Comments on: I’m So Post Modern Lyric Writing Masterclass Page 1

By: Justin

Justin — Sun, 31 Oct 2010 04:03:28 +0000

Okay – will do! Bad teacher….

By: will

will — Sat, 17 Apr 2010 12:25:13 +0000

im so post modern i think justin should look at page 2 of the masterclass where i left my last comment.

or ill post some here instead =]

By: Justin

Justin — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 11:44:39 +0000

Hey Ink! That ones is very random and cool.
Hey everyone – go over to page 2 cos this is full up! Thanks.

By: simon

simon — Tue, 09 Oct 2007 13:58:38 +0000

im so post modern i dug a fifty metre trench with a spoon and called it sarah

By: Ink

Ink — Thu, 06 Sep 2007 14:02:56 +0000

I’m so post modern, I steal people’s sideburns, staple them to biscuits and pass it off as my Dad.

By: Nigel

Nigel — Fri, 18 May 2007 12:54:34 +0000

My friend made this one

“I’m so postmodern that I wear a pegleg and an eyepatch, actually it doesn’t make me postmodern, only a pirate.”

By: Justin

Justin — Wed, 25 Apr 2007 07:01:25 +0000

Hey Joeb,
The last one of these is probably the best one. As it creates some nice basic absurd logic. Like, why not just go to school in the first place? I must say, that a post modern lyric ISN’T just putting three random things together, which you have in a lot of these cases. Like dolphin/horse race/gas station. There needs to be something extra, be it a pun, or a juxtaposition or alliteration or some ironic poetic subverting to make it more than just three random things. Watch your word usage too – the one about wigs would never scan to the post modern music. Try saying your lines over the song to make sure they match the meter.

By: Justin

Justin — Wed, 25 Apr 2007 07:01:07 +0000

Hey Leinad, nice one! We’re not seeing much Bookendian content so that’s a great attempt. Nice alternate rhyme with rat and mat, it sounds good – and a suitably random positioning there. Bordering on being just too random for random’s sake, but I’m buying it.
Second one not quite there. Love the use of the word lozenge – falls away a bit after that. Wouldn’t use ‘use’ twice like that – and the random things are too similar to their counterparts.

By: Justin

Justin — Wed, 25 Apr 2007 07:00:51 +0000

Hey Bungdeetle. First two are my favourites. These are really surreal. Scavenging for clowns is unexpected, as is Latvian feelings. Clubbing at cafes is too similar to playing yahtzee in nightclubs perhaps – try to stray away from original lyrics. Bert newton’s my wife is a good ridiculous concept – but the shoes – not so much, perhaps as it genuinely isn’t something we can believe or imagine.

By: Justin

Justin — Wed, 25 Apr 2007 07:00:32 +0000

Hi Boggie. I like saying hello to the washing machine, but then it becomes too random for random’s sake. This may seem like a confusing rule – but there has to be something more happening that just x plus x with an x. Like tattoo of my pin number in hieroglyphics on my neighbours guide dog. Humour is created because of the thought that the blind guy with the dog would never be able to see the tattoo. And the thought of how did you tattoo that on the dog in the first place. And how did you work out the hieroglyphics? I dunno – there’s just more that the imagination can piece together, like, you’re painting a crazy scene, that the listener can think about for a little bit. Wheras a washing machine playing poker is imaginable, but then eating your pencil case – perhaps it’s all over too quickly – or maybe the toilet is playing poker and gets a royal flush? Lame gag but at least it connects things a little more.

By: Justin

Justin — Wed, 25 Apr 2007 07:00:01 +0000

Hey Joel, I think I like the last one best. I like the abruptness syntaxically of powder plus powder is quite a funny word. These aren’t being ‘crazy’ enough to get over the line – helmets when clubbing isn’t weird enough – riding girls bikes downstairs, sure it’s random, but it needs to be totally nuts, like I wear helmets when crying? Buy unicorn bikes and stack mythically?

By: Justin

Justin — Wed, 25 Apr 2007 06:59:38 +0000

Hey Jebus I like these. You’ve got a good sense of the absurd. Invisible ink on the side of a toaster is a nice, weird thought. You’ve gone for a Me Ow gag which I give tremendous props to. The last two are great in theory, but aren’t quite pulled off. The last one is a bit clumsy and the cement one maybe works well now I look at it. Yeah, it does – it’s a good gag actually. Well done.

By: Justin

Justin — Wed, 25 Apr 2007 06:34:16 +0000

Hey there Fish Hook – the multi syllable aspect isn’t a problem – it scans okay. Maybe the items all need to be a little weirder and more random? Coffee for mouthwash isn’t as attention grabbing as maybe milo (better alliteration too). Flannel for floss? Or I’m so anorexic I use my finger for floss? Butter on a rope instead of saying butter for soap, see how you’re still saying it but it’s a little more interesting?

By: Jebus

Jebus — Tue, 23 Jan 2007 07:11:36 +0000

Here’s my best shot, all in Standardina since I couldn’t seem to think in any other rythm:

I’m so post modern I diarise all my burps, on the side of a toaster, in invisible ink.
I’m so post modern I raised a stray cat, then I dropped it by accident, it said Me Ow.
I’m so post modern that I swim in wet cement, I tried it in dry cement, but found it quite hard.
I’m so post modern when I lost my calm, I found it with my girlfriend, and lost it again.

By: Joel

Joel — Sun, 03 Dec 2006 12:41:13 +0000

Just making these up:
im so post modern i dont need a doormat, …but i will buy a wall.

im so postsmodern i wear helmets when clubbing, buy girls bikes, then ride them downstairs.

im so post modern i browse library catalogues, circle my favourites, and write a letter to santa.

im so postmodern i hunt bees in the laundry, find them in my shorts, then apply powder.