page Jones, Will Hindmarsh (Go-Go Sapien) & Nature Boy Hazel (The Awkwardstra.)

• I’m not the only one doing 12 Days Of Christmas. It was also good enough for Bonds with Jack Ladder.

• I recently gave tell-all interviews to ABC National and Speaker TV.

• If current commercial fishing practices continue, the numbers of predators such as sharks and tuna will collapse as soon as 2050.

• I wrote a column about sexuality in Indie music for Mess & Noise.

* here is a video of me saying words.

* I recently gave a tell-all interview to Richard Fidler HERE. Some tour reviews are HERE and HERE.

* I told the census I’m a black Jewish woman in a wheelchair.

* Check out my profile in the Age online HERE.

* I’m touring nationally, solo, in August and September. The Head Sex & Bed Socks Tour will be an intimate rumpus of soul-folk and effeminate man shenanigans. I recommend getting there early to check out Melbourne songsmith Catboy. TOUR SUSPENSIONS: Byron Bay has been handed a one tour suspension for crowds lurking up the back of the room and talking too much. Launceston has been penalised three tours for guys in a van trying to abduct my band mate. Darwin is suspended indefinitely for the owner of Bogarts calling me racist in the NT News. Apologies to my hardcore fans in Ballarat and Bunbury – we’re planning an exclusive bi-city residency for the album launch.

* The latest LapTopping is hot off the press HERE.

* I’ve been presenting some hard hitting segments on Collectors. The first one on Op Shops is HERE while the second one about online shopping airs this coming Friday.

* The July JMag features a FREEZA compilation CD which includes ‘Leaving My Hairdresser.

* The Croxton High School Assembly was an A with three ticks. Click HERE to witness the fitness with special guest J-Saf from Raspberry Cordial.

* The second Treble Treble column about my love of Radiohead is up on Mess & Noise HERE.

* I found my first Facebook hate group. ‘The Bedroom Philosopher. What A Dick’ has twenty members, although I notice the admins have skulked away.

* A Canberra filmmaker has produced a stop-motion short film called Tegan the Vegan. It features the voices of Paul McDermott and Noni Hazlehurst.

* According to recent statistics, one in four Tasmanians have a disability.

* The High School Assembly was a massive success! Thanks to all those who rocked up. Click HERE for a video of me busting out ‘We Are Tramily’ with special appearance by Raspberry Cordial’s J-Saf.

* There was a piece on the High School Assembly in the Sunday Age HERE.

* Tram Inspector scored Indie of The Week on Rage last week.

* I was a guest on The Conversation Hour with John Safran & Lawrence Leung. You can listen HERE.

* I have a new single, new music video (Tram Inspector) and new website.

* The single is ‘Leaving My Hairdresser’ a song challenging stereotypes about male relationships, as I nurse a platonic boner for the new barber in my life. It features the Awkwardstra in full sonic regalia with Gordo swinging the electric guitar, Mad Dog Rabinovici punishing the drums and Nature Boy Hazel slinking about on bass. There’s some truthful falsetto, aided by new member Donny Maracas, and brass tact from Donald Trumpet and Audrey Horn breaking all kinds of sax-laws. ABC Darwin were the first the spin it and are known for their hit breaking, so I hope the story cheques out. I was doing a phone interview with them, and halfway through a rant when my phone started ringing! I was so confused. It had dropped out and they’d rung me back mid-conversation. To the person in the car next to me it just looked like I was pretending to do an interview.

* The music video is for Tram Inspector. It was made by the same team as Northcote including Craig Melville as director. It was a logistically perplexing clip, in which an authentic tram interior with functioning stripper pole had to be designed and built. I undertook rigorous dance rehearsals and pieced together the uniform by fraternising with the Melbourne Tram Conductor community. (The shorts had to be built). The role of the girl was wonderfully underplayed by Ratidzo Mambo. Thanks to the Vic Rocks music grant for letting me have some fireworks.

* My spiritual web home bedroomphilosopher.com has been upgraded from the hipster playschool design which served me admirably for eight years. With the vintage 2003 coding it was looking like a postage stamp on 27” screens. I’ve gone for an ‘obscure 1970’s French cartoon that used to be shown on the ABC’ vibe. It features some new sections such as Lyrics and a Shop.

