The Bedroom Philosopher

W/ Josh Earl. $5….

W/ Josh Earl. $8….

Elizabeth St, Hobart. W/ Josh Earl. $8….

St Kilda. $12….

East Brunswick Club, East Brunswick….

Smith St, Collingwood. Spoken word evening w/ Joelistics (TZU). $?…

Powerhouse Theatre, Brisvegas. Free!…

Hotel William, Darlinghurst, Sydney. $10….

Roxbury Hotel, Glebe, Sydney. $15/$12…

Friend In Hand Hotel, Glebe, Sydney. $12…

Supporting Mojo Juju….

They say when you’re lying on your deathbed thinking back over your life, you won’t be worrying about what job you had or how much money you made, but about the people you loved, in particular your one true love. Failing that there’s always your greatest races on Mario Kart 64. Such is the divine fun of what I am calling the greatest console game of all time.

Firstly, I’m not a gamer, but could have easily been. The last console I owned was an Amstrad CPC 464 green screen when I was fourteen that loaded games up on cassette. (I’m not in my mid 40’s, I just started way behind everyone else. I was playing Bombjack when other kids …

I tip the last drops of water into my mouth and rinse out my glass, steering the tap lever up and left. Fluid thunders out of the pipe like tubular ocean – the Amazonian sound-spray filling my ears. The weight of a hundred micro-storms splice over my hand as if my knuckles were river-rocks. I stare into the black drain-hole as the raindrop tapestry pours like a dragon-wound, sluicing in with dish grit, and dissipating like a star. It’s been eight earth seconds and only now are the artificial cogs of man-churned electricity effecting the water. Gradually the temperature rises – so gradually my hand is deceived and the atmosphere of my skin throbs like a dessert. I grab the …

Who hasn’t watched Fight Club and thought: “Yeah – maybe if I smacked my friends around a bit I’d alleviate some of this pedestrian, inner-city tension. Maybe I am getting a bit soft. Have I ever even been in a fight? When was the last time I tried a ninja kick at book club, or a full nelson at Friday night drinks?” Naturally, you’d never follow through. Fighting is, as the aforementioned movie realistically depicts, quite bloody. We’ve all got work and school tomorrow, who can afford the black eyes and savaged teeth? No, Fight Club would just never work here, fortunately I’ve thought of a consumer friendly ‘Fight Club lite’ variation.

It’s called Food Slap Club. The rules are …

The Forum Theatre. 9:30pm….