September 14, 2005 – 10:47 pm
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LapTopping – The Bit Long, Official Ezine Thing of The Bedroom Philosopher
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ISSUE 44
Wednesday 14th September 2005
Subscribers: 961
Estimated Reading Time: 9:12 (can be refunded in a special afterlife promotion)
**This is a special issue that asks you to do things. They are fun and not overwhelming**
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WELCOME TO TEAM POOGLET!
Team Pooglet! Your mission is this:
MISSION OBJECTIVE: Help agent ‘Megan the Vegan’ escape the dangerous ‘obscurity jungle’ and make her way into the ‘pseudo fame plains’
Level 1: Go to this website base and plant a ‘vote mine.’
NOTE: Agent ‘Megan the Vegan’ is not on the list yet.
www.abc.net.au/triplej/net50/default.htm
Level 2: You can provide extra cover by detonating a ‘request …
July 16, 2005 – 10:40 pm
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LapTopping….The Official Ezine Thing of The Bedroom Philosopher
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Now with Procrastinay 4: A subroutered serif splicing unicode specifically
designed to assist your productivity WHILE you procrastinate!
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ISSUE 42
Saturday 16th July 2005
Subscribers: 801
Estimated Reading Time: 9:05
In Bed With My Doona is now available in all good record emporiums, or buy
online:
www.sanity.com.au/product.asp?intProductID=619414&…
**FEATURE GIG: Headlining @ Bar Open. A rare set of my serious stuff. 27th
July**
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LT BIRTHDAYS!
Happy Birthday Corey Feldman 34 today!
Happy Birthday David Hasselhoff 53 tomorrow!
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FRESH STATS:
ITS: 8:17pm
IM DRINKING: Tasmanian tap water.
MY HAIR: Concerns my grandparents. Nan sees through the fashionability of a
long, side swept fringe. She doesnt like how it hangs …
June 1, 2005 – 8:31 pm
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LspTopping – The Official Ezine Thing of The Bedroom Philosopher
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Issue 41 – Wednesday 1st June 2005
Estimated Reading Time: 8:20
Subscribers: 776
**’In Bed With My Doona’ is now available in shops otherpluckers!** (see news section)
or buy it now here cheekily: www.sanity.com.au/product.asp?intProductID=619414&…
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LT BIRTHDAYS!
Happy Birthday Deborah Harry 60 today!
Happy Birthday Jason Donovan 37 today!
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OPENING CEREMONY, with Justin.
CURRENT STATS:
It’s: 11:34pm
I’m drinking: Cask chardonnay.
My hair Needs work.
Pimples: are popping up, little ones (stress?)
I am: defiantly night optimistic
Hello my dear, dear and welcome to another instalment of my organic digital lasertreat! I for each and every one of you and hope that you find sliver-pulses of grin-flaring, …
March 29, 2005 – 8:30 pm
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LapTopping Issue 40
Tuesday 29th March 2005
Estimated Reading Time: 7:42
Subscribers: 585
**Melbourne International Comedy Festival
The Bedroom Philosopher in ‘PYJAMARAMA’**
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LAPTOPPING AT A GLANCE!
——-Opening Ceremony With Justin.
——-PYJAMARAMA Positions Vacant.
——-Inanimate Objects – Sick Travel Clock from Taryn Cornell
——-Hap-Hap-Happy Top 5 from Jen Jewel-Brown
——-Kerry’s bit.
——-Latest News & Melbourne Gigs
——-Bedroom Philosopher Gig Diary Continues. What Happened in Hobart?
Plus other bits. All this for $-80! (money I would have made working)
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OPENING CEREMONY, with Justin.
, ,
CURRENT STATS:
It’s: 10:55pm
I’m drinking: Coke
My mobile phone is: In my backpack in the costume room at Duckboard House.
My heart is: a chicken in a pillowcase.
Bank account: $13.
Rent: …
March 1, 2005 – 8:27 pm
R.I.P Hunter S. Thompson (1937 – 2005)
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LapTopping Issue 39
Tuesday 1st March 2005
Estimated Reading Time: 8:03 (longer if you spend time at the song workshop)
**Sydney gigs-a-gogo**
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LAPTOPPING AT A GLANCE!
——-Top 5 Funny Sounding Train Stations Between Newcastle And Sydney And Their Meanings
——-Justin’s Dream Analysed!
——-Inanimate Objects – Sick Computers From Janet McLeod and Susannah Close
——-Hap-Hap-Happy Top 5 Punctuation Marks From Tammy Nicholson
——-Kerry’s bit.
——-Latest News & Sydney Gigs
——-Song Workshop! Help me with my song ‘Feryl Beryl.’
Plus other bits. All this for $-80! (money I would have made working)
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LT BIRTHDAYS
Happy Birthday the late Johnny Cash, 77 last Friday!
Happy Birthday Alan Thicke (Dad from growing pains) 58 …
February 21, 2005 – 8:24 pm
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LapTopping Issue 38
Monday 21st February 2005
Estimated Reading Time: 11:13
(For optimum reading pleasure The LapTopping team suggests copying into word, printing out and reading on public transport. Please do not take your computer screen with you, or attempt to trace over the words with tracing paper.)
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LAPTOPPING AT A GLANCE!
——-In-Animate objects deaths by Helen Boutcher
——-Hap-hap-happy by Ladycracker
——-Top 5 best made up words and their meanings
——-Another one of Justin’s dreams to analyse.
——-Kerry’s bit.
——-News – Gigs
——-The Bedroom Philosopher’s Wagga Wagga O-week gig report!
Plus other bits. All this for $-80! (money I would have made working)
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LT BIRTHDAYS
Happy Birthday Seal 42 last Saturday!
