• The Northcote (So Hungover) video won an award of merit at the Los Angeles Cinema Festival of Hollywood. It received a .jpeg of a laurel. Congratulations director Craig Melville and producers The Money Shot.

• The Songs From The 86 Tram National Album Tour is wising up, getting down, dropping in and rocking out with its left-field a-game on and folk-right b-list rocks off. We anticipate your participation in the humorous electro-acoustic dalliances of myself and all-star oddbods The Awkwardstra as we gallivant from concert to concert like avant-garde poncy savants in a dashing man-museum of absurdly discerning earnestness. Other such lustrous audio leaves you may collect and press in your subconscious scrapbooks include those delicately dropped by excitement ambassadors The Boat People. About three-fifths of the national program will include the songwriting testimonies of maelstrominous balladeer Pinky Beecroft accompanied by his White Russians. The layering of experience may caramelise with vintage emotions and the light bubble of modern vigour to swish through your existence like a chocolate cocktail from the intrepid ether, such is the divine mockumentary of our lives.

• I didn’t think Inception was that good. I thought it was a bit busy and ‘insisted upon itself.’

• Hipster is defunct. Honda have a ‘savvy, satirical and self-aware’ ad campaign out now targeting Hipster culture. In light of Northcote it makes me feel quite dirty, like exactly how Kurt Cobain must have felt after the Grunge explosion. The clichés are right, capitalism is awful. The speed at which a sub-culture is identified, and ‘captured’ by corporations for commercial gain has increased significantly since the Internet. If you’re a visual artist who’s work is receiving some kind of exposure – don’t be surprised if a very similar aesthetic is appropriated and used to sell OMO’s new ‘retro’ range of fabric softeners. I predict the next sub-culture target will be the Frankie craft brigade. Read: Kia ad where a girl in retro dress and cardigan has knitted a cover for her car. Car drives off with one strand untangled, it weaves all over the city leaving a red thread train until you zoom out to reveal car has drawn an enormous 70’s string art geometric pattern that morphs into the Kia logo. Cue Florence & The Machine chorus and a sharehouse couch worth of girls passionately discussing the ad using the company’s name several times in conversation as they try and determine whether they feel compromised. (NOTE: To all advertising creative goons googling indie-craft related keywords for the express purpose of this exact thing. I take 40% and international residuals.)

• If ye be in Melbourne and listening to Triple R’s radiothon, why not subscribe to stylish radio comedy program ‘Lime Champions,’ 7-8pm on August 15.

———————————————————————–

ISSUE 79
Monday August 9, 2010
**National tour start this week. Click HERE to pre-book**
**Invite your Facebook friends HERE**

———————————————————————–

LT BIRTHDAYS

Happy Birthday Audrey Tatou 32 today!
Happy Birthday Hulk Hogan 57 Wednesday!

———————————————————————–

HOW TO HELP ME COMPLETELY

Q. How?
A. Pre-book your ticket to the National Tour gig.

Q. Why?
A. Well, if you are going to go anyway, this way is cheaper AND will make me and my squadron of assistants feel umpteen times better about the whole thing. We’ll have more of a sense that people are coming.

Q. What if I don’t because I’m a bit busy and bored and I don’t like you quite that much?
A. Nothing will happen. However, you wouldn’t want me to feel unnecessarily anxious in the lead-up to my special month now would you?

Q. Are you manipulating me in a very obvious fashion?
A. Yes.

S. (statement) I like it. I will pre-book AT ONCE-ISH!
RS (responsorial statement) Thanks, you specifically.

———————————————————————–

TEN GREAT WORD COMBOS

1. Sporadic cameo
2. Vampire campfire
3. Bollywood cauliflower
4. Colossal quibble
5. Mammoth anecdote
6. Operatic impediment
7. Pullet bullion
8. Hoodwinked vector panther
9. Texture ken
10. Glib decanter

———————————————————————–

NEW SEGMENT! LYRIC POLICE

Bringing song writing laziness to justice.

From Christina Cox, Melbourne

I’m a song lyric fetishist, and while I consider ‘How to Disappear Completely’ by Radiohead one of the most awesome songs I’ve ever heard, I can never get past:

“In a little while
I’ll be gone
The moment’s already passed
Yeah…it’s gone.”

THANKYOU CHRISTINA. GET SLEUTHING AND REPORT YOUR LYRICAL EVIDENCE NOW!

———————————————————————–

GET A WRIGGLE ON GOOGLET!
Phrases people have typed into Google to land on my website:

“Bring back bob hawke”
“the bedroom pholodifer”
“is the world fu**ed?
“make your own cruskits
“xxx hot short shorts in public”
“little shop of horrors crochet”
“the whole song of bedroom philosopher which you can copy and sing”
“is darryl braithwaite gay?”
“russian rap in my bed room”
“ween earplugs”
“bowie the chamomile”
“trineesha bedroom philosopher”
“fairy floss undress”
“tram 86 way too noisy”
“the bedroom phelosipha”
“i can t pursue my career due to antidepressants”
“matthew krok seat belt safety”
“tasmanias nashinol anthom”

———————————————————————–

TIME IS CHEESE AND MOUSE IS HUNGRY!

A glowing FasterLouder review for Songs From The 86 Tram.

A scintillating new video from Richard In Your Mind.

———————————————————————–

A GIGGLE OF GIGS

NATIONAL BAND TOUR WITH THE AWKWARDSTRA & SPECIAL GUESTS THE BOAT PEOPLE AND/OR PINKY BEECROFT (formerly Machine Gun Fellatio) & THE WHITE RUSSIANS (exc. SA/WA)

Book at the venues or from the pre-booking link HERE.