* Wit-Bix has been run and won. Overall it was ‘good’ but exhausting. It was a big departure from 86 Tram, made up of half stand-up, including political stuff and an interpretive neo-sexual cat impression, but I feel for the most part audiences picked up what I put down. I performed in the Gala for the first time, which was most exciting.

* I’m starting a monthly column about music for Mess & Noise called Treble Treble.

* I read Jonathan Franzen’s Freedom. It gives Lolita a run as the best book ever.

* Congratulations to Josh Earl who gave birth to a son, Oliver. The world just became a better place to be.

• I performed Calypso by Spiderbait on Adam Hills’ show. You can see it HERE. www.abc.net.au/tv/adamhillsIGST/stories/s3159480.h…

• I’ve released four columns about the whys and wherefores of being a stand-up. You can find them in The Big Issue, JMag, Beat (Melbourne) and online at Scrivener’s Fancy. The current issue of Frankie has three of my pieces.

• I’ve moved house to Thornbury. It’s the new Northcote, especially now I’m there.

• I’ve been hanging out with Amanda Palmer. She has drawn on eyebrows and a lot of sass. She came to Wit-Bix and said my song about Australia was ‘brave.’ I was a guest at her Adelaide show, busting out a rap about why girls shouldn’t shave their vajayjays while dressed as s cat. It was received.

• The Awkwardstra has a new member! We warmly welcome Julius Millar AKA Donny Maracas, who will permanently take up the percussion role left by Hitz Rodriguez. He’s a smooth operator from the wrong side of the tracks.

• The Awkwardstra will feature on three songs in ‘Wit-Bix’. There will be trumpets.

• ‘Wit-Bix’ went reasonably well in Adelaide Fringe except the bit where I threw my Farmers Union iced coffee because the church bells wouldn’t stop ringing. It picked up four stars in the Adelaide Advertiser. A reviewer from Rip It Up saw it on a weak night and spent half the review talking about my tech’s body odour. He also took issue with a lyric from new song ‘Leaving My Hairdresser.’ The lyric is: “he only charges me $50.” He suggested that no man in Adelaide would spend more than $15 on a haircut. I have decided to release different versions of the single to regional areas with the lyric amended to read: “He only charges me $15.” It’ll be easy as fifteen sounds a lot like fifty. Based on this theory, I’ll also be cutting a new version of Golden Gaytime with the lyric: “The shop keeper looked shaky as I handed him $2.80.” We wouldn’t want to alienate our fanbase due to their socio economic parameters, now would we?

• New single ‘Leaving My Hairdresser’ has been cut and is sounding like Harry Connick Jr doing Beck’s ‘Debra’. It will be released very soon on itunes.

• The Flaming Lips have a new single which you can only hear if you sync up 12 different YouTube’s. Explain that to your Nan.

• * I supported the Dresden Dolls nationally in January. It was glorious.

• * Twitter, happier, more productive.
  

• * Tram Inspector finished #19 in Rage’s Top 50 videos for 2011. Thanks to everyone who voted.

• * Here is my Christmas Message.

• * My new Christmas EP A Very Beddy Christmas is out now through iTunes, or you can buy the CD with salacious artwork from my shop.

• * I wrote a Song For Kim.

• * Check out the real life ‘Tram Inspector…’

• * A new video for 12 Days Of Christmas is up on YouTube. It features a number of cameos including Dave Callan, The Suitcase Royale, Damien Lawlor (Lime Champions), Asher Treleaven, Simone Page Jones, Will Hindmarsh (Go-Go Sapien) & Nature Boy Hazel (The Awkwardstra.)

• *  I’m not the only one doing 12 Days Of Christmas. It was also good enough for Bonds with Jack Ladder.

• * I recently gave tell-all interviews to ABC National and Speaker TV.

• * If current commercial fishing practices continue, the numbers of predators such as sharks and tuna will collapse as soon as 2050.

• * I wrote a column about sexuality in Indie music for Mess & Noise.

•     I’ll be performing a new show ‘Wit-Bix’ in Adelaide Whinge and Melbourne Irrational Comedy Festivals respectively. Big rooms. No more sweating. Tickets are on sale here ADELAIDE / MELBOURNE.

•     Amanda Palmer is a fan of ‘Northcote,’ and has invited me to rap over her ‘Map of Tasmania’ track at an Adelaide Fringe show March 2.

