The Bedroom Philosopher

Newcastle. Venue TBA….

48 Montague Road, South Brisbane. (Single Launch) w/ special guests.  2pm. $8….

CLICK HERE TO WATCH NEW WOW WOW’S SONG FILM CLIP. (Choose ‘watch in high quality).
CLICK HERE TO BUY WOW WOW’S SONG ON iTUNES.

(Brought to you by Geometric Jane’s Psychedelic Albatross Line-Art Restoration and Ambiguous Homewares Emporium. Simply drop in and drop out as our epilepsy inducing range of kaleidoscopic patterns and Geneva convention breaching colour combinations blaze through your home decorating imagination like a Crayola bushfire.)

• Meet Wow Wow. He’s the new single. Wow Wow is my friend and he means well. He likes to tell stories, and really hopes you like them. While Wow Wow could be a career destroying choice of second single, it does tend to get reactions from people, and you may need …

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LapTopping – The Bit Long, Official E-zine of The Bedroom Philosopher
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ISSUE 66
Wednesday September 17 2008
Estimated Reading Time: 12:21. (Did you know, it takes you longer to read LapTopping on a sunny day because you’re more likely to get distracted by colleagues asking you to play Frisbee?)

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LT BIRTHDAYS

Happy Birthday Baz Luhrmann 46 today!
Happy Birthday Anastacia 35 today!

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SONG TO GET STUCK IN YOUR HEAD OF THE DAY

Jeremy Jordan – Right Kind Of Love

“It’s the right kind of love
It’s the right kind of night
You’re the right kind of girl”

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RESPONSES TO LAPTOPPING #65

Susan:
“Enjoyed your recent e-zine but cannot help but read between the …

Livewire Comedy. Free. 7pm….

(Saturday: 11:15am The Shed. 2pm The Train. Sunday: 12:15pm Stoked On Hesse)….

(This piece originally appeared in Frankie #23)

Dear Blog, Today I did this and said that and made this private joke and generally my grammar was terrible and I got myself into a situation with no dramatic tension or character arcs and I guess you had to be there. *SUMBIT*

Sound familiar? Yes, tickle me Qwertyuiop: it’s blog-o’clock! Enter the literary dark ages as a million volume omnibus of misspelled first drafts and textual healing is spammed out of Generation-Why? keyboards quicker than you can Yahoo! ‘line breaks please!’ Hey, don’t get me wrong, this influx in self-narration can only be good for the online diary industry – it’s just the readers union I feel sorry for.

In high school …

(This piece originally appeared in Frankie #22)

After my Pop passed away last year I found myself wearing his clothes. This was nothing new. Back in 1998 when I first discovered op shopping I realised I had an exclusive treasure trove right under my nose. During a regular weekend jaunt to Nan & Pop’s I asked politely if I could inspect their wardrobe, and with the excitement of one passing through the ‘Staff Only’ door at Salvos, initiated a gangly, late teens version of dress ups. Whenever a fellow second-hand droog complimented me on my retro jacket it was with great pride that I said it was my Pop’s.

Adorned in a full set of his clothes, I strolled through …

There’s never a more vulnerable time in one’s life than when they step outside the door of the hairdresser’s. As a guy, the thought running through my head is almost always the same – ‘TOOOOO SSHHOOOORRRRTTTTT!!!’ Having abruptly cropped hair leaves your big goofy head exposed, like your face’s version of being caught with its pants down. With the central HQ of a fringe and straggly side bits gone, there’s nowhere for your forehead and ears to hide. You are destined to wander the streets, cheekbones freezing, trying to subtly peer at yourself in shop windows and jiggle your hair about like a crazed Mother setting the dinner table for Christmas.

You could be forgiven for thinking that hairdresser’s just …

It’s 7:13am Monday morning and I’m sprawled in my warm blue sheets having a dream. My girlfriend and I are sitting outside a beachside café while an aerial battle is going on. Two squadrons of about fifteen planes a piece are locked in frenetic oscillation, their khaki green bodies murky against the pale sky. Like the jerky direction of a Hollywood film, it’s hard to tell who the teams are. I sit entranced as they swoop, spin and somersault around each other, bullets and missiles cannoning in all directions, leaving wisps of grey morning smoke.

I pay attention to one plane in particular who’s underwing has the most foreboding set of weapons. It has been coasting along the skyline, away …

By the hammer of Thor! I have tinnitus. The alarm bell of my vulnerability is ringing in my ears. I’ve let the team down. I’ve hurt myself. I’ve quite possibly permanently damaged one of the most precious and valuable parts of my body. I’ve fucked up. (This is me being positive.)

A friend gave me a good analogy of Tinnitus. In some dormant volcanoes there are trees that grow inside. When the volcano blows, the trees are flattened, and never grow again. Inside your ear there are thousands of tiny hair follicles that pick up sound. When you are exposed to loud music, they can be damaged. Sufferers of Tinnitus are left with the ghost of audio haunting their ear …

Local taphouse, Cnr Carlisle/Chapel St, St Kilda. $12….

A new evening of performers telling stories. Free. Willow Bar. 222 High St Northcote….

REQUEST NEW SINGLE ‘WOW WOW’S SONG’ ON JJJ SUPER REQUESTS – PLEASE.

(Brought to you by Truckie helpline. A new two-way counselling service for those going through the ‘long haul.’ Includes AM radio tip-offs, swear word of the day and conflict resolution to deal with walkie-talkie kids jamming the line with fart noises.)

• My new album Brown & Orange has been mastered (by the power of greyskull), and is theoretically finished. I am currently trying to ‘shop it round’ to prospective record labels and management types. (Faxing the sheet music to cassette manufacturers in Turkey – standing in Sony carpark frisbeeing discs at the receptionist.) I am also considering an album release direct to cash converters which would at …

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LapTopping – The Bit Long, Official E-zine of The Bedroom Philosopher
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ISSUE 65
Wednesday July 23 2008
Estimated Reading Time: 10:01
**Join the BP’s Facebook page!**

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URGENT! POSITIONS VACANT!

A video editor / animator is desperately required to finish post-production on some background animations in my latest film clip. It’s done in Adobe After-effects. Being based in Melbourne is preferred. Enquire within.

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LT BIRTHDAYS

Happy Birthday Daniel Radcliffe 19 today!
Happy Birthday Monica Lewinsky 35 today!
Happy Birthday Slash 43 today!

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SONG TO GET STUCK IN YOUR HEAD OF THE DAY

Martika – Love thy will be done.

“Love thy will be done
I can no longer hide
I can no longer run.”…