Aug 12 Adelaide – Jive bar (w/ Cookie Baker and Guillaume Soloacoustic)
Aug 13 Launceston – Hotel New York (w/ Pinky Beecroft & The White Russians and New Saxons)
Aug 14 Hobart – Brisbane Hotel (all ages 3pm start) (w/ Pinky Beecroft & The White Russians + Agent Fontaine)
Aug 14 Hobart – Brisbane Hotel (over 18’s) (w/ Pinky Beecroft & The White Russians + New Saxons)
Aug 15 Burnie – Burnie Arts & Function Centre (all ages 2pm start) (w/ The Stoics)
Aug 18 Canberra – ANU Bar (w/ The Boat People + Margaret Helen King)
Aug 19 Wollongong – Harpe Hotel (w/ The Boat People + Pinky Beecroft & The White Russians)
Aug 20 Sydney – The Factory (all ages 7:30pm start) (w/ The Boat People + Pinky Beecroft & The White Russians)
Aug 21 Newcastle – Northern Star (w/ The Boat People + Pinky Beecroft & The White Russians)
Aug 22 Cronulla – The Brass Monkey (w/ The Boat People + Pinky Beecroft & The White Russians)
Aug 25 Scarborough – Indi Bar (w/ Gilroy & The Cold Shoulders + Stereo Flower)
Aug 26 Bunbury – Prince Of Wales (w/ Gilroy & The Cold Shoulders)
Aug 27 Northbridge – Rocket Room (w/ Gilroy & The Cold Shoulders + Stereo Flower)
Aug 28 Brisbane – The Troubadour (w/ The Boat People + Pinky Beecroft & The White Russians)
Aug 29 Brisbane – Old Museum (all ages 12:30pm start) (w/ The Boat People + Charlie Mayfair)
Aug 29 Byron Bay – Great Northern (w/ The Boat People + Steve Grady)
Sep 1 Ballarat – Karova Lounge (w/ The Boat People + Pinky Beecroft & The White Russians)
Sep 2 Geelong – National Hotel (w/ The Boat People + Pinky Beecroft & The White Russians)
Sep 3 Hepburn Springs – The Palais (w/ The Boat People + Pinky Beecroft & The White Russians)
Sep 4 Melbourne – Northcote Social Club (w/ The Boat People + Pinky Beecroft & The White Russians)
Sep 5 Melbourne – Spanish Club (all ages 12:30pm start) (w/ The Boat People + Stonefield – ex Iotah – Triple J Unearthed Winners)
Sep 5 Melbourne – Northcote Social Club (w/ The Boat People + Go-go Sapien)

———————————————————————–

STORYTIME

BEDDY PHIL’S NATIONAL TOUR FANZINE SPECTACULAR!

KNOW THY AWKWARDSTRA!

Letz get to know Australia’s most sort-of known band of aggressively sheepish super troopers.

‘NATURE BOY’ HAZEL – Bass.
Favourite food: Lettuce chupa-chups.
Favourite book: Stuff Black People Don’t Like
Did you know? Andy once had a job in Europe subtitling the plots for films. Instead of dialogue he had to write what was happening e.g. ‘This guy is the girls father appearing to her as a ghost without pants.’ Andy is also a naturopath. He is working on a jazz comedy instillation about the links between mineral deficiency and Tourette’s syndrome called ‘The Vitamin C-bomb.’

‘MAD DOG’ RABINOVICI – Drums.
Favourite quote: “No stars.” – David Stratton.
Favourite Movie: Sex Toy Story 3
Fun Fact: Mad-Dog just returned from a solstice in India where he worked extensively with drum gurus who taught him how to keep a straight eight using only his buttocks. He contributes to a male feminist handbook edited by Guy’s Sebastian and Pearce called ‘Guy and Guy’s Guide for Guys Against Guys.’

GORDO (formerly Suavey Shankar) – Electric guitar / Sitar.
Favourite TV Show: The Sopranos, Brand Power.
Favourite Past-times: Snow-baking, tram-jacking, couch-surfing (literally).
Profile: Joined the band in 2007 after TBP found him in a department store changerooms busking sitar versions of ‘True Blue.’ Known for his mini-disc collection, use of the phrase ‘chocoblock’ and tendency to go toily in his hot water bottle.

HITZ RODRIGUEZ – Percussion.
Favourite Drink: Vodka Ovaltines.
Favourite Sport: Wii Dog Fighting.
Snapshot: Very little is known about this mysterious New Zealand Columbian smug-lord. It’s rumoured he can solve a rubik’s cube using only his jazz hands and has been expelled from over ten driving schools. He is a half South American bogan yoga instructor who salutes downward facing double denim.

MENTAL PUZZLES

Q. The Bedroom Philosopher has a gig at 9pm. He must travel 10km to get there on a tram that goes 2km an hour. It’s now 4pm and it will take an hour to get ready. A taxi will cost $2.50 per kilometre and get him there in triple the time but he only has $20. Which is the better option?
ANSWER AT BOTTOM OF LAPTOPPING

JOKES!

Q. How many pop culture references does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. Rosie Perez!

NEW WORDS!

Deppression – The fallout caused by the expectations of modern Johnny Depp films.
Malculator – A device to work out how much Stephen Malkmus was cashing in on the last Pavement tour.
Grudd – A parody of Grug books featuring the displaced ex-Prime Minister depicted as a recluse Burrawang tree.
Laptuplets – When everyone in the house has their laptops out.

ASK DR HELP

Q. Dear Dr Help, I’ve just started a new job but I’m worried that I might not be very good at it because I don’t like it. Help.
A. Dear person, have you tried not doing the job? Perhaps you can adopt a dramatically evasive set of life directions where you reinvent yourself as an adult sitter. Adult sitting is a boutique growth industry where unsure people who don’t have evening plans pay you to come and play Scrabble with them. You could try this and if it doesn’t work out or exist then perhaps stick to data entry and a tightly prescribed diet of exercise, reading and racy massages with casual friends. Alternatively, you could try ‘dada entry’ where you text absurdist phrases to random phone numbers until someone pays you to go away.

HOROSCOPES

Sagittarius. The moon slept in so you’re going to have a weird fight with someone close to you which might not be like a real fight but something’s going on, best to bury it deep inside so you never have to go through the sharp yet brief discomfort of confronting them.

Gemini. You’re a real piece of work, you know that? Oooh, look at me, I’m all confused. I want to do this thing but now I’ve changed my mind and I want to do that. Good luck holding down a relationship you weirdo.

Libra. A vague week for you where some plans may or may not come to fruition. Mars comes into line with the sun which means you’ll get your period, if you are a boy you’ll just get a slight headache. Totes unfair.

Cancer: A chance encounter with a new investment may lead to an opportunity with a past fling. Okay, you go into a newsagent to cash in a scratchie and you’ll run into your ex who will tell you about a new performance night she’s running. Zing.

The other ones: A series of small melodramas will facilitate the grandiose needs / losses saga of your superego that has been chasing its own tail since childhood culminating in an Escher’s staircase of achievements and disappointments that maintains the cycle of a perpetually unfulfilled dream or ‘potential happiness’ on the horizon until you get into very late middle age and realise that no matter what you do you’re always slightly frustrated and you truly embrace this and decide to tour the world with your partner in matching fluro tracksuits pointing loudly at ethnic children and taking phone calls in galleries.

QUOTE FOR THE DAY

“The key to being single is being 100% satisfied that your life is running at 50%.”
Justin Heazlewood.

SEE YOU ON TOUR FANGBOTS!