•     ‘Northcote’ has finished #42 in Rage’s Top 50 Videos of the year, and #7 on Mess and Noise’s top tracks of 2010. They said: “Misconstrued as a “joke song” upon its release, The Bedroom Philosopher’s ‘Northcote (So Hungover)’ will one day be regarded as a landmark release in rock’s evolution, just like ‘Interstellar Overdrive’ by Pink Floyd or The Velvets’ ‘Sister Ray’. Until then, it’s OK to laugh at the hipster jokes safe in the knowledge they have nothing to do with you or your collection of Coogi jumpers and Casio Data Banks.” The video has taken out Best Music Video at the ’15 Minutes Of Fame’ independent film festival in Florida.

•     Hitz Rodriguez, the world’s best looking Kiwi percussionist has left the Awkwardstra. He has set sail for greener pastures in a Byron Bay love nest. We wish him all the best, unless it doesn’t work out in which case he can pop back to Melbourne. I have lost a friend, a percussionist and a yoga instructor. Look out for new bloke Skins McGillicutty.

•     For Christmas Mum got me a ‘Classic Paintings’ calendar and two little pig erasers, one fluro pink, one fluro green. When I mentioned them on the phone she said “Pooglet!”

•     The Northcote Social Club residencies were a hoot. We got the best review ever in Inpress: “If you’d only heard the song Northcote (So Hungover), it’d be easy to dismiss The Bedroom Philosopher as a gimmick but his live show proves he’s much more substantial and clever than that. He is, simply, a comedy machine. His ability to embody characters is out of control they actually seem to be emerging from within him. Seeing him do Irish Girl and imitate his Nan for In My Day is something else. He is so quick that you often don’t get it until later when you replay it in your head. It’s like there’s a whole history of comedy here on stage embodied in the one man. And he never falters, at one point calling out to the crowd for his next song. Someone yells out Golden Gaytime and less than a second later he is straight into his anti-ode to this bullying-inducing ice-cream. The man is insane…” Kate Kingsmill

•     If you’re in Adelaide do check out the wonderful puppet show ‘Fin’ in Adelaide Fringe. It’s like Tom Waits meets Sesame Street. Click HERE for details.

‎1. Seriously thanks to all who came to the residencies. 2. Merry festive and a Christmas new things. 3. Vote for Northcote in the Hottest 100. 4. Not voting for anyone else is like voting twice. 5. Peace & tinsel.

• I appeared on ABC’s Collectors Friday November 5. In six sensational minutes of air-time I will take you on an emotional journey through my 70’s tie collection and shrine of novelty items.

• Songs From The 86 Tram has been nominated for an ARIA award for Best Comedy Release. The other nominees are Heath Franklin (Chopper), Jimeoin, Arj Barker (taking our work, sleeping with our women, winning our awards), and Andrew Hanson from The Chaser. They are all going down. The award is presented November 4th on a separate night to the other, more ‘pressing’ categories. (less than half of the awards will be televised). If I wish to attend the main night it will cost me $430 a ticket. I won’t be present at the awards as I’ll be holidaying in NY, naturally.

• My record label went broke! Shock were taken into the hands of liquidators a couple of months ago. This means I won’t receive any royalties from the 86 Tram album or the Northcote single (which sold around 3000 units). It could be worse, I managed to pay off the album pressing and the down payment on advance copies and wasn’t owed ‘that much.’ Still, my cash flow is screwed this month and I need to go back on Sennalink. There’s so much money to be made in music! Picture me in my bedroom right now, I’m like Scrooge McDuck flinging receipts instead of cash.

• Northcote (So Hungover) won Best Music Video at the Australian Directors Guild Awards and New York’s Royal Flush Film Festival. Congratulations to director Craig Melville and producers The Money Shot. More .jpeg laurel’s than you can poke a memory stick at.

• The National Tour was a sort of success! It was mostly good, except when it was bad and we played to mostly really good crowds and sometimes dumb ones. We pretty much didn’t quite break even, but given the vast scope of the undertaking within the confines of the glorified mid-level the act occupies, it could have been a lot worse and should be considered a kind of victory. Not that there’s anything to compare it to. That is me being positive. It’s like someone asking ‘how’s your life?’ You can’t very well sum it up in one or two sentences. A national tour is like a life within a life. Like that episode of Star Trek Next Generation where Captain Picard is zapped by the probe and taken into an alternate reality where he exists for 40 years in a simple farming community and marries a woman and grows old with her, only to wake up back on the bridge of the Enterprise where no time has elapsed. Can you imagine what that would be like?

