Hello you vivacious pixelcutey!

You have vagued upon The Bedroom Philosopher’s official website
‘under construction since 2002.’

Well guess what – it’s going to be FINISHED within a month. I promise. Please come back. I have abandonment issues. C’mon – just give me one more month, I promise – the websites in the bag mate…honest….c’mon…I just got to see this bloke…he owes me one….really….he’s good for HTML….really….

The album ‘In Bed With My Doona’ featuring ‘I’m so postmodern’ is now available in all good record emporiums. (You might have to convince the indie maestro behind the counter that it exists – if you’re feeling cheeky, try and pick them up – buying my album creates a window…c’mon…)

Or, you can buy online here:
www.sanity.com.au/product.asp?intProductID=619414&…

To contact management: chris@laughingstock.com.au
To contact me: justin@bedroomphilosopher.com
To sign up to ‘LapTopping’ the official Ezine Thing of The Bedroom Philosopher, go to the bottom of the page.

NOTE: PLEASE CHECK YOUR JUNK EMAIL FOLDER COS I RECKON SOMETIMES MY GEAR GETS SENT THERE. THERE SHOULD BE A PUNK MAIL FOLDER MAN….

Here is list of current GIGS plus an excerpt from the latest issue of:
LapTopping Issue 44 “Team Pooglet!”

A GIGGLE OF GIGS (Melbourne, Sydney and Newcastle!)

• Thursday 15th September. 7pm. I’m MCing the Voiceworks launch at Trades Hall, Cnr Lygon St & Victoria St, Melbourne. The theme is futureshock! There will be lovely readings by spunky young writer’s, an experimental noise band Dry Lake, AND that sonic manipulator space guy you see on street corners sometimes. Also the world debut of ‘FORTUNE CRUSKITS!’

• Saturday 16th September. 8pm. Performing at the launch of the ‘Funnybone 500’ a funny short film festival. At the Willoughby Civic Centre. 409 Victoria Ave, Chatswood, Sydney. (just down from the mall. It’s next to Chatswood library.)

• Monday 26th September. 9pm. Renegades of Folk appearing at The Local, Cnr Carlisle and Chapel St, St Kilda. $7.

• Wednesday 28th September. 8:30pm. MCing the Jangle Gym, a massive line-up for the Fringe Festival. Gorgeous, Tim Minchin (just won Perrier award for best newcomer), Scod Edgar (Tripod) & Frank Skywalker (Gus’n’Frank) $10/$8. Bar Open. 317 Brunswick St. Fitzroy, Melbourne.

• Thursday 29th September. 8:30pm. RENEGADES OF FOLK DEBUT SYDNEY SHOW! This is Josh Earl and myself teaming up for delicate prog-comedy electro-parody carnage. Mic in Hand. Friend in Hand Hotel, Cowper st, Glebe. $11. (it’s just gone up)

• Friday 30th Sep – Oct 2 – THIS IS NOT ART FESTIVAL. Newcastle. I am doing several things throughout the festival, including a comedy workshop and a panel called ‘help! I’m a creative vampire’ at 10:30am on Friday – sure to be a life changing event. Check the program.

• Wednesday 5th October – 7pm. Headlining ‘Rapid Fire’ comedy concern. University of New South Wales Roundhouse on Anzac Pde in Kensington. (Nearest cross street is High St) Not sure of costs.

• Thurdsday 6th October – Saturday 8th October. RENEGADES OF FOLK DEBUT FEATURE LENGTH FRINGE FESTIVAL SHOW! Witness the rehearsal of a lifetime! Bar open, 317 Brunswick St. Fitzroy, Melbourne. 7pm. $12/$10.

NOTE: All gig information is barely correct at time of printing.

THE BEDROOM PHILOSOPHER’S SONGWRITING WORKSHOP!
Songwriting credits will be shared with everyone who submits an item that I use*.

Okay Team Pooglet – the plan is, to write a song that is basically a long ballad dedicated to lots of pop culture items that have disappeared since my childhood. I’m not entirely sure how I’m going to construct it – it will be rather hard for it not to become a ‘list’ song (like pomo, mcrock etc.) but I’m hoping the palpability of the memories will override any form repetition.

Now, everyone will remember different things about their childhoody times depending on age, location, socio economic background. Basically I am going for a certain zone – mainly one that I can remember – so here are some parameters and examples.

a) I’m thinking mid 80’s till about mid 90’s

b) I’m thinking snackfoods, toys, fashion items, household appliances, tv shows (that are level 3 obscure and beyond) and any other pop culture entities that linger in your memory. I’m avoiding songs and bands and movies as they’re a bit too easy.

c) If anyone has that ‘Things from the 80’s we remember’ email that went around a while back, could you please forward it to me – I’m reckoning there’s 80’s websites on this bollocks, which I’ll no doubt check.

d) A point I need to clear up. Were the Christian television association ads I remember only played in Tasmania? If anyone knows about this please let me know. Or, if there are mainland Christian TV ads that I’m not aware of…ditto.

Christian television ads:
love grows 2 by 2 –
got 3 pockets in my overalls,
life’s what you make it, (and I know from here I’m looking fine)
do unto others as they (with the boomy voice),
the one where there’s two guys walking around on the backs of two other guys,
The one where they are little cartoon men passing signs around to guitar music
Question (There’s a couple operating a faceless dummy that looks at stuff)
The one where it’s just a bunch of hands with white gloves on a black screen making shapes.
The family singing the lord’s prayer in a jazzy way in a caravan.

EXAMPLES – Frisco icecreams, Crazy critter icecreams, Nutty top icecreams, Link-its, those transformer like things but they were rock monsters, hypercolour tshirts (possibly too obvious), max headroom, lemon thins, Saturday fun show (Tasmanian), Sesame street songs like ‘I’m a dog a working dog, I’m a hard working dog…and the doco on how they make saxophones…and how they make apple juice. Frozen thickshakes (I never had one but people said they tasted like wet sand), yo-whip, Vice-versa’s, Bigfoot pizzas, skateboards with wings, those aerodynamic ring frisbee’s,

There’s a little bit to get you reminiscing.

NOTE: If any of you feel a bit weird about having your precious cerebral heirlooms processed by the dead-eyed black monolithic corporate machine of me…consider this like a huge digital bbq where we’re all drunk on infrared punch and times new roman shots.

* Justin probably means this more as a vague sign of goodwill, more than an actual contractual agreement, as the amount of APRA forms he would have to fill out would take him well into his fifties. Be that as it may, intellectual copyright is an intriguing beast…if you feel like your intellectual property is being mistreated by The Bedroom Philosopher or any other mug within arms reach, please go to www.copyright.org.au and flail around.