THE END

———————————————————————–

LAYTOPING IS MISPELLED, AND FREE! WHAT A GREAT GIFT IDEA, AND IT’LL CUT YOUR ENERGY BILLS IN HALF! SEND IT TO A FRIEND!
****************************************************************************
NOTICE AND DISCLAIMER

The themes and analytical arrangements discussed in the text are not necessarily those of the author but a psychological reflection of the short term memory bank of mainstream and underground media coupled with the cut-up poetics of conversational snatches, subconscious pictorial images, mind’s eye abstracts and a pinch of universe scolding original thought. It is the intention of the publication that the readership is free to interpret, dissect and absorb the information in any way they see fit. Notwithstanding, while the publisher is entirely in compliance with the connotations associated with the privileges of free speech and a democratic right to choose how one reacts to a third party’s opinions, the publisher weakly urges that the reader is mindful of potentially unforseen external factors which may result in an overtly sardonic or cynical mind frame through which the text is attitudinally sullied. In the rich muddle of our rainbow supersoul, where the conscious outlook is refreshed as often as the eye is blinked, it can be difficult to view the world with anything resembling a consistent watermark of beauty, or at least inner solitude, to remind us of the cherished, gifted and uplifting nature of our pure selves. LapTopping urges all readers to practice spiritual ergonomics and ensure they arrange their physical and emotional selves in an appropriate position as to encourage the flow of good spirits between mind, heart and stomach and in turn avoid the joy-clogging aches and fear-spasms caused by incorrect positioning of the soul’s self-forgiveness duct, which should be in regular contact with the fun-brain’s attitude centre of creative playfulness.

****************************************************************************

PUZZLE ANSWER:
A. He stayed at home due to a panic attack.

Well, if the album isn’t dead it’s certainly lying in intensive care with a cracked case and a terminal cross-hatch of scratches on the disc. Since the advent of iTunes, the trend has been that no-one under twenty buys CD’s any more, and why would they? The things get ripped straight onto computers and then what use are they? To load into your discman on the train? To slot alphabetically into your CD tower? I’m afraid this, along with lying on your bed reading lyrics in 6-point is relegated to the 90’s along with Vienetta’s and magic eye. Now we get an album cover gravatar and a tracklist destined to be corrupted by file sharing cowboys and DJ shuffle.

In the past singles have been used as an incentive to sell the album. Now, the concept of buying a CD single is laughable (They’re $10, if you can find them, when a single itunes track is $1.70.) Instead, kids are happily breaking up albums like chocolate bars to get the no obligation songs they like. At best, they may grace the others with a thirty second audition. This is why tunes need catchy hooks more than ever, for the iTunes preview – and songwriters thought radio edits were harsh.

Spare a thought for the poor musicians, who spend the best part of two years and tens of thousands of dollars painstakingly recording their six stringed super hits in 24-bit high definition, only to have it crudely crushed into an .mp3 and listened to through flat earphones. Those of you who take music for granted should realise the audio quality of an .mp3 compared to a CD is like going from a five course indian banquet down to a sausage roll. Music isn’t just about that awesome guitar riff or those pounding synth drums, it’s about the dynamic texture of the high treble frequencies blending with the mid-level tones and the soothing sub-bass. Just think of the loud shirted, poor postured producer who has sat at the mixing desk labouring for months to ensure the song reaches your ears with just the right blend of equalisation. Every time you listen to your ipod, he cries control tears.

So, is our lord and saviour Thom Yotke correct in peering down from his post-EMI pedestal and declaring the album dead for us non-visionary plebs who don’t have a spare two million strong fanbase to give our album away for free to? (Crazy Thom’s gone mad, he’s slashed his prices not his wrists!) Part of me says screw you dude. I’ve waited my whole life to be able to make an album. The rush of running a knife along the box and seeing the ribbed canvas of a hundred identical spines glowing back. To lie in bed listening to my own ideas and sonic creations purring through the cradle of compression and the gloss of mastering. I think of the hours I’ve dedicated to the finer details like liner notes, the font, barcode placement and gap before the self indulgent secret track – all of it will be demolished by someone grabbing a heap of shit off a mate’s ipod. Sure, that person may have otherwise never been exposed to your music, but do you really want to be dubbed ‘Unknown artist’ with your hit record ‘unknown album’ featuring the breathtaking single ‘track one.’

When I was fifteen I recorded my first album of songs ‘Ad-Liberation.’ This was done in my bedroom, on a little cassette walkman with a stereo microphone blu-takked to the indoor clothesline (how Radiohead record, I believe). I finished the songs, most of them seven minute power ballads about Jenny Garth, complete with mum knocking on the door in 4/4 time and ‘waiting for the cat to get off the lyrics’ solos. I gave the album a texta drawn cover, and the wax seal of any amateur production, extensive copyright information. It’s the professional equivalent of playing dress-ups, writing ‘all rights reserved’ and having no idea what it means. Released on tape, ‘Ad-Liberation’ fast-forwarded into obscurity when not even my biggest fan, me, could stand to listen to it any more, but it made me hungry to one day make the real thing.

I’m about to release my third Bedroom Philosopher album, happy in the knowledge that in this vintage obsessed era, my CD format is already considered retro. Though the album may be dying, music itself is thriving. It’s never been so accessible, and despite the file share explosion, there has been an apparent revival in young people buying vinyl. For now, it means that dad’s like me pushing thirty can proudly bang on about how great Radiohead CD’s were to Gen-i kids who can’t really hear and don’t really care. They’re too busy biting off more sausage roll than they can chew.

Having done a snap-survey of my friends I’ve concluded that for those of us that are single, it’s not easy. We’re all nursing a photo album of bruises in our hearts. We’re all staring longingly into the suburban sunset, waiting for the smooth arms of a perfect match to cradle us through this spiritual recession. We have so much to give and we feel like we are going to waste. We sit on public transport retina scanning from afar, while love songs poke us like senseless siblings. We glance at stockinged legs wondering if now’s the time to stand up, ride the bumps like a fate surfer and wander over with business cards in hand and a ‘hey…you seem really…nice…let me know if you want a coffee sometime…’ before thrusting our little rectangle mangle of a lifeforce into the clenched hand of the long-haired lovely, nursing shopping and a good book – innocent royalty in this fraction of a possibility.

How can we meet new people? Us loners. Us washed up lovers. How can we tune into the frequencies of those who would hold our arm as we picked out videos. Who would add a ‘kiss me’ to our things to do lists and watch the ground for us as we text-walked? What combination of words and actions could unlock the vault of chance that would lead us to a universe of warmth beneath covers and the body lock of sweetheart sweat – the autumn-fall of thoughts leading to the timeless utterance ‘I’m so glad I found you.’

How can we find those we’d be so glad we found?

We go to gigs, parties, we flick about on Facebook. Everyone looks occupied and unattainable. The beautiful people have their friends, their drinks in hand, they don’t need us and our overthought desperation. We over thought it already. Our sentences are like highschool clay, all fingerprints and lumpy joins. What could we possibly offer? We are on the outside of the painting looking in. Colours are creamy and expressions are effortless. It’s a dream in there. How could we approach? We are covered in shadows.