• I scored funding from the Victoria Rocks music grant to produce a Tram Inspector film clip and redevelop my website. Go year!

• The Northcote (So Hungover) video won an award of merit at the Los Angeles Cinema Festival of Hollywood. It received a .jpeg of a laurel. Congratulations director Craig Melville and producers The Money Shot.

• The Songs From The 86 Tram National Album Tour is wising up, getting down, dropping in and rocking out with its left-field a-game on and folk-right b-list rocks off. We anticipate your participation in the humorous electro-acoustic dalliances of myself and all-star oddbods The Awkwardstra as we gallivant from concert to concert like avant-garde poncy savants in a dashing man-museum of absurdly discerning earnestness. Other such lustrous audio leaves you may collect and press in your subconscious scrapbooks include those delicately dropped by excitement ambassadors The Boat People. About three-fifths of the national program will include the songwriting testimonies of maelstrominous balladeer Pinky Beecroft accompanied by his White Russians. The layering of experience may caramelise with vintage emotions and the light bubble of modern vigour to swish through your existence like a chocolate cocktail from the intrepid ether, such is the divine mockumentary of our lives.

• I didn’t think Inception was that good. I thought it was a bit busy and ‘insisted upon itself.’

• Hipster is defunct. Honda have a ‘savvy, satirical and self-aware’ ad campaign out now targeting Hipster culture. In light of Northcote it makes me feel quite dirty, like exactly how Kurt Cobain must have felt after the Grunge explosion. The clichés are right, capitalism is awful. The speed at which a sub-culture is identified, and ‘captured’ by corporations for commercial gain has increased significantly since the Internet. If you’re a visual artist who’s work is receiving some kind of exposure – don’t be surprised if a very similar aesthetic is appropriated and used to sell OMO’s new ‘retro’ range of fabric softeners. I predict the next sub-culture target will be the Frankie craft brigade. Read: Kia ad where a girl in retro dress and cardigan has knitted a cover for her car. Car drives off with one strand untangled, it weaves all over the city leaving a red thread train until you zoom out to reveal car has drawn an enormous 70’s string art geometric pattern that morphs into the Kia logo. Cue Florence & The Machine chorus and a sharehouse couch worth of girls passionately discussing the ad using the company’s name several times in conversation as they try and determine whether they feel compromised. (NOTE: To all advertising creative goons googling indie-craft related keywords for the express purpose of this exact thing. I take 40% and international residuals.)

• If ye be in Melbourne and listening to Triple R’s radiothon, why not subscribe to stylish radio comedy program ‘Lime Champions,’ 7-8pm on August 15.

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• The Northcote (So Hungover) video is viralling out of control. It’s been Rage and Channel V videos of the week and will be aired on Video Hits this Saturday and Sunday. On the tubes it’s nearing 40K views and going strong. Feedback has been predominately positive. We had a swell video launch where Pose Tattoo, a supergroup of Melbourne indie muso’s played a gig. Sad Sanderson busted out ‘Boys Do Cry’ plus the original ‘Hey! That’s Sad.’ Check them out HERE.

• To make matters more confusing, I participated in an online ad for Metlink Melbourne where I penned a parody of Northcote called ‘Hurstbridge (So Sober)’ and then shot a lo-fi clip for it which hit the Internet before the real one. So that’s me doing a character, parodying me playing a character parodying scenester culture. It’s ironies equivalent of a back somersault with 3 ½ twists.

• The single tour was brilliant. Good crowds, good vibes. Hobart took out best gig honours with Canberra and Adelaide close behind. Sydney produced the baffling premise of my first sell-out show there but a mainstream audience down front who weren’t that into me. Newcastle was rowdy but fun for a free show while Brisbane I was end of tour tired, forgetting the music to Sudanese. Launceston was a small write-off, where I had to revert to my ‘walking up the back of the room yelling at people’ shtick. Like a relationship it’s no-ones fault, it’s about timing and sometimes these things just don’t work out.

• I have a manager and booking agent now, two things I’ve been hanging out for over the past two years. The delightful Anthea Cohen of Nibbles Music is taking care of business. I’ll be sure to keep on my toes, as website commenter Boris Yeltsin said: “Please, for the love of music, don’t get complacent now Justin. You’re in a privileged position, you’ve worked for it, and deserve it.” Thanks deceased Russian ex-President.

