JUSTIN’S ANNUAL REPORT
INCOME:
Newstart Allowance: $8429
The Bedroom Philosopher: $4009
Centre For Adult Education: $1101
Pinnacle Hospitality Agency: $236
Total: $13775
TAX DEDUCTIBLE STUFF
Centre For Adult Education: $40
The Bedroom Philosopher : $1293 (I even claimed my pyjamas and doona cover this year)
RESULT: Tax debt of $420
Money in wallet: $85
Money in Bank: $150
DEBTS:
Rent $310 a month
Food $70 fortnight.
Pre-paid mobile: $15 a call.
Nan And Pop Records: $500 (the account has been frozen, and turned in a HECS style, ‘you can pay us the rest when you make it big)
Joanna Mullins: $100 (We thought we’d ‘found’ a bag of spare money at the Kitten Club, where I did my comedy show, and subsequently loaded up on cocktails on the final night. Turns out that money was the club’s spare float. 6 months on and I still have to pay off the bar tab.)
Josh Earl: $40. (for belle and Sebastian ticket)
Tammy Nicholson: $60 (for a Supergrass ticket)
Chris Macdonald: $630 (money we lost on the Comedy Festival Show.)
Credit Card: Sitting comfortably on $1505
Interest paid per month: $24
HECS: $12500
Proposed date of first HECS repayment: 13/8/2055
INCOME:
$470 a fortnight. When I work my 2 shifts a week.
INCOME AFTER ATTEMPTING TO PAY EVERYONE BACK AND RENT AND FOOD
-$85
ASSETS:
Kelly the guitar: $1400 (she’s lost $300 from all the times I’ve dropped her this year. But I think the blood stains should add value)
Computer, Pentium 2: $150
Laptop from 1994: $80
CD player: $40
Sony Recording Walkman that sometimes works and always chews tapes: $30
Best of the Wombles record: $15000
Sesame Street Fever record: $280000
Collection of vintage suits and ties: $57900000
Alf doll: $800000000000000
Heart: $0
Brain: $0
Dimples: $0
One contact lens: $110

LIABILITIES:
Single bed sheets on a queen sized mattress
Smokes: Champion Ruby (great name for a child)
Broody people in the front row of my gigs