Within a typical day the average single person will create over 186 conflicting thoughts about love. They may tell themselves things like ‘this is a good time to be single’ within the same stanza as ‘I’m horny, everything’s fucked.’ This is normal, and is reflective of the human experience. We are wise-cracking muddles all wrapped up tight in string, like Kris Kringles waiting to be given to the right person. We are store-bought bundles of poetic observations, clever humour and kisses. Oh dear God we are good kissers. Did we mention this? Upon the well-timed mouth we’ll make you forget every insult you’ve ever been given. We’ll take you up in a hot air balloon and land you in a forest of flowers, make you biscuits of the ripest honey and read you the funniest and saddest story, in voices soft as rain.

You just have to find us.
We just have to find you.

• The Northcote (So Hungover) video is viralling out of control. It’s been Rage and Channel V videos of the week and will be aired on Video Hits this Saturday and Sunday. On the tubes it’s nearing 40K views and going strong. Feedback has been predominately positive. We had a swell video launch where Pose Tattoo, a supergroup of Melbourne indie muso’s played a gig. Sad Sanderson busted out ‘Boys Do Cry’ plus the original ‘Hey! That’s Sad.’ Check them out HERE.

• To make matters more confusing, I participated in an online ad for Metlink Melbourne where I penned a parody of Northcote called ‘Hurstbridge (So Sober)’ and then shot a lo-fi clip for it which hit the Internet before the real one. So that’s me doing a character, parodying me playing a character parodying scenester culture. It’s ironies equivalent of a back somersault with 3 ½ twists.

• The single tour was brilliant. Good crowds, good vibes. Hobart took out best gig honours with Canberra and Adelaide close behind. Sydney produced the baffling premise of my first sell-out show there but a mainstream audience down front who weren’t that into me. Newcastle was rowdy but fun for a free show while Brisbane I was end of tour tired, forgetting the music to Sudanese. Launceston was a small write-off, where I had to revert to my ‘walking up the back of the room yelling at people’ shtick. Like a relationship it’s no-ones fault, it’s about timing and sometimes these things just don’t work out.

• I have a manager and booking agent now, two things I’ve been hanging out for over the past two years. The delightful Anthea Cohen of Nibbles Music is taking care of business. I’ll be sure to keep on my toes, as website commenter Boris Yeltsin said: “Please, for the love of music, don’t get complacent now Justin. You’re in a privileged position, you’ve worked for it, and deserve it.” Thanks deceased Russian ex-President.

• The national album tour has been announced. I’ll be doing a 20 date tour over a month with The Awkwardstra. You can pre-book tickets HERE. Main tour partners will be The Boat People, Australia’s most under-rated band who have released a blinder of an album ‘Dear Darkly.’ I’d go as far to say it’s the best Oz album since Sleepy Jackson’s ‘Lovers.’ Check it out HERE. I also strongly recommend ‘My Volcano’ from superb eclectophiles Richard In Your Mind. Flaming Lips meets Avalanches.

ISSUE 78
Thursday July 8, 2010
**National album tour AUG/SEP now on sale. Click HERE.**
**Northcote video airing on Video Hits this weekend**

———————————————————————–

LT BIRTHDAYS

Happy Birthday my dear Nan, Edna Heazlewood 84 today!
Happy Birthday my dear Beck! 40 today!
Happy Birthday Ringo Starr 70 yesterday!

———————————————————————–

STREET TEAM NEEDED – POSTERS / MERCH

Would you like to put some posters up in your hometown in lieu of tickets to shows and promo albums? Alternatively, we seek retail superstars to operate the official merchandise desk in exchange for glamorous items. Teams of two tend to work best. Check the tour schedule and see where you and your pal / partner may be able to assist. In either case send an email to anthea at nibblesmusic dot com with BP STREET TEAM in the subject along with your name, number, postal address and brief experience / aspirations.

———————————————————————–

NORTHCOTE SINGLE TOUR HIGHLIGHTS

1. Josh Earl and I sitting in an Adelaide café watching a Nan in salmon trackies pulling a trolley.
2. Trying to order an orange, pineapple and ginger juice in same café. The waiter found it amusing. ‘We don’t have ginger but we do have guava,’ he offered, as if it works like that. Out of milk for your coffee? Try mayonnaise.
3. Improvising shouty blues songs about local shops shutting down. These included the Ducks Nuts pub being changed to Silk in Newcastle, the closure of North Hobart Praties and the demise of Magic Mountain in Glenelg.
4. Josh secretly tweeting about me: “i’m on a bus with the bedroom philosopher. He’s eating a tuna sandwich. NOT ON A BUS PHILOSOPHER. That’s not a public food / i’m at the airport 3 hours early. The philosopher is cranky. It is quite funny. His lunch was red rooster / the philosopher is now being harassed at the security check in. He is so cranky. It is so funny / he had to unpack his bag of leads and underwear. Durps are everywhere / now being checked for bombs. It’s like a script / landed and the cranky continues, he’s just told the cab driver to turn down his radio.”
5. Bruce Springsteen’s ‘Dancer In The Dark’ coming on everywhere we went.
6. Breakfast in Canberra, we ordered muesli’s with pomegranate and kiwi fruit. Waitress: These are girly muesli’s. Me: We are girly men.
7. After drinks at the Towny in Sydney. My friend Leigh started a game of writing out our top ten lists. It began with albums and then bands, books, movies, girl crushes and men you’d sleep with. Let me just say that watching The Truman Show with David Bowie and Maggie Gyllenhaal while listening to Revolver and flicking through Running With Scissors is my idea of a good time. At one point a group of nursing girls came up to talk to us and we said ‘we’re in the middle of writing our top ten favourite TV shows’ so they left.
8. Conversation on a Redline bus. Me: How do you come up with your style? Josh: I just walk into Jack London and say ‘Make me look like Mick Jagger in the 60’s.’ Me: I just walk into Salvation Army and say ‘make me look like Graeme Garden in the 70’s.’
9. In Launceston a drunk guy pulled me aside to give me his mates business cards while they watched on, smiling weirdly to themselves. One worked at Australia Post while the other was the branch manager of Reece, a bathroom and plumbing supplier.
10. There was smoke coming from our airplane cabin. Well, the Virgin Blue crew were on fire anyway. “Go into Hertz and show them your body parts, I mean boarding pass for a great deal.”

———————————————————————–

NEW SEGMENT! LYRIC POLICE

Bringing song writing laziness to justice.

The White Stripes – Hardest Button To Button

“I got a backyard
With nothing in it
Except a stick
A dog
And a box with something in it.”

GET SLEUTHING AND REPORT YOUR LYRICAL EVIDENCE NOW!