Happy Birthday Justine Bateman 39 last …
January 27, 2005 – 8:19 pm
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LapTopping Issue 37
Thursday January 27th 2005
** Laughapoolooza musical comedy gala Kaliede Theatre this Friday, Saturday night**
Estimated Reading Time: 5:11
Word for the day: Midrovert. (When you are halfway between introverted and extroverted)
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LAPTOPPING INFREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
Q. How many people are signed up to LapTopping?
A. About 560
Q. How many people asked to be signed up to LapTopping?
A. About 45
Q. A lot of it seems like a lot of personal jokes, is that right?
A. No, not at all – and if they are then I’m the only one who gets them.
Q. But aren’t most of the people that write in for hap-hap-happy and the inanimate objects your friends?
A. Sometimes, …
January 4, 2005 – 8:17 pm
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This issue of LapTopping is humbly dedicated to those suffering from the
Psunami.
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LapTopping Issue 36
Tuesday January 4th 2005
** You can vote for ‘I’m So Post Modern’ in Triple J’s Hottest 100**
**Deadline January 21st! Read! Vote! Love!**
Estimated Reading Time: 7:24 (We appreciate that your eyes are itchy)
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LT BIRTHDAYS
Happy Birthday Malcolm Young (AC/DC) 52 Thursday!
Happy Brithday Rachel Friend (something) 35 Saturday!
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ON THIS DAY IN GRADE SEVEN (A reading from my Grade seven diary)
Publisher’s Note: We regret to inform that Justin’s 1993 diary entries are
currently offline as he didn’t write anything in his diary until school
started. We apologise for any convenience.
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BELATED CHRISTMAS BLESSING’S FROM BEV:…
December 13, 2004 – 8:15 pm
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“When things need dropping. Read LapTopping!”
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LapTopping Issue 35
Monday 13th December 2004
** Bedroom Philosopher Triple J OzMusicShow interview tonight (Monday) between 9-11pm. JJJ FM**
Estimated Reading Time: 8:02
(The LapTopping team recognises that you are very busy and this week has just been mad)
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LT BIRTHDAYS
Happy Birthday Don Johnson 55 on Wednesday!
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, , and welcome to another issue of the organic lasertreat LapTopping! It is from the sincerest, most humblest subsection of the lunchbox of my heart that I thank each and every one of you who took a moment from your cherished, undulating, reflexive lives and voted for my folk comedy song ‘I’m so postmodern’ in Triple J’s net 50. On …
November 19, 2004 – 8:12 pm
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LapTopping Issue 34
Friday 19th Novemer 2004
** Last B.P. Melbourne Show This Year + Gnet Phifty **
Estimated Reading Time: 4:52
(Approximately the amount of time the cat watches you for after you’ve put food in its bowl and before it starts eating it)
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LT BIRTHDAYS
Happy Birthday Jodie Foster 42 today!
Happy Birthday Anna Cleary 22 Sunday (Bev’s daughter)
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INTERNATIONAL SELF PROMOTION WEEK
‘I’m So Postmodern’ is now in the Net 50 list! (Not in the Top 50…yet) It may only be there for one or two weeks. Please vote for it now. They are listed alphabetically by song titles.
www.abc.net.au/triplej/net50/default.htm
Note: 1 – You DON’T have to put your name and address in. 2 …
November 11, 2004 – 8:08 pm
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LapTopping Issue 33
**Request ‘I’m so Postmodern’ on Triple J! Yay!**
Thursday 11th Novemer 2004
Estimated Reading Time: 7:24
(Approximately the amount of time that conversation about mobile phone plans dragged out for)
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LT BIRTHDAYS
Happy Birthday Demi Moore 43 today!
Happy Birthday Bruce Samazan 34 Saturday!
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On this day in 1993 (A reading from my grade seven diary)
“Made small cakes in cooking. Sarah talked to me again. Bianca must like me. Had inter high training then went to pool. Yo.”
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DAMN POP UP ADS!
Hola , gee your looks fabulous today!
Triple J have inserted ‘I’m So Postmodern’ into a (direct quote from Richard Kingsmill) ‘lite rotation – arvos/nights/weekends’ This is good. Here is …
October 14, 2004 – 8:06 pm
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LapTopping Issue 32
Thursday 14th October 2004
Estimated Reading Time: 7:11
(Approximately the amount of time you spend looking for those sunnies)
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LT BIRTHDAYS
Happy Birthday Roger Moore 77 today!
Happy Birthday Jean-Claude Van Damme 44 Monday!
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DAMN POP UP ADS!
Aloha how’s going? Did you get your $10 back? Whittle your carrots and top up your fizzy drink! I’m proud to declare The Bedroom Philosopher’s ‘In Bed With My Doona’ tour, as open as a supermarket on Sundays! Check these funky ‘at a glance’ dates!
OCTOBER (at a glance)
15th ANU, Canberra.
18th Woolongong Uni
20th Uni of Canberra / Albury Uni
21st Kitten Club, Melbourne
23-24th Kitten Club, Melbourne
26-28th The comedy clubs, somewhere…Perth
30th …
September 21, 2004 – 8:03 pm
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LapTopping Issue 31
21st September 2004
Estimated Reading Time: 6:21
(Approximately the amount of time you spend figuring out what went wrong with the email because you forgot to put .au on the end)
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LT BIRTHDAYS
Happy Birthday Bill Murray 53 yesterday!
Happy Birthday Joan Jett 45 tomorrow!
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PUBLISHER’S NOTE: On behalf of Justin and Bev I’d like to apologise for the lateness of this issue. I suggested trying out ‘Cellophane Carchase Printing and Confectionery’ in Porto Rico, and they sent us a box of celebrity wine gums instead of the LapTopping proofs. We apologise for any convenience.
Kerry The Metaphysical Drummer
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Hello my dearest , this is Justin here, I may remember me from such …