• The national album tour has been announced. I’ll be doing a 20 date tour over a month with The Awkwardstra. You can pre-book tickets HERE. Main tour partners will be The Boat People, Australia’s most under-rated band who have released a blinder of an album ‘Dear Darkly.’ I’d go as far to say it’s the best Oz album since Sleepy Jackson’s ‘Lovers.’ Check it out HERE. I also strongly recommend ‘My Volcano’ from superb eclectophiles Richard In Your Mind. Flaming Lips meets Avalanches.

Click HERE to see me on Nova. Click HERE to read a track by track of ‘Songs From The 86 Tram’ on Mess & Noise. Feel free to enter the ensuing flame war and defend my honour. Songs From The 86 Tram out now at all shops!

NEWS

* The Northcote (So Hungover) video shoot went swimmingly! The clip will be launched real soon. If you’re in Melbourne you can sneak along to the Workers Club on June 5 and see it for yourself.

* Songs From The 86 Tram has been released through Shock. I trust this means you can find the album parked somewhere between Beck and The Bee Gees in your local record emporium. It’s got thirteen tracks and I believe it’s my best work to date. It features all the songs from the live show but not the spoken word characters. ‘Northcote (So Hungover)’ has continued along its merry way, being the most requested song on Super Requests on seven occasions, and being playlisted on Sydney’s Fbi and getting a regular spin on Melbourne’s RRR and PBS. There’s a pretty funny bootleg of it up on YouTube, complete with 90’s style grungy audio.

* I had an absolute dream run in the Comedy Festival, selling all but 30 tickets in a 22 show run. Crowds were overwhelmingly into it, bar a few restless weekend audiences who loved mucking about during the first song and getting up halfway to go and get beers. I had to put on two extra shows in the 200 seat banquet room, the first of these sold out and this was the show I had filmed. I’m hoping this means my days of playing small hot rooms are over as I got quite a taste for the sound of two hundred people clapping (much better than one). Injury wise I made it through unscathed, although my voice took quite a beating, and I underwent a strict routine of steam rooms, warm teas and early nights. Congrats also to Josh ‘train cakes’ Earl who had a blinder, selling out lots of his shows and getting his head on the comedy all stars gala.

* There are still a few ‘We Are Tramily’ tshirts left over. They can be ordered from me if you’re keen.

Ya, so Radar Radio are loving Northcote (So Hungover) so I’m writing a tidy blog for them. Clap your specs on it HERE.

• Second single ‘Northcote (So Hungover)’ is going a bit apeshit. Triple J have put it on rotation, spinning it steadily over the past month. Last week is was the most requested song on Super Requests on five occasions. FBI in Sydney have just added it too. Some kids have put a bootlegged version up on YouTube, which has over 10, 000 views including someone mishearing ‘we get Molly Meldrum kudos’ as ‘we get Molly Meldrum to do us.’ Naturally, Triple M have jumped on board, playlisting the song on their digital station ‘Radar Radio.’ It was featured on Ugly Phil’s Triple M program who made mention of ‘I’m So Modern’ and after playing the track went into a baffling impression of the accent which ended with him doing an Asian impression.

• The Songs From The 86 Tram album will be released through Shock on April 16. Some advanced copies can be bought at my Comedy Festival shows and at the merchandise stand at info booth, outside Town Hall. You can pre-order the album in any JB or indie record store the week before release, plus it’ll be up on iTunes.

• Songs From The 86 Tram won ‘Best Cabaret Production’ at the Melbourne Green Room theatre awards. I was unable to attend the ceremony as I was in bed with bronchitis and a 39 degree temperature.

• Yarra Trams are sponsoring the show, featuring my posters on eight of their trams for a month. Things are going REALLY well. It’s terrifying.

• I won’t be doing Edinburgh this year now, I’ve decided to focus on a national album tour with the band in August/September. It’d be great to do some all ages shows in each of the major cities, if anyone knows any good venues / contacts in this area do let me know.

• I’m climbing into the backseat of Lime Champions for a while, allowing the profoundly talented Damien Lawlor to take the wheel. Over the next few weeks we’ll be featuring a number of Comedy Festival comedians sampling their material. That’s every Monday at 7pm, streamable at the rrr site. There’s a new podcast up HERE.