———————————————————————–

GET A WRIGGLE ON GOOGLET!
Phrases people have typed into Google to land on my website:

“bedroom philosophers lyrics riding around with the aces so hungover”
“dog manipulators”
“frankie is mainstream”
“is 74 degrees hot for shorts”
“what time can i mow on a sunday is there a law”
“spray & wipe lyrics”
“youtube haunted house in wagga wagga in bedroom”
“buy twin tub washing machine Hobart”
“girls in tight shorts bend backway”
“cushions bowel cancer”
“i ve retired and now i; m depressed”
“bob hawke what did he do in 1997-2010”
“how do i know im a philosopher?”
“things you find in a bedroom when hungover”
“the bedroom felosifes”

———————————————————————–

TIME IS CHEESE AND MOUSE IS HUNGRY!

Northcote (So Hungover) video.
Mess & Noise 100 thread-long argument about it.

———————————————————————–

A GIGGLE OF GIGS

HOBART COMEDY FESTIVAL
July 23-31. Details HERE.

SONGS FROM THE 86 TRAM NATIONAL ALBUM TOUR

Click HERE to book tickets through GoBookem.

Featuring those hipster slayin’ style masters The Awkwardstra bring all the breakbeat rockouts, folk-rock jamouts and jamfunk breakdowns you need with a pinch of earnestness and about five seconds of jazz. Plus extra special guests The Boat People (except Tas, SA n WA) and ex Machine Gun Fellatio tunesmith Pinky Beecroft for some dates.

Aug 12 Adelaide – Jive bar (w/ Cookie Baker and Guillaume Soloacoustic)
Aug 13 Launceston – Hotel New York (w/ Pinky Beecroft & The White Russians
and New Saxons)
Aug 14 Hobart – Brisbane Hotel (all ages 1:30pm start) (w/ PB & TWR and New
Saxons)
Aug 14 Hobart – Brisbane Hotel (over 18’s) (w/ PB & TWR)
Aug 15 Burnie – Arts Theatre (all ages 3pm start) (w/ New Saxons)
Aug 18 Canberra – ANU Bar
Aug 19 Wollongong – Harpe Hotel (w/ PB & TWR)
Aug 20 Sydney – The Factory (all ages 7pm start) (w/ PB & TWR)
Aug 21 Newcastle – Northern Star (w/ PB & TWR)
Aug 22 Cronulla – The Brass Monkey (w/ PB & TWR)
Aug 25 Scarborough – Indi Bar (w/ Gilroy & The Cold Shoulders + Stereo
Flower)
Aug 26 Bunbury – Prince Of Wales (w. Gilroy & The Cold Shoulders)
Aug 27 Northbridge – Rocket Room (w/ Gilroy & The Cold Shoulders +
Stereo Flower)
Aug 28 Brisbane – The Troubadour (w/ PB & TWR)
Aug 29 Brisbane – Old Museum (all ages 12:30pm start)
Aug 29 Byron Bay – Great Northern
Sep 1 Ballarat – Karova Lounge (w/ PB & TWR)
Sep 2 Geelong – National Hotel (w/ PB & TWR)
Sep 3 Hepburn Springs – The Palais (w/ PB & TWR)
Sep 4 Melbourne – Northcote Social Club (w/ PB & TWR)
Sep 5 Melbourne – Spanish Club (all ages 12:30pm start) (w/ Stonefield – ex
Iotah)
Sep 5 Melbourne Northcote Social Club (w/ Go-go Sapien) (who are brilliant!)

———————————————————————–

STORYTIME

NORTHCOTE (SO HUNGOVER) VIDEO **BEHIND THE SCENES**

The Northcote clip started out with a budget of 1.5 million because I wanted it to be done claymation style, but working with metal. How cool would that be? Basically you’d make a metal model of things and then you’d have to melt down each piece and rebuild it, moving it just slightly. I thought it was genius but my label said that Adam Elliot’s agent wasn’t returning their calls and the last thing he had said was that it would take an estimated 65 years to complete, but he only had two days. Then I suggested doing it with blu-tak but we didn’t have the budget for that many packets and michelgondry @ hotmail bounced so we went with my forty fifth idea which was to film me and my band doing all the stuff in the clip.

Here is some trivia – that isn’t my moustache! We bought it at a Midnight Juggernauts charity auction for $40, 000 which took up half the budget of the clip. Afterwards, it crawled away and ended up in Kram’s sandwich! We laughed, until his manager spilt chai latte on my ipad. (industry thing). Most of the rest of the money went towards the special effects. We had to build a special Tim Rogers face mask. Yes, that is actually a dude from Grinspoon wearing a prosthetic face and official Tim Rogers wig which I got in a You Am I showbag last year at the Royal Melbourne. Realistic huh? Tim was unavailable for the clip due to TV commitments. Lost was on. It was one he’d taped so you can fast forward the ads.

So anyway, what else can I tell you? The scenes onboard a tram actually take place onboard a bus which had the wheels removed. The producers then built a special two hundred metre rail circuit for it to ride on. The film business is a tricky one. It’s all about lighting. Lighting and colour grading. I gave red about a ten while brown ended up around 1. Brown used to be my favourite until people on a music blog said it was pathetic so who am I to argue? I’m into blues at the moment. Go Fev! I mean, the other players. There’s a bunch of other cameos in the clip including Angie Hart, Robin from The Boat People and Paris Wells as the waitress. I really wanted Angry Anderson to be the mixer for Pose Tattoo but I think he’s in France beating up Phoenix.

The sound mixer was DC Root! Who was in TISM but never in Scandal’us. He was the hardest to track down so after a lot of faxes and Whereisses I found him in a taxi going through West Preston KFC. I tailed the cab on my bike and had a quick word with him while the window was down. He wasn’t even buying food, he just needed a bunch of refresher towels as he was about to play at the espy and there’s never any toilet paper. Even in the band room. WHY Espy WHY? Myself and the director worked intensively with DC to channel (mind the pun) just the right blend of contempt and apathetic bitterness for the sound guy. We also did some character exercises to determine his emotional arc and back story. Turns out he was in a folk-ska band called The Band Who Played Too Much who were about to do things in the UK until the lead singer died from a smug overdose.

I do all my own kissing. Already the clip has lost its ‘G’ rating because of the intensity of that scene. I can’t help it. That’s what I’m about – smouldering intensity. That whole party scene was an added bonus. Those shots are actually of our wrap party and intended for the making-of documentary. The girl who played my love interest wasn’t even meant to be in it, she just did hair and make up but I couldn’t stop cracking onto her. Now we’ve settled down, buying a house for 750 in Westgarth. That’s per month. Not bad for a seven couple sharehouse.

That is a stunt double at the end on the bike scene. Cos I’m so cool I was unable to ride in an uncool enough fashion, so we got some beard from Architecture in Helsinki to fill in. He did ok. Overall, I’d give this clip four and a half stars and say it was the Australian equivalent of Peter Gabriel’s ‘Sledgehammer.’ It would have been five stars if we’d done my original claymation idea. Claymation with ice sculptures? How cool would that be?

THE END

———————————————————————–

LAYTOPING IS MISPELLED, AND FREE! WHAT A GREAT GIFT IDEA, AND IT’LL CUT YOUR ENERGY BILLS IN HALF! SEND IT TO A FRIEND!
****************************************************************************
NOTICE AND DISCLAMMER

LapTopping is a diamond chiselled lemon fuelled rockety mcbusiness of nuclear proportions which sits in the ambient ambivalence between regal and riled. The all-star fusspots concerned with the satirical grooming of youth ideals and nightclub breadwinners may position themselves in accordance with sundial moodswing dreamscape conversational blow-outs. The author experiences pleasing emotions upon hearing about the success of others and at no point, under no circumstances sinks into a jealousy based rage wishing to throw either that person and/or himself out a window. Get super brilliant in your soul tank Dr Thoughtwaves! Tick off the glam plan with a two-tone flame pen. Today, your t-shirt pile, tomorrow an HBO special. Eat daal, play a synthesiser, wear a vest! Smile your teeth lasers into the handsome horizon. ‘Tis a daily dream drop that anoints your personal adventure like a lolly from God. Keep on suckin’.

****************************************************************************

ISSUE 77
Sunday April 25, 2010
**Songs From The 86 Tram album out now**
**Northcote single tour kicks off this week**

———————————————————————–

LT BIRTHDAYS

Happy Birthday Rene Zellweger 41 today!
Happy Birthday Hank Azaria 46 today!
Happy Birthday Al Pacino 70 today!

———————————————————————–

SONGS FROM THE 86 TRAM @ MELBOURNE COMEDY FESTIVAL HIGHLIGHTS:

1. Climbing into a taxi after the show and having a kid yell out ‘hypocrite.’
2. Having the Melbourne tram conductor appreciation society turn up, including an old fulla in full conductor regalia including shorts with socks and original ticket bag with a big bundle of pennies that he handed out to punters after the show with a kindly smile on his face.
3. Doing an extra show in Rich Fulcher’s room and leaving one of my albums on his leopard print dress. I later met him at the after party and couldn’t think of anything to say.
4. The night my tie kept falling over the guitar strings during New Media, forcing me to make a joke of it and play the rest of the song strumming with the tie.
5. Doing the sexy tram inspector dance to a girl who looked somewhat young. Whispering to her ‘how old are you’ mid routine, hearing her reply ‘fifteen’ and surreptitiously grooving over to another woman in the front row.
6. Having Nan see the show, her first trip to Melbourne in twenty years. Her review ‘yes, you’ve done well putting together your lyrics and the music.’
7. Riding my bike home from the supermarket with a backpack full of groceries and realising that it was the same Sunday, sixteen shows in, that I’d broken my arm the year before riding home with a backpack full of groceries and having a minor panic attack, monitoring the parked cars like a special agent.
8. Being on stage, powered off nothing but my own natural energy, feeling completely relaxed and in control.
9. The jokes people didn’t normally laugh at, and the one off laughers justifying their existence.

———————————————————————–

TINY LEGENDS – Moments that fell down the back of the couch.

From Hugh Rabinovici.

“I’ve been having increasingly tense phone confrontations with half-deaf, vaguely-aggravated pizza shop workers whilst trying to order my potentially delectable dinner. It would seem they are having real issues with the name ‘Hugh’.”

Pizzaman: What name please?
Hugh: Hugh.
Pizzaman : Q?
Hugh: No, Hugh.
Pizzaman: Q, as in the letter?
Hugh: No, Hugh, as in the name Hugh
Pizzaman: Can you spell it?
Hugh: I should hope so, H-U-G-H
Pizzaman: H-U-G-Y
Hugh: No, that would spell Hugy…

EMAIL US YOUR TINY LEGENDS.

———————————————————————–

INANIMATE OBJECT BEREAVEMENT NOTICES

******
DEAD
******

From Sarah Lambert.

“I had a fantastic pair of boots that were tall and black, with a spattering of buckles and laces. They made me look cooler than I have ever had the ability to act and they were even comfortable. Better than that, they’d only cost $40 and had so far lasted me a couple of years. I went to put them on the other night, having not worn them in a few months. But there was something wrong. On closer inspection I saw that the entire insides of the boot had been eaten and that the heel was now hollow. Apparently a mouse had got into the house, become trapped in my boot and tried to escape by eating it’s way out. Awful.
RIP boots + ability to sleep at night without worrying about mice.”

*************************************
WE PRAY FOR THEIR RECALIBRATION
*************************************

SEND YOUR BEREAVEMENT NOTICES TO THIS ADDRESS.

———————————————————————–

GET A WRIGGLE ON GOOGLET!
Phrases people have typed into Google to land on my website:

“bedroom philosopher”
“bedroom philopher”
“the bedroom philosospher”
“bedroom philosipha”
“bedroom philosfer”
“bedroom philosifer”
“bedroom philoshopher”
“trhe bedrfoom phulosooher”
“the bedroom philosiphists”
“bedroom phyloser”
“bedroom philsiopgher”
“bedroom felousifer”
“song club jeans wallet band lyrics yeah man my party molly meldrum”
“ajax spray and wipe lyrics”

———————————————————————–

TIME IS CHEESE AND MOUSE IS HUNGRY!

A recent interview I gave for The Vine. It’s probably the best one I’ve ever done.

———————————————————————–

A GIGGLE OF GIGS

NORTHCOTE (SO HUNGOVER) SINGLE TOUR.
Check the Facebook invite HERE.
Performing solo with support from Josh Earl, ‘cept Brisbane.

Wednesday April 28 – The Front Café, Canberra
2 Wattle St, Lyneham – (02) 6249 8453
Doors 8pm. $12 (door sales only)

Thursday April 29 – The Vanguard, Sydney
(As part of Sydney Comedy Festival)
Doors 6:30PM The Vanguard, 42 King St, Newtown Bookings sydneycomedyfest.com.au 02 9020 6966
$15 on door or $18.80 if you pre-book.

Friday April 30 – View Factory, Newcastle.
8pm.