• In January, while feeling fragile and weird at home in Tassie, I decided to cull my Facebook friendship list from 480 to 80. This may have offended some people and if it has, I apologise. After a steady bombardment of event invites and gaff, I decided to keep my personal Facebook for people I am regularly in contact with, and all other communication to go through the Bedroom Philosopher one. Facebook bothers me. I see it as a socially competitive, spiritually distracting ego poker machine that I am forced to participate in. If I unfriended you it doesn’t mean I don’t like you, or represent a dismissing of our friendship, it means I need to be selfish and selective about paring down the amount of information I receive. Also, the invasively intimate nature of the site meant that I was no longer comfortable with ‘everyone’ knowing my business and seeing photos of me eating chicken sandwiches at parties. I too need some privacy. I ask for your understanding on this matter. I am still easily contacted, and reply to most comments left on the Bedroom Philosopher site.

NEWS

• The Melbourne Fringe run of ’86 Tram’ was sweet. Yarra Trams even came along for the first time. Three of their representatives came up afterwards and gave me a ‘I heart my tram’ badge. I think that’s good.

• I have spent the last month recording the ‘Songs From The 86 Tram’ album. It will be produced by Chris Scallan (has mixed Avalanches and Akon) *justin picks names up off ground* who finished off Brown & Orange. Six of the songs will feature The Awkwardstra in full swing, except Flutes McGee who is in Bulgaria. It’s officially sounding great and will surface early next year. By the way, if anyone has $15k and a loaded mobile can we get some face time?

• ‘Lime Champions’ continues to kick goals. We’re into week 24 and still churning out close to an hour of pure Gen-Y savaging rock ‘n’ droll content. Praise be to co-hosts and writers Damien Lawlor, Josh Earl and ‘ladio’ herself Eva Johansen. Want podcast? CLICK HERE

• I’ve written a few pieces for Tony Martin’s new online column safehouse ‘Scriveners Fancy.’ You can read my bits in the ‘Visiting Scrivener’ section, but you should mainly spend your time improving your life with Tony’s brain certificates. CLICK HERE

• Brown & Orange is well launched! The tour was a success. I spent $6K and made $9.5K and had the best touring experience in years. Thanks to everyone who turned up. Diary to come.

• My arm is healing slowly. I have full functionality but it’s still quite stiff and hurts on certain angles. I’m continuing physio at the Royal Melbourne Hospital, who are surprised that it’s taking this long. If anyone has some tips on rehabilitating a fractured greater tuberosity of the humerus, I’m all arms.

NEWS

(Brought to you by the new collaboration between members of The Shins and The Bangles ‘The Shingles.’)

♥ The Brown & Orange National Tour is pressed and ironed and ready to roll up the east coast like a convoy of can do. For the first time I shall be touring with The Awkwardstra in two Brown and Orange Chrysler Valiants filled to the brim with mind blowing instruments with more dapper banter than a 1920′s tennis tournament. All the major cities are there, sort of. If you are under eighteen you may take issue with some of the licensed venues and absence of all ages shows. Man, why does everything have to suck all the time?

♥ I’m about to move house to Westgarth. It will be the first time I’ve lived with less than four people in about ten years. I’m extremely pleased. I have a big room with a balcony and built in wardrobe. Also, the bathroom is fitted with 70′s lemon décor. It’s a lot of extra rent but Mum has offered to make up the difference to what I’m paying now. Isn’t that nice?

♥ A piece I wrote will appear in a new book ‘So Your Mother Would Be Proud’ released by Allen & Unwin in July. It features various Australian entertainers sharing their horror tales from the biz. You can check it out HERE” title=”http://www.yourmotherwouldbeproud.com.au/\”>HERE” target=”_blank”>www.yourmotherwouldbeproud.com.au/”>HERE.

♥ CLARIFICATION: Last issue I referred to dessert as ‘pudding.’ This was inspired by New Zealand Awkwardstra member Jamie ‘Hits Rodriquez’ Power. It’s a New Zealand thing and I reckon it’s pretty cute.

♥ I have pieces in the current issues of Frankie, Jmag and The Big Issue. (Watch out for a feature article on me in the next Big Issue). Lime Champions continues every Monday night at 7pm on 102.7 in Melbourne.