Wednesday May 5 – Grace Emily, Adelaide
232 Waymouth St, Adelaide. (08) 8231 5500 Doors 8:30pm. $12 (door sales only)

Thursday May 6 – Alley Cat, Hobart
381 Elizabeth St, North Hobart. Tasmania. (03) 62312299 Doors 8pm. $12 (door sales only)

Friday May 7 – Royal Oak, Launceston
14 Brisbane St, Launceston, Tasmania (03) 6331 5346 Doors 8pm $12 (door sales only)

Sunday May 9 – Powerhouse, Brisbane
119 Lamington St. New Farm
(07) 3358 8600
Free. Headlining ‘Livewired’ Comedy. Starts 6:30pm.

———————————————————————–

STORYTIME

ME V AUDIENCE

Me: Hey I’m just gonna pop down and get next year’s comedy festival show, do you want anything?

Audience: Jokes.

Me: Anything else?

Audience: Nah that’s all.

Me: Don’t want a storyline or anything?

Audience: Um. No. Oh…maybe.

Me: Just a little one?

Audience: Well, not necessarily, maybe just like, repeat something in the middle and at the end.

Me: Oh yeah, (writing down) call backs.

Audience: Yeah, it doesn’t have to be much.

Me: (writing down) …will seem more clever than I actually am…

Audience: Huh?

Me: Nothing. Right, so no pathos then?

Audience: Nah, just jokes and call backs.

Me: Ok. Multi-media?

Audience: No.

Me: Costumes?

Audience: Nah.

Me: Audience participation?

Audience: God no.

Me: Character shit?

Audience: Does it have jokes?

Me: Possibly, providing it doesn’t compromise my theatrical motives as deep down I’m a frustrated actor.

Audience: Perhaps not then.

Me: Songs?

Audience: Are they you doing twenty different ones over the same four chords?

Me: No.

Audience: Don’t worry about it.

Me: I rhyme shits with tits.

Audience: Sure, maybe a couple.

Me: Um, what else, are you sure you don’t want complex tech-heavy interactive stuff, me talking to myself in the
future via a pre-filmed webcam? What about a series of letters from a famous celebrity that’s just my mate doing a Mr T impression with reverb?

Audience: Again, actual jokes will be more than enough.

Me: (writing down) Just jokes…

Audience: Actual jokes.

Me:

Me: Are you sure?

Audience: YES! Now go, I’m trying to watch two and a half men.

Me; I hate that show.

Audience: At least it’s got jokes.

Me:

Audience: What? What’s your problem?

Me: I dunno, I just thought you’d want more from your comedy.

Audience: More than jokes? What else is there?

Me: You know, a good comedy show should challenge your idea of mainstream ideology, it should reflect your
world in a refreshing yet thought provoking way, it should make you laugh but also make you cry.

Audience: Sounds awful. That’s what work is for. Listen dude, you have no idea what it’s like for us do you?

Me; What do you mean?

Audience: Have you ever been in the audience?

Me: Yeah.

Audience: Of your own show?

Me: Well, no.

Audience: Then seriously, think twice. Can you imagine what it’s like to go to a job you don’t particularly like five days a week so you can afford skyrocketing rent and mortgage payments and put petrol in the car so you can go down to the beach with your kids on the weekend fulfilling the psychological models of satisfaction created by your parents. Can you begin to imagine how many times I’ve put my own welfare and happiness second to those of my bosses, children and friends due to the passive aggressive martyrdom carer status I cling to, a muddled manifestation of self loathing and arrogance. Do you have any idea how mentally draining that is?

Me:

Audience: Then think about the magnificent symmetry of organisation that is required to wade through the comedy festival book and find a show that will suit the polarised tastes of myself and my partner, secure a babysitter, fight the brain sizzling frustration of peak hour traffic, settle on a restaurant and fluke the timing to ensure plenty of time to find the venue for an evening show. By this point, just how much challenging do you reckon we need?

Me: Um, I don’t know, not heaps?

Audience: Amid the thicket of internal frenzy, toiletry aches and the pungent steam of modest air conditioning, how sweet do you imagine the sound to be of a well conceived, structurally sound, masterfully delivered joke?

Me:

Audience: And how often, pray tell, do we, the paying public, get this, consistently, over the hour?

Me: It’s not easy.

Audience: No, making us laugh for an hour isn’t easy. It’s a real…

Me: …what?

Audience: It’s a real…say it….

Me: (sigh)…challenge.

Audience: YES! It’s a challenge, for the performer to write a series of jokes. Actual jokes. Fresh, clever, unexpected jokes. Jokes that makes you piss your pants like you did in high school when you first heard the one about ‘what’s brown and sticky?’

Me: A stick.

Audience: Damn right. A stick. Comedy is surprise my friend and I’ve seen plenty of professional comedians in my time, yet there’s never been a greater surprise than that punchline delivered with a Milo eating grin, by my best friend in the school dunnies all those years ago.

Me:

Audience: Sorry to rant at you about my frustrations with the world, I just thought you might, y’know, (laughs) like to see how it feels.

Me: Yeah, okay. God it’s good to hear you laugh.

Audience: I mean, what exactly is your aversion to jokes?

Me: I just think, you know, too many of them can be a bit…

Audience: What?

Me: A bit, I dunno (holds up fingers as inverted commas) comedy 101.

Audience: And what does that mean?

Me: It’s just a bit predictable and easy. I mean, it’s a comedy show, so of course people are already expecting jokes.

Audience: And this is a problem how exactly?

Me: I think a few jokes are okay, but I also think that a comedy show can be about skilled writing, acting, vocal performance and music with lashings of political and philosophical overtones.

Audience: So if comedy is about surprise, the surprise you offer is that you aren’t going to be that funny.

Me: Not exactly, but there is an element of…

Audience: May I ask, have you heard of the Melbourne Fringe Festival?

Me: Okay! There’s no need to be cruel.
Audience: I’m the AUDIENCE, you know how it works – individually we’re sweet, intelligent souls, but collectively we’re a malicious bunch of tactless oafs.

Me: I’m not sure why I let you move in.

Audience: You need us. Now, off you go. When you get back I’ll make apple crumble.

Me: Rockin!

THE END

———————————————————————–

LAYTOPING IS MISPELLED, AND FREE! WHAT A GREAT GIFT IDEA, AND IT’LL CUT YOUR ENERGY BILLS IN HALF! SEND IT TO A FRIEND!
****************************************************************************
NOTICE AND DISCOCLAM:

THIS EFLAIL IS NINTENDOED FOR THE YOUSE OF THE ADDRESSISSIPPEE and yay contain grinformation that is confipoogal. If you are snot the nintendoed recicicippee, you are hear ye hear ye notified that any youse, dissemidoodah, distribiscuits or reseduction of this eflail or the contained grinformation is strictly prohiwibble.
IF YOUSE HAVE DECEIVED THIS EFLAIL IN TERROR, prease notify the sender by retard ewail and destroy all floppies of the aboriginal massage.
THIS CORPORATEY EFLAIL CYSTERN IS FOR BUSINESSISH YOUSE ONLY. Grinformation yay be monitored and red carded, and scoffensive, grinappropriate or illegret material will snot be bollywood. Except as required by coleslaw, HIS PUMPANY DOES SNOT RESENT WARRANT AND/OR GUARANTEETOTAL that the grintegrity of this eflail has bean braintained nor that the communoocachoo is free of terrors, billy ray virus, contraception or indifference.

****************************************************************************
“The courage of the artist is to see the best in humanity when they feel the worst in themself. They will be flung by family, abandoned by administration, and lulled by lovers, yet through all of this, a colourful fire burns, brighter than the sun, from the depths of the soul. When one takes a full breath in the lungs, the fire is fanned, and spreads through the body like an aurora. This is the personal God, who knows that the importance of one’s work will come before all else, especially the sour candy of self-pity.”

Click HERE to see me on Nova. Click HERE to read a track by track of ‘Songs From The 86 Tram’ on Mess & Noise. Feel free to enter the ensuing flame war and defend my honour. Songs From The 86 Tram out now at all shops!

NEWS

* The Northcote (So Hungover) video shoot went swimmingly! The clip will be launched real soon. If you’re in Melbourne you can sneak along to the Workers Club on June 5 and see it for yourself.

* Songs From The 86 Tram has been released through Shock. I trust this means you can find the album parked somewhere between Beck and The Bee Gees in your local record emporium. It’s got thirteen tracks and I believe it’s my best work to date. It features all the songs from the live show but not the spoken word characters. ‘Northcote (So Hungover)’ has continued along its merry way, being the most requested song on Super Requests on seven occasions, and being playlisted on Sydney’s Fbi and getting a regular spin on Melbourne’s RRR and PBS. There’s a pretty funny bootleg of it up on YouTube, complete with 90’s style grungy audio.

* I had an absolute dream run in the Comedy Festival, selling all but 30 tickets in a 22 show run. Crowds were overwhelmingly into it, bar a few restless weekend audiences who loved mucking about during the first song and getting up halfway to go and get beers. I had to put on two extra shows in the 200 seat banquet room, the first of these sold out and this was the show I had filmed. I’m hoping this means my days of playing small hot rooms are over as I got quite a taste for the sound of two hundred people clapping (much better than one). Injury wise I made it through unscathed, although my voice took quite a beating, and I underwent a strict routine of steam rooms, warm teas and early nights. Congrats also to Josh ‘train cakes’ Earl who had a blinder, selling out lots of his shows and getting his head on the comedy all stars gala.

* There are still a few ‘We Are Tramily’ tshirts left over. They can be ordered from me if you’re keen.

Click HERE to purchase from iTunes.

1. Middle Aged Mum
2. We Are Tramily
3. Sudanese
4. Trishine
5. (Interlewd)
6. Northcote (So Hungover)
7. Irish Girl
8. Tram Inspector
9. Man On A Tram
10. Song To Nod Off To
11. In My Day (Nan)
12. New Media
13. Old Man At End

Written by Justin Heazlewood. Produced by Chris Scallan at The Soft Centre, Melbourne. Mastered by Greg Calbi at Stirling Studios, NY. Strings on ‘Trishine’ arranged by Hugh Rabinovici. Fanfare on ‘New Media’ arranged by Chris Scallan. Design by Tambourine Design. Illustration by David Blumenstein. The Bedroom Philosopher: Voice, acoustic guitar, accordion. Introducing: 
The Awkwardstra. Hugh Rabinovici: Drums. Andy Hazel: Bass. Gordon Blake: Electric guitar, sitar. Jamie Power: Percussion. * * * Scott Griffiths: Piano, harp, synths, percussion. Harry Angus: Trumpet. Jessica Venables: Cello. Willow Stahlut: Violin, viola. Xani Colac: Violin. David Rabinovici: Violin. DJ Who: Scratching. Nicole Shenko: Backing vocals.

Ya, so Radar Radio are loving Northcote (So Hungover) so I’m writing a tidy blog for them. Clap your specs on it HERE.

• Second single ‘Northcote (So Hungover)’ is going a bit apeshit. Triple J have put it on rotation, spinning it steadily over the past month. Last week is was the most requested song on Super Requests on five occasions. FBI in Sydney have just added it too. Some kids have put a bootlegged version up on YouTube, which has over 10, 000 views including someone mishearing ‘we get Molly Meldrum kudos’ as ‘we get Molly Meldrum to do us.’ Naturally, Triple M have jumped on board, playlisting the song on their digital station ‘Radar Radio.’ It was featured on Ugly Phil’s Triple M program who made mention of ‘I’m So Modern’ and after playing the track went into a baffling impression of the accent which ended with him doing an Asian impression.

• The Songs From The 86 Tram album will be released through Shock on April 16. Some advanced copies can be bought at my Comedy Festival shows and at the merchandise stand at info booth, outside Town Hall. You can pre-order the album in any JB or indie record store the week before release, plus it’ll be up on iTunes.

• Songs From The 86 Tram won ‘Best Cabaret Production’ at the Melbourne Green Room theatre awards. I was unable to attend the ceremony as I was in bed with bronchitis and a 39 degree temperature.

• Yarra Trams are sponsoring the show, featuring my posters on eight of their trams for a month. Things are going REALLY well. It’s terrifying.

• I won’t be doing Edinburgh this year now, I’ve decided to focus on a national album tour with the band in August/September. It’d be great to do some all ages shows in each of the major cities, if anyone knows any good venues / contacts in this area do let me know.

• I’m climbing into the backseat of Lime Champions for a while, allowing the profoundly talented Damien Lawlor to take the wheel. Over the next few weeks we’ll be featuring a number of Comedy Festival comedians sampling their material. That’s every Monday at 7pm, streamable at the rrr site. There’s a new podcast up HERE.

• In January, while feeling fragile and weird at home in Tassie, I decided to cull my Facebook friendship list from 480 to 80. This may have offended some people and if it has, I apologise. After a steady bombardment of event invites and gaff, I decided to keep my personal Facebook for people I am regularly in contact with, and all other communication to go through the Bedroom Philosopher one. Facebook bothers me. I see it as a socially competitive, spiritually distracting ego poker machine that I am forced to participate in. If I unfriended you it doesn’t mean I don’t like you, or represent a dismissing of our friendship, it means I need to be selfish and selective about paring down the amount of information I receive. Also, the invasively intimate nature of the site meant that I was no longer comfortable with ‘everyone’ knowing my business and seeing photos of me eating chicken sandwiches at parties. I too need some privacy. I ask for your understanding on this matter. I am still easily contacted, and reply to most comments left on the Bedroom Philosopher site. I keep umming and aaahing about Twitter. Seriously, after FB I said no more. I update four different sites as it is. Some people have real problems.